I am very active and try to stay healthy. I have volunteered as a dog walker at our shelter for 12 years. Everyone knows me well and it is like a real job. In Jan, a young woman began working there. We were friendly as I am with everyone. I heard that she had a minor injury with a dog. I asked another staff how she was. A male staff member loudly approached (verbally attacked) me in the lobby and yelled that the injured person is a he (transgender) and I am insensitive ( after caring for injured and lost dogs for 12 years). I am also a healthcare professional.
I got upset and said I didn’t know anything about a person’s sexual business and pronouns and I would not be discussing it in the main lobby, and left crying. I have been removed from volunteer dept and put under the HR guy. I had to meet with HR, a board member (nonprofit), and the shelter director. I was to return in May. Now I got an email that they want another mtg before I can return.
I feel destroyed. Apparently they have informed staff about pronouns (not volunteers). Whoops! They screwed up. I’m really not very accepting of the trans stuff, but could have gotten by. This has been 4 mos. I’m very sick to my stomach and can’t eat. I loved working there and did important work. I was able to get through to fearful dogs and am proud of that. It’s all ruined and I am supposed to have another meeting where they can further humiliate me. If I have a chance to return, how can I work with the people again. To reiterate, I have 12 years, 450 hrs, and have done enough work to be equivalent to $65,000.
I mostly sent this as a warning to other older volunteers as to how they can really get in trouble with this woke stuff. Thanks for listening. I don’t know if they did anything to the guy who yelled at me.
The fact that you do it for free gives you a special advantage too. As a volunteer, you do not have to deal with any of the "woke" or "equity" nonsense. You don't have to play those ridiculous over-sensitivity games when you aren't getting paid.
You should file a complaint bout the HR guy with the director because you were abused and unfairly discriminated against. Can you throw in a little "Me too"? Maybe the folks from that cause can help you out.
I suggest you have a free consultation with an attorney. One who understands civil liberties.
If I were you, I would not let this go. I hope you don't.
Transgenderism is not a 'thing' or a trend. It's more openly discussed and seen, but it's always been there.
I know two transgender people. Both were men and are now women. One had surgeries and one did not. I will admit I can't totally wrap my head around it. But I can assure you this is not an easy process and you have to be in bad shape mentally to transition. To feel you were born in the wrong body is a heartbreaking way to live. I don't understand how that feels, but people who are like that are suffering.
They aren’t trying to be weird or edgy.
There's hours upon hours of therapy. Lots of discussions with doctors. The therapist has to give the doctors a report on if the person really is transgender, or if they're just confused and not thinking it through. Even if one doesn't have any surgeries, the hormones are insanely permanent, even if they stop taking them. This isn't something a person can easily fix if they change their mind. They know transitioning will make them an open target for people who will hate-- or even kill-- them for simply existing. They don't want to bully or hurt anyone else. Or make anyone else feel threatened. They understand that they could be mis-gendered by people who truly don't mean any harm. The ones who get all mad and yell at you for misgendering are not the majority, and to do so is rude.
As for "if they have a penis, they're male"... how do you know someone does have one? Unless you look for yourself, you're not going to know!
Please stop throwing around "woke". Woke is not a code word for liberalism, Democrats, atheism, or socialism. I'm not sure why the word became a thing, but whatever. It comes down to not trying to eliminate people that are often treated poorly in society for something they don't have control over. That even if you cannot understand why someone lives the way they do, it's not okay to treat them like crap, exclude them, or ignore them. Basic kindness and courtesy that we ALL want.
(As for the story of a teacher/kid who identifies as a cat in schools, that is 100% not true. Sheesh.)
Like it or not, trans ideology is abusive, most especially to women and children. There are state policies that force homes to place these people with penises in beds next to a poor senior woman on Medicaid. It’s all about his gender euphoria in thinking that his penis and scrotum are, uh, somehow “female”
There are 14 states meanwhile who’ve outlawed trans puberty blockers, hormones and surgery for those under 18. The trans doctor who did Jazz Jennings surgery said themselves (hate mangling the language) that no one who goes through Jazz’s med and surg routine can have an orgasm. They are all sterile. Jazz’s neovagina is made up mostly of colon tissue as there wasn’t enough penis as, again, puberty blockers. This all happened before Jazz was old enough to drink. And this ideology fully supports this with dumb, woke rhetoric like “right to exist.” Yeah, and be sterilized.
That said when you return for the second meeting express yourself as eloquently (and from another post I replied to) as succinctly as possible.
If they still have their "tighty whities" in a knot your Volunteer services will be welcomed by any number of organizations.
* and if you want to get "nitpicky" if the staff member did inform you as to the medical status/health status of the other Volunteer the staff person may have been in violation of HIPAA rules.*
AND..if the Volunteer that you were friendly with never informed you as to the pronouns that were preferred you have no way of knowing. I don't know about you but I do not ask anyone about their sexual preference or their gender. The only time it would concern me is if I intended to have a sexual relationship with that person only then would it matter.
Paid workers often have to put up with a lot, but that is something volunteers do NOT have to do.
If anything I would say you have a legitimate complaint to HR. Not that they would necessarily see it that way, but they might.
On the other hand, who wants to volunteer at a place who treats their volunteers like you have been treated?
Kudos to you for all the time and effort you have put in. You don't have to go to another meeting if you don't want to, but you can volunteer somewhere else.
Id also suggest to op that she not have social relations with staff. It really complicates things.
Nothing to do with trans, but my shelter used to have a big prime rib feast for Christmas and only for staff. A volunteer took it upon herself to complain to her, and now we had some cold noodle thing. This volunteer was like shunned for life.
Interactions between u and line staff, anywhere, should just be about the dogs and your specific role.
there are many silly people in the world. it -- won't -- be the last time you (or i) bump into silly people. by the way, they exist online too. people who have a chip on their shoulder, and who want to throw their bitterness at you.
the guy in your lobby was in a bad mood. he took it out on you. he made it look like it was about you (typical strategy), but it has nothing to do with you.
if he had been in a good mood, how would he have spoken to you? probably something like this:
"he'll be OK, the injury is healing. so sweet of you to be concerned. by the way, he's actually a he."
and you probably would have said:
"oh, he's a he. thanks for letting me know. so glad he'll be OK."
I would just hand in my resignation with a nice letter saying how much you have been humiliated for something you were not aware of or told about. That your a volunteer not an employee. That you feel your "slip up" was taken way too far. The staff member could have handled it much different by saying "were u aware that she is a he?" Not barrating you like a child.
There are other shelters.
P.S. Just want to say that I feel everyone should be who they want to be. I just think things have been taken too far. Teachers reprimanded because they called a student a he when he identifies as a she. A girl identifying as a cat so the teacher has to treat her like a cat. Its just too much.
Its like we are living in a woke nightmare of ridiculous morons who want to be referred to as they or them rather than their first name.
It seems to me calling yourself they is not only dehumanizing to yourself but also hints at a new schizophrenic disorder since they are referring to yourself in the plural.
The worst part is reading an article where the subject of said articklle is referenced with they/them pronouns instead if by their last name. English teachers all over the world should be protesting these grammatical infractions committed by journalists who should know better.
And don't even get me started on the CDC and others calling pregnant women pregnant people. As if....
I’ve gone in showers and spas completely naked. I have the right to not have a penis in view. Women weightlifters and swimmers have the right to not see that too.
I worked at a shelter for 10 years. Unfortunately, your situation has snowballed to the level where I recommend you just quit. There are other shelters, rescue groups, no kills, etc. that would love free labor.
In the future, refer to everyone as “they/them” until you know otherwise.
In order to volunteer we must adhere to the rules of the institution we are volunteering at. That is just a simple fact. You have two choices:
#1. Go to meeting and say (with a huge smile plastered on your face): "Golly, I wish we had been called into meeting like the employees; the information would have been so helpful to me. I am more than happy to comply. I never should have become emotional in the lobby, and I can promise you I will never do that again. I hope you will give me a second change. I love volunteering here."
OR
#2. "Quite honestly I just can't keep up. I am afraid I am not "woke" and may NEVER awaken. For me this is all nonsense. I love volunteering, but I simply cannot keep up, and I find that free speech seems to swing too one way for me. I wish you all good luck in future."
There isn't an option three.
It's up to you. Swallow your personal opinions (we ALL have them) or tell them your opinion (they don't care).
https://www.paloaltoonline.com/news/2022/06/13/hate-symbol-or-buddhist-emblem-hidden-villa-cancels-summer-camps-for-1000-kids-after-staffers-resign-over-swastika-tiles
I would politely decline more HR meetings and advise this organization that you are sorry for the initial mistake and are moving on. I would then find another place to volunteer.