I was attempting to manage her bank accounts to make sure her bills are paid on time and to make sure she’s not overdrawn. It is a durable power of attorney. After I transferred her latest CD to her checking account to pay her rent, they called her at assisted living and got her very upset. Is this a normal course of events for banks? Are they going to do this every time I make sure her bill paying account has sufficient funds?
She has moderate dementia and high anxiety. She had the paperwork drawn up previously because she was forgetting things like paying her bills and remembering appointments. I take her to her medical appointments and make sure she is properly taken care of. I do not charge her for this nor do I take money from her accounts.
Regarding bills going to her, I changed the address on all of my sister's accounts to my address. (Be sure to notify the post office as they will see her name in your mail and send it back.) When I stopped getting some of the bills, I found out that she called and had the address changed to the facility where she lives. She just tosses mail in a drawer and does nothing with them. When I found this out, some bills were ready for collection! I talked to the owner of the facility about it. She now separates her mail, gives her items that look like greeting cards or magazines and once a week sends me a manila envelope with the rest of the mail. I give the owner some extra money for postage and envelopes. The post office does not always forward the mail as they did before. Keep on top of it with the facility because as employees come and go, some of these "unwritten" rules are not shared with new employees. Three weeks ago the owner found a bill in her drawer that was six months old. A new employee was not aware of the issue.
God bless you as this is difficult and many times a thankless job.
‘If she was upset, perhaps you could tell her before you transfer a CD and why it is needed. Or better yet, ask them to call her while you are there. Some banks will not accept a DPOA at all unless prepared by their own attorney. Maybe they have an unknown reason for not trusting you but more likely they have a procedure they are required to follow. It’s better for her to be upset than for someone to be scamming her.
Something missing, or this would work well. I was POA and Trustee of Trust for my brother. There were never any problems with the correct paperwork. So this is very abnormal.
What reason did they give you for refusing the POA? Perhaps you should take your friend personally to the bank and work all of this out with them.
Her assisted living payments are drawn on one specific account directly. She has several accounts and the CD accounts will all have to be transferred to that account when they mature rather than roll them over. She is in the process of spending down to qualify for long term care Medicaid. At over $5,0000 a month for assisted living this won’t take many months. She has had trouble doing this for herself for awhile and it’s only getting worse.
I first started helping her three years ago when she weighed under 80 pounds. She was incapable of properly feeding herself and I took her meals seven days a week. She gained weight. I also started helping her get to her doctor appointments, helped her move out of a dilapidated house decaying around her into a subsidized apartment. I continued bringing her meals, taking her to the doctor and visiting her. Her health steadily improved. By this time, I became her healthcare POA and had a “springing” financial POA. As long as she was able to pay her bills, that worked well but gradually she started losing the ability to keep track of her bills and that’s when a new durable POA was drawn up at her insistence. I sat with her and helped her pay her bills. She wouldn’t eat properly when she was alone, she stopped taking her medicines, she lost the ability to use her stove and microwave for cooking, she couldn’t do housework, etc.. I had someone come in three times a week to do light housekeeping and laundry for her on the days that I wasn’t there. We also had a neighbor coming every evening to heat her supper for her but she still wouldn’t eat well. Her weight started to decline again. She collapsed two different times, almost dying each time and was hospitalized. The doctors did not feel comfortable the last time unless she was going into assisted living. They helped me arrange it for her. She does so much better in assisted living than living in an apartment. She now weighs 111 pounds. A nice healthy weight. They make her meals, assist her with showering and other personal hygiene, do her laundry & room housekeeping and offer activities. She needs to be there. Her memory is not so great anymore, her dementia is slowly progressing and I pay her bills for her now and still manage her healthcare. In order to pay her bills properly I was added to her accounts. My question is simply this, is it normal for a bank to call someone in assisted living when the POA is managing accounts in order for bills to be paid on time?
I have never taken money for helping her, she is my friend.