I’m her medical & legal POA. My step dad was not taking care of her. She isn’t able to take care of herself at all. He is upset that I’ve put her in an assisted living facility and is trying to get a lawyer to override me and remove her from the facility. Can he legally do this?
At this point, I don't think he can do anything. But I would inform the AL that he is not to take her out of the building. If he visits and upsets Mom, I would even have him banned. Guardianship is expensive, can he afford that? I wouldn't go in that direction unless he files. Then you can contest it by saying Mom does not want to live with him.
You can always consult with a lawyer. Some its free.
This kind of "evidence" could also help mitigate any attempts he might make at guardianship, which I don't really think he could get though, in part b/c he hasn't demonstrated "capacity" to manage her affairs.
That raises another issue: you're funding her care; is there any chance he could get access to those funds, or are they yours specifically and not your mother's? That could be another provision in a TRO, i.e., preventing him from access to her funds.
I also support Alva's idea of discussing the issue with the ALF admins; they may have insight to add, especially if he's visited Mom, been disruptive, etc.
That reason is to seek injunctive relief to prevent him from intervening. An attorney would have to handle this; it's not a DIY job unless you have experience in law. An elder law with litigation experience should handle this; it's well beyond preparation of estate planning documents and demands specific litigation experience.
Make lists of everything he's done that's harmful, and what he hasn't done to take care of her. Address why you've chosen AL, how your mother feels about it, and what her condition is there (i.e., she's safe, pleased with the facility, etc.). The point is to demonstrate that you've taken appropriate action, not only as a daughter but as legal proxy pursuant to POAs.
An attorney could seek an immediate TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) that would be served by a process server or law enforcement (definitely not family) on your stepfather, to prevent him from interfering in the placement you've arranged. It could also seek to prevent him from any contact with her as well.
If you have witnesses who can attest to your mother's desire to avoid him, that would be very helpful to support your case.
After the TRO is served, a hearing would be held to review the facts, and permanent injunctive relief could be ordered.
I appreciate your input so much. Please keep us in your prayers.
What does mom want?