Even when my husband is showing signs of needing to toilet, at times he doesn't know what to do when I try to have him stand in front of the toilet. Also hard to convince him to sit down on the toilet when that is necessary. Many times he will attempt to go outdoors to relieve himself. He seems to prefer squatting outside. Not a good thing for sure. Fortunately we do live in the country. How do I convince him to just pee in the toilet he's standing by.
The other option might be to buy a ‘squatty pottee’. He can squat on that in the toilet enclosure, and you can pour the result down the pan. Squattee pottees are recommended for people with trouble passing solids, but might work for him anyway.
My husband is now sometimes confused if I ask if he needs to use or go to the bathroom. And of course if I say it once we are in the bathroom... that question makes no sense! He does not always understand the words... pee, urinate, BM or bowel movements. Then he does not always understand if I ask him if he is through, done or finished. One day I asked "are you through" and he said, no I'm Bill! It fascinates me how the English language has so many phrases and words that can take on different meanings once a person has dementia.
A friend said her husband told her on several occasions that he had never done "that" before.
It is sad to see the struggles increase and I have often wondered what may be ahead when bathroom communication becomes even harder. He is incontinent off and on but as long as he recognizes the urge I will just keep trying to be patient while trying to find new ways to avoid puddles or messes on the floor.
My condolences on all of this, it's an awful lot.
My husband had similar issues with toileting-- he didn't want to sit (ordinarily he did, even just for pee) and later on, didn't recognize what the toilet was, or thought his rollator was the toilet-- none of it made sense. And it wasn't always the same.
When he *did* sit, he wouldn't let me touch his privates, to ensure he was tucked properly. Consequently, I had to bleach-mop several times a day! Also, he would forget to wipe after bowel movements, oh what a mess. Laundry without end...
Disposable underwear are great, if hubby will use them. Don't know how to keep him indoors though.
Was your husband a hunter? Maybe you could rig up an outdoor camp-style latrine with privacy curtain & seat for him?
Sorry you're facing this!
And yes that may mean that you walk him into the bathroom every single time and help him to sit on the toilet and make sure that his penis is tucked in properly.
Over time he will hopefully get used to the new routine.
Personally, I would have a decent size hole for burying.
You just can not reason with dementia, not a hill I would choose to die on, beats changing depends hands down.