My mom had an episode late last night where she created a story / new memory for her about my dad (her primary caregiver). She was incredibly upset, had barricaded herself in her room and she refused to stay in her own home, my husband and I brought her to our home to stay the night and I called out sick to work today. She refuses to go home where "he is" (meaning my dad) and I have no idea what to do. My dad has been in the process of finding a new doctor for her (right now she just has a PCP) and I know she desperately needs her meds adjusted. What do I do in the interim I can't miss anymore work . . . and she can't be alone in my home I just don't trust that she won't leave and wander etc.
I've gone through this with my dad, and now my mom is going down that road. It is not easy, but you need to take care of yourself first, or you won't be able to help her.
Among his delusions, my dad had a delusion that I had hired a bunch of actors to put on an infomercial (at 3 in the morning) and somehow was preventing him from turning off his TV so he was forced to watch it. He also believed I took a coffee can of keys he had (don't ask, LOL) outside and set it next to the fence on his property line. These were prior to my being able to get him moved from where he lived into memory care.
There have been several good suggestions here, so hopefully one or more of them will be of some assistance.
Might be best for all involved if mom gets placed in a memory care facility, where you all can get back to just being her loving family and not her overwhelmed caregivers.
Mother should not have been brought to your house.
EMS should have been called via 911.
Mother would go to ER for a 5150 hold. She would receive medical testing to be sure her electrolytes aren't out of balance; to ensure that she hasn't taken any drugs and she has no UTI.
This can still be done from your home, if mother will not go to ER with you.
Once mother is in hospital they need to be informed she cannot be returned to home if there is no "cure" and "condition diagnosed" and you may be looking at Social Workers and placement.
But coming to your home is the WORST solution ever, because it does nothing but keep you off work. It doesn't diagnose or treat or safely place if needed.
Im sorry. Dementia is one loss after another.
Then, in case this does happen again, please contact an agency ASAP. You need to fill out forms beforehand, they will probably want to come for a home visit, or whatever. But at least, if approved, you'd be on their rolls and would have someone to call next time.
If there is a next time. I mention that because your mom needs 24/7 care, and the best place for that is in a facility where they are prepared and equipped to handle people with your mom's issues. I'm so sorry, but this is beyond what you and dad can handle on your own.
This could be as simple as a UTI and could be a good deal more complex. If you are able to test the urine use the dipsticks from pharmacy which are cheap and easy to follow. Positive for nitrites, blood and/or leukocytes means further eval needed on the urine.
I am so sorry, but she needs care and evaluation. This isn't choice anymore.