Follow
Share

A bit of backstory:
Husband has ESLD and over the last couple of months his cognitive skills have declined significantly. After the most recent fall at home, I had him placed in a nice facility that has multiple levels of care: rehab/memory/SNF so that he won't need to move as his needs change.
He knows who & where he is. Recognizes me, recognizes voices of family over the phone... he just cannot think rationally or logically.
One problem is that he's aware enough to know that he's *not home* and gets agitated, uncooperative. Asks when we're going home. DEMANDS that I take him home. He's not safe at home-- that's why he's in care!
He fell again (at facility) a few days ago and broke his hip, is in hospital now but will be discharged back to facility on Monday.
My question: What can I do to keep him distracted/calm?
He must always be doing something with his hands it seems. Fidgeting constantly. I brought him a plushy cat that looks much like our real cat and he seems to really love it but it's not enough.
Was talking to doc at hospital today re: calming meds but don't want him drugged & weak especially with the damaged hip and new mobility issues. Ugh. It's a tough slog.
Hubby can't see well enough to read and was never a big reader or game player anyway, so I'm grasping for ideas!

Find Care & Housing
He is anxious and uncomfortable.
Time for discussion with doctors.
There is no reason now not to seek some comfort in all of this, some calm for him.
The problems with medications I am certain you are already aware of: falls, difficulty in assessing the efficacy, being now TOO sleepy, side effects of the medications, and etc.

Speak with the doctors. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report
TUXcat70 Feb 1, 2025
"Was talking to doc at hospital today re: calming meds but don't want him drugged & weak especially with the damaged hip and new mobility issues."


Yes. Thanks.


We are exploring possibilities.
(0)
Report
There are wooden fidget boxes that have zippers, locks, buckles, different textures of fabric, and shoelaces to lace. Guys seem to like those a lot, especially if they have enjoyed mechanical things during their lives. Sometimes they like pleating a small piece of fabric, like their bibs, all day long. Also they enjoy different textures, such as knit, woven or crocheted squares all sewn together so their fingers aren't touching the same texture over and over. They might play with a paper towel or napkin, folding it into little pleats or squares. The trouble with something small or made of paper is that they put it in their mouths, and you can be unaware that it's in there. It gets soggy and they might try to swallow it, or they'll lodge it between their teeth and cheek. That's very unsafe, so make sure that they're never around something too small.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Fawnby
Report
TUXcat70 Feb 1, 2025
Thank you! Sounds like something DH would really enjoy. He does fiddle with paper towels and napkins but fortunately doesn't try to stuff them into his mouth.

He's bored sometimes, and needs a challenge to occupy him.

I will look for the buckle & zipper thing!
(0)
Report
There are figet blankets. My daughter crocheted one for my Mom and then sold some to the facility Mom was in.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

These are some of the things I gave my Husband.
Blocks. I got a stacking block game and he cold stack them, line them up, arrange them by color. There were all sorts of things he did.

Toy cars. He would just push them back and forth on the table.

Coloring book, crayons. (epic failure, he never liked "artsy stuff")

Cards. He would sort the colors or numbers. (I got a deck of UNO they are colorful and large print)

My Husband was an "oral" person almost everything went into his mouth so I got him teething toys and he would chew on them. But a lot of them now are textured and colorful.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report
TUXcat70 Feb 1, 2025
Blocks! Toy cars! Why didn't I think of those?

Another great idea, thanks!
(0)
Report
You know that calming meds will help him and you, but you “don't want him drugged & weak”. Ask the doctor to start with a very low dose, and build up until you get to the best possible balance. It’s worth a try.

Another thing to try is music tapes of songs he would remember. See if he can hum along with them.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MargaretMcKen
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter