I am very active and try to stay healthy. I have volunteered as a dog walker at our shelter for 12 years. Everyone knows me well and it is like a real job. In Jan, a young woman began working there. We were friendly as I am with everyone. I heard that she had a minor injury with a dog. I asked another staff how she was. A male staff member loudly approached (verbally attacked) me in the lobby and yelled that the injured person is a he (transgender) and I am insensitive ( after caring for injured and lost dogs for 12 years). I am also a healthcare professional.
I got upset and said I didn’t know anything about a person’s sexual business and pronouns and I would not be discussing it in the main lobby, and left crying. I have been removed from volunteer dept and put under the HR guy. I had to meet with HR, a board member (nonprofit), and the shelter director. I was to return in May. Now I got an email that they want another mtg before I can return.
I feel destroyed. Apparently they have informed staff about pronouns (not volunteers). Whoops! They screwed up. I’m really not very accepting of the trans stuff, but could have gotten by. This has been 4 mos. I’m very sick to my stomach and can’t eat. I loved working there and did important work. I was able to get through to fearful dogs and am proud of that. It’s all ruined and I am supposed to have another meeting where they can further humiliate me. If I have a chance to return, how can I work with the people again. To reiterate, I have 12 years, 450 hrs, and have done enough work to be equivalent to $65,000.
I mostly sent this as a warning to other older volunteers as to how they can really get in trouble with this woke stuff. Thanks for listening. I don’t know if they did anything to the guy who yelled at me.
there are many silly people in the world. it -- won't -- be the last time you (or i) bump into silly people. by the way, they exist online too. people who have a chip on their shoulder, and who want to throw their bitterness at you.
the guy in your lobby was in a bad mood. he took it out on you. he made it look like it was about you (typical strategy), but it has nothing to do with you.
if he had been in a good mood, how would he have spoken to you? probably something like this:
"he'll be OK, the injury is healing. so sweet of you to be concerned. by the way, he's actually a he."
and you probably would have said:
"oh, he's a he. thanks for letting me know. so glad he'll be OK."
Paid workers often have to put up with a lot, but that is something volunteers do NOT have to do.
I would just hand in my resignation with a nice letter saying how much you have been humiliated for something you were not aware of or told about. That your a volunteer not an employee. That you feel your "slip up" was taken way too far. The staff member could have handled it much different by saying "were u aware that she is a he?" Not barrating you like a child.
There are other shelters.
P.S. Just want to say that I feel everyone should be who they want to be. I just think things have been taken too far. Teachers reprimanded because they called a student a he when he identifies as a she. A girl identifying as a cat so the teacher has to treat her like a cat. Its just too much.
If anything I would say you have a legitimate complaint to HR. Not that they would necessarily see it that way, but they might.
On the other hand, who wants to volunteer at a place who treats their volunteers like you have been treated?
Kudos to you for all the time and effort you have put in. You don't have to go to another meeting if you don't want to, but you can volunteer somewhere else.
Id also suggest to op that she not have social relations with staff. It really complicates things.
Nothing to do with trans, but my shelter used to have a big prime rib feast for Christmas and only for staff. A volunteer took it upon herself to complain to her, and now we had some cold noodle thing. This volunteer was like shunned for life.
Interactions between u and line staff, anywhere, should just be about the dogs and your specific role.
That said when you return for the second meeting express yourself as eloquently (and from another post I replied to) as succinctly as possible.
If they still have their "tighty whities" in a knot your Volunteer services will be welcomed by any number of organizations.
* and if you want to get "nitpicky" if the staff member did inform you as to the medical status/health status of the other Volunteer the staff person may have been in violation of HIPAA rules.*
AND..if the Volunteer that you were friendly with never informed you as to the pronouns that were preferred you have no way of knowing. I don't know about you but I do not ask anyone about their sexual preference or their gender. The only time it would concern me is if I intended to have a sexual relationship with that person only then would it matter.
https://www.paloaltoonline.com/news/2022/06/13/hate-symbol-or-buddhist-emblem-hidden-villa-cancels-summer-camps-for-1000-kids-after-staffers-resign-over-swastika-tiles
I would politely decline more HR meetings and advise this organization that you are sorry for the initial mistake and are moving on. I would then find another place to volunteer.