For the past year I have been living during the week at my Grandparent's house, solely taking care of my Grandfather (cooking, cleaning, meds, bills, appointments etc), meanwhile I have a 12 year old son and long term boyfriend 30 minutes away and I see them in the weekends. Then I care part time for my boyfriend's parents going to doctors appointments picking up meds changing bandages and some hygiene things for the both of them. My Gpa, has severe COPD, emphazema and dementia. (Beginning stages), my grandma handled everything that had to do with money or household things and he worked as he has a 4th grade education. She passed away 9 years ago. At first everyone in the family started being greedy and only cared about money. (Sad but true), my aunt did his finances and my mother taught him laundry and meds stuff like that. He has two life insurances and those two are supposed to handle all this stuff but it just seems like all they all care about is money. No one stops to see him unless they want money. My grandma had eight kids GPA adopted three of them my mom included. I can't get any help from anyone. He asked me last year to move in he is afraid he is going to stop breathing and no one will be here or find him. My boyfriend and I have been having some issues and we were separating anyhow, so I agreed. However, the problem is that my boyfriend and I didn't split up and decided our relationship was worth fighting for. Fast forward to now. Grandpa gets upset anytime I leave the house. My boyfriend makes me feel like I am doing the wrong thing. Anytime I leave Grandpa texts me it's emergency and needs me to be there. My boyfriend refuses to come spend time with me at Grandpa's and is overly jealous of Gpa and makes rude comments about only caring about GPA. Then I go to pt 3 times a week for my own illnesses. I have no time at all and cannot leave GPA alone for more than two days. I have told my boyfriend numerous times that this is my sacrifice and I want him to go out and enjoy life if he doesn't want this life. What should I do? Not one person asks me how I feel, I just get complaints from everyone I am not around enough.
This is the perfect opportunity to get some professional help set up for g'pa. Talk to the social worker at the hospital and ask for help. They can direct you.
How are you doing? How is grandpa?
Sending prayers of strength to you.
You are one person — and one person can’t do it all. No one else is stepping up because you’re trying to do it all. Like so many others on this forum, it starts out as helping. Then it takes a life of its own & we feel there is no way out. Yes there is; you just need to accept that no one will be happy about it. And how is that different than now when no one is happy? Only that YOU will be less exhausted.
Easier said than done. We all know that. Cheering you on & sending hugs from CT.
There will be a solution for you, I am sure.
You can figure this out.