My grandfather has Parkinson's (diagnosed) and I believe early-onset Alzimers. His memory and cognitive abilities are getting worse. And because of this, he has problems with peeing outside of the toilet. According to my father, (he and I both live with grandpa to help take care of him) even when he sits down and pees, he still manages to pee outside the toilet. Like, he pees between the bowl and the seat. Unfortunately, this has lead to us putting a carpet in front of the toilet to catch the mess. We wash it every 2-4 days to try and manage. But I'm wondering if there is anything else we can do to prevent this from happening? Having to clean up the messes is getting extremely tiresome and the carpet is getting disgusting.
P.S I am a 20 yr old female and my father is a 55 yr old on oxygen. I try my best to do some cleaning but my father is the one doing most of the work in caring for my grandfather. We just really need some advice.
If Dementia is now present, and Dad seems to have his own problems, maybe time to place your grandfather. If no money Medicaid can pay for his care. His Social Security and any pension will go towards his care. So hope you and Dad do not depend on grands income. If Caregivers for more than 2 yrs, you may be able to stay in the house but have to show the ability to pay taxes, mortgage, utilities and upkeep.
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We assume that everyone wants to pee inside the toilet. If they don't, we think it must be a mistake we can help them with, and they'll comply with our guidance. Unfortunately, this is not so. My LO peed in the dishwasher, on the refrigerator, on stored boxes of Depends (in his memory care bathroom). I would take him to the toilet at home, stand right there with him, and he would swivel away from the toilet at the last minute and pee in the bathtub! When I expressed annoyance with this, he talked a babble of words (he suffers from aphasia), complete with gesturing and pointing at the tub which I took to mean that he believed it was okay to pee in it.
Other times he even got into the tub, sat on the shower chair and peed as if it was the toilet, and then he turned on the tub faucet to flush it, then got out and left the faucet running and didn't understand why his legs were wet. He peed on hall baseboards, carpet, in his shoe, on my placemat. He'd get up at night to do some of this, or accomplish it while I was five feet away busy with some task. He was quite sneaky about it, but his intent was clear: he meant to pee in all these places. He has a broken brain. And yes, after the peeing, it progresses to pooping. Maybe in the tub, maybe on the bathroom floor.
As for grandpa, he's at the point now with this behavior where you'd all benefit from his move to a memory care facility. Despite the good suggestions here, I doubt that you're going to be able to contain his "problem." The question for you and your family is how much can you tolerate now that you know this isn't going to get better? A home that stinks of male urine (or worse) is not a pleasant place for anyone to live. It gets in the drains, down under the carpet pad, into the tile grout of the bathroom and kitchen, and the odor doesn't go away with time.
I'm so sorry. All this must be horrifying, I know. It certainly was to me.
A small sponge-on-a-stuck container of mild antiseptic solution at the side of the toilet will help you to keep things tidy. Wash it frequently.
You can ask Granddad, also, if he would be willing to "sit" to void, but this will require good pull bars at the side of a raised toilet due to issues of balance/knees and other vagaries of aging.
Get creative. Think outside the box, and good luck. Carpeting is not a good solution in any bathroom in my own opinion.
What is your plan here? My concern is that you as a very young person seem to be ensnared in intense caregiving. Is your father expecting you to take care of him too? That could be another 20+ years of your life.
Do you have a job or career interests beyond caregiving? Maybe it is time to explore options for dad and grandpa that would still allow you to start your own, independent life.
If he is using cloth underwear remove all regular underwear and provide only disposable underwear. Don't even say anything about the swap. If he asks just say it is new underwear.
A couple comments about the rug in front of the toilet.
1. It can be a trip hazard.
2. If you are going to keep it then it has to be removed and washed each time he goes to the bathroom NOT every 2 to 4 days.
https://www.silverts.com/all-adaptive/pants/alzheimer-s-jumpsuits
or you can find similar on amazon.
You will need to choose how much you and your Dad exhaust yourselves. It's time to get control of things and be proactive, rather than waiting for things to completely devolve and make more work you two. His ALZ and Parkinson's won't improve or even stay the same it will only get worse and he will inevitably need this change in care so just do it now.
I wish you success! Please hang out and read more on this forum -- it will give you so many good hacks and prepare you for what else to expect so that neither you nor your Dad are blindsided while caring for your Grandpa.
My late husband only had use of one hand and he had essential tremors in his one hand so pee was going everywhere. I put his bedside commode over the top of his toilet and made him sit down to pee, which ended up working great once he got used to sitting down to pee.
And on a side note...if your grandfather is peeing on the floor/rug everyday, you really need to be washing it everyday and perhaps multiple times a day, instead of every 2-4 days so your house doesn't start smelling like urine.