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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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This is one of many possible dementia behaviors. She’s lost the ability to reason and make good decisions as her brain is under attack and sadly dying. In the home, if you don’t want this to happen, the choice is to cut off her access to food, a lot of effort and vigilance on your part, or watch her 24/7, very tiring for caregivers.
Take her to a neurologist and get her dementia diagnosed as that is what it sounds like she has. And then you start learning all you can about this horrific disease of dementia so you will be better prepared for what lies ahead.
Don’t question her about it. It will only upset you both.
Some people padlock the frig and pantry. Seems a bit extreme. I guess it depends on whether she is taking a big ham or a crust of bread. You could limit the places you store the type food items she is attracted to.
Cameras might be helpful to spend less time looking for it. Those could be placed in her room, in the kitchen or dining area. You might detect a pattern.
Fewer hiding places in her room might be helpful. But it seems you already know where to look.
Or you might give her a large ziplock for her drawer and ask her to put what she needs in the ziplock. You could even hand the bag to her at the table to put anything she wants in it.
Know that this behavior will pass. She will start doing something else that her mental condition compels her to do.
Best to manage your own anxiety about her losses or they can overwhelm you. I’m sorry that you and mom are dealing with this no win situation.
Comfort: Food can provide comfort, and having a stash nearby may make them feel more at ease. Restrictions- maybe she feels her food and independence has been restricted and she has no control
rather than reprimanding her - maybe the route is to work with her - unless it’s cognitive decline then it’s a defence reaction. Maybe put a bowl and ask her wot she’d like in her treat bowl sk it’s out in the open if you see it just put it back where it’s supposed to be maybe she’s still hungry ask her friendly if she feels hungry later and you can work on some nice healthy treats to be left for her sone times caring for people we lose touch with feelings caught up in chores and obligations think of her like a five year old you are looking after - is she hungry/why is she feeling the need for comfort if lost speak to her doctor that’s prob the best option for them to advise - I’m sure they s seen this many times over best wishes for a speedy resolution
Maybe have granola bars or something that is wrapped so she can snack when she feels she needs something. You don't want meat or bread or something that may call ants - but wrapped kid snacks should be fine - like goldfish crackers, pretzels, dried fruit.
No food in the bedroom, period. Crumbs or wrappers or any kind of food is going to attract rodents, ants, moths, etc... if it's stuffed in a drawer, the closet, or under the bed.
No food in bed. Not only is that nasty and gross, it will attract unwanted visitors to the home.
I think, sadly, there needs to be lots more supervision now. Anywhere with food stuffs is going to have to have special locks. Easy enough with drawers and cabinets but the refrigerator is something else again. And quite honestly this is hard to monitor if your mom is quietly sneaking the end of that steak in her napkin, to take to eat later. And then forgets about it.
I can't imagine anything you can do other than vigilant reminders and monitoring. But I do have a funny story to lighten your day a bit:
When my brother's car crash occurred, we had to leave SF emergently to fly to Palm Springs where we were for a week. Left the heat on too high. But worse, I left a drawer in my tiny "room of one's own", where typically I read, full of six new boxes of Good N Plenty candies. (Back when I ate them; I've switched to Red Hots). Periodically in this 1870s built old Italianate we will get a mouse or two to deal with. Usually in the winter, and this was February. It's usually not tough once we find the new ingress and address it, and use the humane traps to get them. But this time we were gone for a week. Came home to a very warm house, and to the boxes accessed, the candy coating nibbled off, the licorice eaten, and a very dead mouse at the bottom of the stairs. My sad mouse story and I am sticking to it.
Hoarding is a common behavior problem with dementia patients. It can be a precursor to developing Alzheimer's and dementia.
The following is what I wrote in my recent book "Dementia Care Companion",
Hoarding is most commonly seen in Alzheimer’s disease, frontotemporal dementia, and Lewy body dementia. Around 23 percent of dementia patients develop hoarding behavior, typically in the early and middle stages of their illness. Patients hoard all kinds of stuff. They collect, organize, fold and package them, put them away in nooks and crannies, and then spend many busy hours searching in various drawers, cabinets, and wardrobes to rediscover and unpack the items, only to repackage and store them again. Hoarding typically occurs in tandem with obsessive-compulsive behavior, overeating, and pilfering. What all these behaviors have in common is an underlying sense of anxiety, impairment in impulse control, and memory loss. The patient is trying to get a grip on a life that is increasingly out of their control, with a mind that is no longer able to hold on. Hoarding is also seen in some older individuals who do not have dementia. Hoarding in older individuals may be a precursor to dementia and a warning sign.
How to Handle Hoarding Although hoarding can be challenging for the caregiver, it does not help to get angry or scold the patient. Patience, creativity, and humor are better ways of handling all kinds of behavioral problems, and hoarding is no exception. · Find out what drives the hoarding behavior and try to remove the cause. Is the patient worried that their stuff may get lost or stolen? When they spread, repackage, and store items, are they trying to reassure themselves that they can find the items again? Are they bored from inactivity and a lack of meaningful involvement with the daily household affairs? · What do they collect and where do they store them? Are the collected items perishable? Are they valuable? By knowing the types of items that the patient likes to collect and where they stash them, you can better decide your next steps. · Reduce the number of drawers and wardrobes that the patient uses. Label drawers to clearly show what’s inside. You can write “socks,” “underwear,” etc. on sticky notes, then attach the notes to drawers. Or, you can affix pictures to drawers, indicating their contents. · Make life easy for the patient. Use a large plastic basket for the collected items so the patient can easily find them in one place and pack them again when finished. · If a particular type of hoarding does not pose a hazard, let it be. But, if the hoarding creates risks, such as food that spoils or clutter that presents a fall hazard, find ways to remove the risk. · Avoid removing or discarding hoarded items as this may add to the patient’s anxiety. Find other ways to remove any risks. For example, if hoarded food has spoiled, replace it with fresh food. · The patient may agree to donate some of the items to charity. Take this opportunity to quickly remove those items from view. If the patient finds them again, they’ll likely hoard them again. · When going shopping, plan ahead to avoid situations where the patient can re-purchase items they have just discarded. If they come across the same items, they will likely buy them again. · Do not try to persuade the patient to give up hoarding. They cannot follow your reasoning. Even if you could convince them, they would forget it a few moments later. · Try to channel their energy to more productive activities like helping to set the dinner table, making salad, and folding laundry.
Will you please stop with plugging your book with long-winded excerpts from it that make little or no sense?
Here's the easy solution for an elder with dementia that is hoarding food.
If they live with you, there will be no food outside of the kitchen and/or dining room. If this means locks on the refridgerator and cabinets, then that is what you do.
If they are still living in their own home and are hoarding food in other rooms, they should not be living alone anymore.
If a person with dementia is living in a hoard, you remove them from the hoard for their own health and safety. What you do not do is continue to allow a person with dementia to make decisions any more important than what they want for lunch or what they're going to wear for the day. This may mean going to court and getting conservatorship over them. It may mean literally taking the tires off of their car (I've known a few folks who had to do this) so they can't drive and endanger themselves and others. Sometimes it means calling APS on a "loved one" and asking the police to do wellness checks (the cops get APS over quick if they need to) on them.
All of these things you're suggesting don't apply to a person with dementia. Hoarding is a mental illness yes, but when you're dealing with a younger person who is not handicapped and does not have Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia, you can walk away and let them live any way they want. If it gets too bad neighbors will call the city or towns they live in and they will force them to get it cleaned up or they condemn the property and hoarder is on the street.
Not when it's a child or a vulnerable adult (an elder with dementia, an intellectually disabled person, or a physically disabled person). When there's hoarding involving people in these groups, you have to go ahead and get it done without their permission.
You don't know much about hoarding disorder. There is no such thing as a hoard that does not pose a hazard. Every hoard is dangerous. It doesn't have to be danger from vermin and filth or rotting food. It can be an "organized" hoard but poses a fall risk and a fire hazard. ALL hoarding poses a hazard and a threat to anyone's health and safety if they're living in one.
May I ask a question. Is your book self-published? I can't see how any publishing house would spend a dime publishing this book.
Wow. I see a lot of answers here focused on locking up the food supply and denying her access. I feel that would only make her feel more anxious. Is her habit causing harm? Are you worried about an unsanitary environment in her room? If it's not causing any real harm, I would overlook it for now. You are already aware, so you can keep an eye on her and make sure her room is safe and clean. Perhaps you can provide a shelf space in her room, and let her know that is for her to store whatever she wants. Maybe even a mini fridge, stocked with some of her favorite snacks and drinks.
As others have mentioned, this will pass. She will begin a new unusual behavior. Don't try reasoning or arguing with her. It will only confuse her more. Just go along as best you can.
My MIL gets in the refrigerator at night. The problem is that she does not close the door properly and it stays open all night. She has also gained 30 pounds!
My dad hid food in drawers, in his pockets, in and under his bed, also threw food out the door and window into the yard when he had dementia. In his case, I suspect he was hiding food mostly because he did NOT want to eat it. He did the same with pills. He also might have been hiding what he DID want to eat (candy and ice cream) so others would not take it from him or criticize him. He also just plain forgot where he put it or would do stuff like eat strawberry ice cream, but spit the bits of strawberry on the floor, the table, or on his bed, wherever he happened to be, then it was like they didn’t exist as far as he was concerned. My mom was not willing to monitor him while he ate.
He would also open food containers, like packages of cookies, and just leave them in the cabinet, ripped open. (So yes, risk of mice and roaches).
We just had to clean it up. It sucks. Like everything about dementia.
I think that the best thing to do is to place your mum into care. That's what I expect my daughter to do for me when I'm no longer able to reason well enough to look after myself properly. I say "when" because my mum and many of her siblings were all affected by dementia, so I think it's fairly likely.
Put childproof locks on the drawers and cabinets and refrigerator. Clean out her place on a regular basis. Offer her snacks between meals - maybe she feels hungry and is afraid that her nutritional needs/wants won't be met.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
And then you start learning all you can about this horrific disease of dementia so you will be better prepared for what lies ahead.
Some people padlock the frig and pantry. Seems a bit extreme. I guess it depends on whether she is taking a big ham or a crust of bread. You could limit the places you store the type food items she is attracted to.
Cameras might be helpful to spend less time looking for it. Those could be placed in her room, in the kitchen or dining area. You might detect a pattern.
Fewer hiding places in her room might be helpful. But it seems you already know where to look.
Or you might give her a large ziplock for her drawer and ask her to put what she needs in the ziplock. You could even hand the bag to her at the table to put anything she wants in it.
Know that this behavior will pass. She will start doing something else that her mental condition compels her to do.
Best to manage your own anxiety about her losses or they can overwhelm you. I’m sorry that you and mom are dealing with this no win situation.
If she's living alone, she should not be.
It is not visible on the outside of your cabinet doors and has very strong magnets.
Comfort: Food can provide comfort, and having a stash nearby may make them feel more at ease.
Restrictions- maybe she feels her food and independence has been restricted and she has no control
rather than reprimanding her - maybe the route is to work with her - unless it’s cognitive decline then it’s a defence reaction. Maybe put a bowl and ask her wot she’d like in her treat bowl sk it’s out in the open
if you see it just put it back where it’s supposed to be
maybe she’s still hungry
ask her friendly if she feels hungry later and you can work on some nice healthy treats to be left for her
sone times caring for people we lose touch with feelings caught up in chores and obligations
think of her like a five year old you are looking after - is she hungry/why is she feeling the need for comfort
if lost speak to her doctor
that’s prob the best option for them to advise - I’m sure they s seen this many times over
best wishes for a speedy resolution
No food in the bedroom, period. Crumbs or wrappers or any kind of food is going to attract rodents, ants, moths, etc... if it's stuffed in a drawer, the closet, or under the bed.
No food in bed. Not only is that nasty and gross, it will attract unwanted visitors to the home.
I think, sadly, there needs to be lots more supervision now. Anywhere with food stuffs is going to have to have special locks. Easy enough with drawers and cabinets but the refrigerator is something else again. And quite honestly this is hard to monitor if your mom is quietly sneaking the end of that steak in her napkin, to take to eat later. And then forgets about it.
I can't imagine anything you can do other than vigilant reminders and monitoring. But I do have a funny story to lighten your day a bit:
When my brother's car crash occurred, we had to leave SF emergently to fly to Palm Springs where we were for a week. Left the heat on too high. But worse, I left a drawer in my tiny "room of one's own", where typically I read, full of six new boxes of Good N Plenty candies. (Back when I ate them; I've switched to Red Hots).
Periodically in this 1870s built old Italianate we will get a mouse or two to deal with. Usually in the winter, and this was February. It's usually not tough once we find the new ingress and address it, and use the humane traps to get them. But this time we were gone for a week.
Came home to a very warm house, and to the boxes accessed, the candy coating nibbled off, the licorice eaten, and a very dead mouse at the bottom of the stairs.
My sad mouse story and I am sticking to it.
The following is what I wrote in my recent book "Dementia Care Companion",
Hoarding is most commonly seen in Alzheimer’s disease, frontotemporal dementia, and Lewy body dementia. Around 23 percent of dementia patients develop hoarding behavior, typically in the early and middle stages of their illness.
Patients hoard all kinds of stuff. They collect, organize, fold and package them, put them away in nooks and crannies, and then spend many busy hours searching in various drawers, cabinets, and wardrobes to rediscover and unpack the items, only to repackage and store them again.
Hoarding typically occurs in tandem with obsessive-compulsive behavior, overeating, and pilfering. What all these behaviors have in common is an underlying sense of anxiety, impairment in impulse control, and memory loss. The patient is trying to get a grip on a life that is increasingly out of their control, with a mind that is no longer able to hold on.
Hoarding is also seen in some older individuals who do not have dementia. Hoarding in older individuals may be a precursor to dementia and a warning sign.
How to Handle Hoarding
Although hoarding can be challenging for the caregiver, it does not help to get angry or scold the patient. Patience, creativity, and humor are better ways of handling all kinds of behavioral problems, and hoarding is no exception.
· Find out what drives the hoarding behavior and try to remove the cause. Is the patient worried that their stuff may get lost or stolen? When they spread, repackage, and store items, are they trying to reassure themselves that they can find the items again? Are they bored from inactivity and a lack of meaningful involvement with the daily household affairs?
· What do they collect and where do they store them? Are the collected items perishable? Are they valuable? By knowing the types of items that the patient likes to collect and where they stash them, you can better decide your next steps.
· Reduce the number of drawers and wardrobes that the patient uses. Label drawers to clearly show what’s inside. You can write “socks,” “underwear,” etc. on sticky notes, then attach the notes to drawers. Or, you can affix pictures to drawers, indicating their contents.
· Make life easy for the patient. Use a large plastic basket for the collected items so the patient can easily find them in one place and pack them again when finished.
· If a particular type of hoarding does not pose a hazard, let it be. But, if the hoarding creates risks, such as food that spoils or clutter that presents a fall hazard, find ways to remove the risk.
· Avoid removing or discarding hoarded items as this may add to the patient’s anxiety. Find other ways to remove any risks. For example, if hoarded food has spoiled, replace it with fresh food.
· The patient may agree to donate some of the items to charity. Take this opportunity to quickly remove those items from view. If the patient finds them again, they’ll likely hoard them again.
· When going shopping, plan ahead to avoid situations where the patient can re-purchase items they have just discarded. If they come across the same items, they will likely buy them again.
· Do not try to persuade the patient to give up hoarding. They cannot follow your reasoning. Even if you could convince them, they would forget it a few moments later.
· Try to channel their energy to more productive activities like helping to set the dinner table, making salad, and folding laundry.
Will you please stop with plugging your book with long-winded excerpts from it that make little or no sense?
Here's the easy solution for an elder with dementia that is hoarding food.
If they live with you, there will be no food outside of the kitchen and/or dining room. If this means locks on the refridgerator and cabinets, then that is what you do.
If they are still living in their own home and are hoarding food in other rooms, they should not be living alone anymore.
If a person with dementia is living in a hoard, you remove them from the hoard for their own health and safety. What you do not do is continue to allow a person with dementia to make decisions any more important than what they want for lunch or what they're going to wear for the day. This may mean going to court and getting conservatorship over them. It may mean literally taking the tires off of their car (I've known a few folks who had to do this) so they can't drive and endanger themselves and others. Sometimes it means calling APS on a "loved one" and asking the police to do wellness checks (the cops get APS over quick if they need to) on them.
All of these things you're suggesting don't apply to a person with dementia. Hoarding is a mental illness yes, but when you're dealing with a younger person who is not handicapped and does not have Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia, you can walk away and let them live any way they want. If it gets too bad neighbors will call the city or towns they live in and they will force them to get it cleaned up or they condemn the property and hoarder is on the street.
Not when it's a child or a vulnerable adult (an elder with dementia, an intellectually disabled person, or a physically disabled person). When there's hoarding involving people in these groups, you have to go ahead and get it done without their permission.
You don't know much about hoarding disorder. There is no such thing as a hoard that does not pose a hazard. Every hoard is dangerous. It doesn't have to be danger from vermin and filth or rotting food. It can be an "organized" hoard but poses a fall risk and a fire hazard. ALL hoarding poses a hazard and a threat to anyone's health and safety if they're living in one.
May I ask a question. Is your book self-published? I can't see how any publishing house would spend a dime publishing this book.
This is not an uncommon behavior for a person with dementia.
Gena / Touch Matters
Is her habit causing harm? Are you worried about an unsanitary environment in her room?
If it's not causing any real harm, I would overlook it for now. You are already aware, so you can keep an eye on her and make sure her room is safe and clean.
Perhaps you can provide a shelf space in her room, and let her know that is for her to store whatever she wants. Maybe even a mini fridge, stocked with some of her favorite snacks and drinks.
As others have mentioned, this will pass. She will begin a new unusual behavior. Don't try reasoning or arguing with her. It will only confuse her more.
Just go along as best you can.
He would also open food containers, like packages of cookies, and just leave them in the cabinet, ripped open. (So yes, risk of mice and roaches).
We just had to clean it up. It sucks. Like everything about dementia.
I say "when" because my mum and many of her siblings were all affected by dementia, so I think it's fairly likely.