Is it true that a fall can start "the beginning of the end?" Is my Mother heading toward that so quickly?
Up until two weeks ago, Mom was able to get herself up, dressed, to the bathroom, down to the dining room at AL, to events etc. Although she was weak and unsteady she was pretty much independent. Then she stood up and fell. She bumped her head a little so they sent her to the ER. Although she didn't really hurt herself, she spent the night there, and fell again there. I'm wondering if she didn't have an "event" which caused it all. After that she was so weak she couldn't stand on her own and couldn't stay in AL so for the past 2 weeks she has been in a nursing home. We thought she might be able to be rehabbed and return to AL. But she fell again there, and hit her head requiring stitches this time. She has practically stopped eating, tries to get up every five minutes at night and sleeps on and off most of the day, saying leave me alone, and pretty much out of it (they have to give her a tranquilizer to keep her from being agitated so I suspect that is why she is sleepy). Is this the way it progresses at the end? I'm praying she is not suffering and isn't aware of what it happening. I sit there for hours with her, but she barely knows I'm there and five minutes after I leave she doesn't remember.
Everything your Mom is experiencing now is what my Mom went through for a month. Then Mom got a UTI which made everything worse. The hospital doctor recommended Hospice so we set that up.
Now into the end of our second month and we are seeing changes that really are surprising us. Mom is now feeding herself and eating solid foods. That's all she can do for herself, but that's impressive on its own.
This evening when I went to visit Mom she asked if I was at work today [my gosh first time in 2 months she had remembered], and smiled saying her hair needs to be cut [which it does], and she asked if it had rained today. Even the nurses/aides were remarking about how Mom has improved.
Then she was having some type of delirium, tugging at her clothes, flinging her arms, then fell to sleep. So we quietly left her, and like with your Mom, she won't remember I was even there :(
It may be towards the end, but she is living with these challenges, a better way to think of it instead of dying from the challenges. Imop, hoping that did not offend anyone.
Best to you and your Mom.
From your description of her behavior, you may want to have a discussion with her doctor about having her evaluated for hospice.
It's hard...
But not every fall starts the beginning of the end. My husband fell repeatedly in the BEGINNING of his journey with dementia -- and lived another nine years.
My mother fell and broke her hip (or more likely her hip broke and she fell) in the nh. In the hospital she was delirious and they recommended hospice care. She returned to the nh on hospice care. She improved and after about 3 months she "graduated" from hospice and is doing fairly well, 18 months later. Her dementia is worsening slowly, but physically she is doing well.
I don't think it is possible to generalize about falls and the end of life.
Getting hospice care in the nh was very helpful as I see it. A huge benefit is that all red tape is cut. They thought she needed a special mattress ... she got it the same day. When she could be transferred out of bed they got a special geri chair for her right now. They wanted to try a different pain med? It didn't have to wait for the nh doctor to approve it and insurance to approve it and someone to deliver it. She had it within an hour. This alone was worth signing up for hospice! Then she got extra attention. The nh staff still cared for her, but there was an extra check by the hospice nurse and there were volunteers who painted her nails and sat with her. Mom's nh is a very caring place, but short-staffed like nearly every facility. Extra attention was worthwhile!
My husband was on hospice at home, for 5 weeks before he died. That was a very comforting addition to his care, too.
At the nursing home when Mom was talking saying things that didn't happen, or thinking she was in a hotel in another State, I just agreed with her instead of trying to correct her.... so much easier that way.
I believe the Staff noticed how I was dealing with Mom and me not freaking out over the little things, that has made it easier talking with the Staff. Whenever the Staff calls about Mom yet again falling out of bed, I take it in stride, I know there isn't much any of us can do, this is just part of dementia process... maybe up Mom's meds a bit to calm her down.
But things really seemed to escalate with her after that. I think when they start falling thats usually an indication of something. In my Mom's case CT scans did not show any signs of stroke or brain bleeds. Just normal brain decline for someone in their nineties.
Genesis, might the HOA be OK with a temporary ramp (if that is what is needed)? It would be easy to remove when you move.
Does your wife use a wheelchair? After many falls my husband was thrilled to be able to safely scoot around in his wheelchair. It restored a measure of independence. His doctor warned that he should do some walking, too, so as not to loose the strength to transfer to bed, the toilet, etc. It worked wonderfully for him.
After my mother's hip broke in the nursing home she was wheelchair-bound. But an aide came and wheeled her to all the activities and meals. She could even have her hair done in the wheelchair. Mom was content and lived a couple more years.
My Mom went to rehab after her 2nd fall where Medicare paid for the first 20 days, but since she wasn't responding to any type of therapy, after the 20 days she was put in as self-pay which my parents could afford.
I am the same as you are, my home isn't elder friendly, in fact there are days the house doesn't like me :P Plus my age and my physical health as I am in my own age decline. Heck, if I fall, is Mom going to pick me up???
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