My elderly parents have two to three doctor's appointments each week, and I am in it alone, (my sister won't help), but I have neglected my own health, not by eating habits, but by not going to the doctor myself. I believe it is partly because I am exhausted being in doctor's offices so much, and if I did go for a check-up, and something was wrong it could be so time consuming, to do my parents appointments and my own. I think caregiving is a lot harder nowadays, because there are so many types of doctor's, (specialists for every problem), and it can be overwhelming. Has anyone else experienced my problem, where they put their own health on the back burner to help their parents?
Your note really took me back. With multiple elders to care for, sometimes I felt like I lived in doctor's offices. I couldn't stand the thought of going myself. I skipped mammograms, among other things. That's really bad and I caution people about this. I hope to let people know that upward of 30% of caregivers die before their care recipient. That isn't just elderly caregivers. It's younger women who don't get breast cancer diagnosed in early stages, or colon cancer or other health issues.
I know firsthand how hard it is to follow up on your own health, but please make you health a priority. It could save your life.
Do know, however, that many of us understand. We have been where you are (many still are in your shoes). It's very difficult.
Take care of yourself, please,
Carol
The one thing I always try to do for myself is take a walk every morning. When my Mom is in the hospital she expects me at her bedside every minute. One day I arrived about 9 after taking a morning walk. She was furious with me. As I stormed out her doctor was coming in. Her wonderful doctor gave her a lecture about how I need to take care of my health. I need to get exercise every day.
Things have calmed down since then. I only get snide remarks, not knock down drag out fights.
Amen to that. If you have a self centered, narcissictic family member, or even an ill senior with many health conditions, your own health will suffer unless you take steps to put yourself first sometimes, and look after your health.
Stephan, you raise an important point when you mention worrying about what you will do when the caretaking is over. It is so important to maintain a sense of "self" throughout any caregiving phase of life, whether it is with little chldren, or with sick, or disabled adults. In both cases, you can be consumed to the point of not knowing who you are any more. Start by seeing if you can set aside a little time for you to examine goals for your life. I know that can be easier said than done, but work on it - even while you are out wheeling the chair. Sometimes we get so tied up in the life of another person that we forget who we are, and need to rediscover ourselves.(((((((hugs)))) Joan
Now I'm eating healthier (hard) no sugar, caffine, fried food, flour, soda, alcohol. Pretty much bland diet (do cheat at times).
You have to take care of you because no matter how healthy you are the STRESS from caregiving will bring you down. Please take care of yourselves!!-
I respect how hard it is, but in the long run, you're doing everyone a favor when you take care of yourself. Even if you have to hire a sitter for your parents, please don't neglect your own physical health. Good luck!
There was a time period when I did not do the medical/dental checkups. I finally went to the clinic for severe pain in my lower stomach. When done with my appointment, I had one of my "dizzy spells" and slammed against the wall. Doc was shocked and rushed me back to the exam table. My heart sounded really bad - from a scale of 1 to 7 and 7 being really bad, my heart was a 6. It seems I had an infection in my heart, ordered home and home care with daily IV antibiotic for 6 weeks. This was 6 years ago.
I don't want to end up like my parents - bedridden. You can just keep it simple. Annual physical/medical check-up with the regular blood tests and pap and mammo.
Sorry...my eyes are blurring and I'm finding it difficult to think. It's time for me to go sleep..now. Later!!
made a big mess for ne to clean up! My mother would fall to get attention and after 3 years if picking 200 pounds of dead weight off the floor I now have chronic shoulder problems. One of my uncles finally took my aunt but my mom was even needier after that. It took my oldest daughter trying to run away because of all this to wake us up. Mom is now in a personal care home and my own family comes first now. Her appointments come after the kids' and mine. For various reasons I have had to homeschool my girls (oldest in now in public high school) and although it is a constant battle nothing us allowed to interfere with school work. I admit that my mother doesn't get to all the doctor's appointments she wants - it is a struggle to get to the most necessary ones but I have 2 girls who need their mom and I need to be here for them. When mom complains I always remind her that if anything happens to me there will be no one to help her. Our parents have had their chance to raise their families and as much as we may love them and/or feel obligated it is now our turn. Our kids need us more than our parents do. Their lives are just beginning and they need our attention and guidance to thrive. It has been a hard lesson for me to learn and I finally started therapy to get things back on track. I really regret the things I
missed with my kids when I was trying to do everything and I am paying the price with various behavioral problems with the girls.
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