In mid-June I will need to undergo surgery--I have a malignant growth on one side of my thyroid gland. I have NOT told my Mom it's cancerous (she had a mastectomy in 1988, when she was 58). She does know I will have surgery. Then two weeks later I will have to go back for a post-operative isolation for a few days...some close relatives will take my place. How should I prepare my mother (of the "Doppelganger" situation) for this?
My sig other was able to handle the grocery store runs. And my parents changed their doctor appointment to later dates.
I was afraid if i told my folks about the cancer they would go back into their helicopter parent mode and I didn't need that stress during recovery.
Good luck with the surgery. It should be simple with little down time.
If I had a bad cold and was home from work, Mom would be on the phone at least once an hour to see how I am feeling, giving suggestions, wanting to know if there was anything she or my dad could do. Mom was acting like I was on my last breath.
Ok it was sweet of them to check up on me, but enough already. Nothing like finally getting to sleep and the phone would ring.... [sigh]. Plus it wasn't like I could say "could Dad run to the drug store and get me cough drops" as neither one were driving due to their advanced age.
Day before, " Mom, Sally and Mike (substitute family names) will be coming over tomorrow when I go to the hospital for a little procedure. I should be home on _______. I'll call you each day. Have fun with the family. They want to take you out for a hamburger. You'll like that!"
Good luck Doogie. We're all here pulling for you.
Of course, at 86 and with heart issues, she shouldn't have been expected to recover like a younger person; but the surgery turned out to be more complicated and extensive than expected, too.
I pray the best for you, and a speedy and full recovery.
All the same, I like to expect the best while I prepare for the worst.
See All Answers