Mum has a colostomy and vascular dementia its ok at home I can try and get her to go and get clean but shes getting worse in public and its very embarrassing she just wont go and change and thinks she dosnt smell? How an earth do you cope shes getting worse and just gets angry?
I know this is an awful thing to have and I do feel for her but this is not easy for me in public and sometimes I don't want to go out with her.
problem is she is beginning to pick off and lift the wafer consistently.
She is in an assisted living facility, and she is demanding more and
more attention. She doesn't realize she is doing it. They don't know
what to do to stop the behavior either. Any ideas?
Its not nice for anyone but when I see the look on peoples faces when they are near her in shops and the smell is so bad and she just dosnt realise and then they think shes just a smelly old lady shes not its like you want to tell everyone that shes not well.
I just wondered if someone had some fantastic idea id never heard of worth a try! Ill just stick with my bottle of perfume handy.
And youre are so right I shouldnt be embarrassed my mum wouldnt be if it was me.
I will try and be more patient with her and maybe suggest i go to the toilet with her and yes blackmail she needs to understand that when i tell her she needs to change then she does it and dosnt get angry about it. Shes early stages but I think the anger is her dignity as she was always so clean and disgreet.
Yes as regard your dads hearing aids same here she only got them two days ago and now " I DONT WANT TO WASTE THE BATTERIES" ?? im so drained and feel like im constantly at her for something and dont want to NAG all the time but sometimes you have to make things better for everyone around!
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Another thought, are the public places she's going optional. I mean, like shopping or visiting. Is she still cooperative enough that you can make a deal with her? Like... "Mom, I will only take you to the mall with me, if you agree to clean up your colostomy when say it needs to be done. "
That kind of "deal" used to work with getting my dad to wear his hearing aids, but as his dementia has increased, it doesn't work anymore.
(BTW, I'm a nurse and have take care of hundreds of colostomy patients, and I know that the smell can be far worse than the smell of simple stool incontinence. I wish you luck.)