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Not much you can do unfortunately if he is in his right mind. My FIL lost over 100,000 to a scammer who he thought was in love with him. Yes he was mid seventies and she was a 30 year old who lived overseas. Tell dad if he loses all his money to this scammer you are not giving him any money or taking care of him.
Heddy, we really need more information. Does your Dad have any memory issues? Is your Dad living on his own, or living with you? I was curious about his living arrangement since you said he is doing this all in secret.... just wondering how you know about the calls and Dad sending the woman money?
Who is Dad's financial Power of Attorney? If Dad is making poor judgments regarding how he is using his money, that POA could step in to help your Dad manage his money.
This is an extremely common scam perpetrated against the elderly. If this is happening through a device, like laptop, maybe it can become "infected with a virus" and require some time in the shop (wink).
If you're his FPoA and he does not yet have a diagnosis of cognitive impairment or memory problems, then I'd read the PoA doc to see what's required to activate your authority and then create a "therapeutic fib" to get him into a medical appointment for discrete testing. Don't wait to act as these scammers are very good at what they do. It's a hard crime to prosecute and once they ve drained him they disappear.
My father is doing the same thing. He cashed in one CD and gave her the cash for a down payment on a house. She just called asking for 30k to pay bills. He met this one on dating website. Then there are the overseas ones. He seems to think its normal for 25 year old women to be interested in 87 year old men lol There is not a thing I can do about it.
Evidently if he thinks he's doing all this in secret he's got that wrong, anyway.
There is no fool like an old fool. Since you have gained access to his "secret" you'd better be open with him about what you know and in what way he is being conned. If he is. If you can prove it.
My Dad hasn't done exactly that but he's gotten in trouble sending money to people who claim they will fix his computer or something like that. Since I write the checks to pay his bills — which he is fine with, he doesn't want the hassle — I set up two accounts, one is the real one with all the major money, and one is a "spending money" one and it has some restrictions on how much he can spend in a day, or in any one transaction. Pretty easy to set up, and it's saved us a lot of hassles. He still has money, but if he tries to spend too much (or take out too much) he can't. He blames the bank and "that damn card!" and not me. :)
Sounds like an episode of catfish, and I think would actually WORK. Of course she will just revisit saying she's in another country. A lot of these folks aren't even the gender they say they are. Think this is an excellent place to start. OP says he is operating secretly so I hope it isn't the tip of the iceberg they are seeing here.
It is such a shame that they live this long and don't realize that there is no way a 25/40 yr old would be really interested in him. There was a Dear Abby just the other day where the man was a 69yr okd widower. His 30 yr old lady neighbor invites him over for dinner 3x a week. He has formed feelings for her. They hug when he leaves, should he give her a kiss? No, because this woman probably sees him as a father figure, if not a grandfather figure. Really, a 30 yr old wants a 69 yr old? Different when you have grown old with this 69 yr old but a 30 yr old saying "yeah I want that 69yr old man" that she will eventually have to care for? I am 72 and don't want an 80 yr old. And I doubt even a 60yr old would want me. What happens to our logic as we age because woman fall for these scams too.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Who is Dad's financial Power of Attorney? If Dad is making poor judgments regarding how he is using his money, that POA could step in to help your Dad manage his money.
If you're his FPoA and he does not yet have a diagnosis of cognitive impairment or memory problems, then I'd read the PoA doc to see what's required to activate your authority and then create a "therapeutic fib" to get him into a medical appointment for discrete testing. Don't wait to act as these scammers are very good at what they do. It's a hard crime to prosecute and once they
ve drained him they disappear.
He met this one on dating website.
Then there are the overseas ones. He seems to think its normal for 25 year old women to be interested in 87 year old men lol
There is not a thing I can do about it.
There is no fool like an old fool. Since you have gained access to his "secret" you'd better be open with him about what you know and in what way he is being conned. If he is. If you can prove it.
Maybe, making her or him, say no will help him understand that he is being taken advantage of.
My dad literally picked up a whore from a whorehouse in NV and she got him for millions. He died with nothing but his social security check monthly.
It was sad to watch but, he made his own choices and paid for the consequences. At least he had or thought he had fun for awhile.