Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
IMHO, I believe that it's okay to employ this tactic whenever deemed necessary (i.e. - the truth being too painful for the elder with dementia).
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I always tell my Mom the truth. Some of the things I've said were: Yes, her family is all gone....she is the last one. No, she can't go back home because home isn't there anymore. It was knocked down. No, Dad died in 1984. As the months passed, Mom would say....Oh, yes, you told me that. She now can remember that I told her even tho she forgets initially. I was raised to never lie. And I believe that when we tell one lie, we invariably tell another and another, just to cover our tracks. For us, being honest and up front works. In the long run it's easier.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
worriedinCali Mar 2020
Congratulations on repeatedly hurting your mother and making her repeatedly go through grief! Smdh. A martyr you are not!
(6)
Report
See 3 more replies
It's okay to "learn how to love and learn how to lie" as Neil Diamond's "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore" puts it. I sympathize with the natural revulsion you feel towards it and I feel the same. It'll get easier as you practice lying and I didn't ever think I'd say that to anyone, but I do now.

It's tougher when the outside world lies to your LO, as what happened yesterday when Spouse answered the phone to a scam "alert" of "your electricity will be turned off in 30 minutes because you've not paid the bill CALL THIS NUMBER NOW!!" and he asked me to call it. The bill is paid up and there's a reason why I 95 percent of the time answer the landline phone.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
GAinPA Mar 2020
Maybe turn the ringer off? Set phone to minimum rings before going to voicemail. Only pick up when you recognize the phone number; unknowns can always leave a message.

My wrist tracker vibrates when I get an email, maybe they have a type of wrist band that vibrates for telephone calls?
(1)
Report
See 2 more replies
When FIL started asking questions about MIL and his parents we asked him where he thought they were and then we could check in on them for him.  During some of this conversations we go a look into his early life and places he had been.  He was always worried about finding a job when he got better and where he would live.  As long as we assured him we would help him find both but only after the Dr said it was ok he was happy.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
disgustedtoo Mar 2020
Great use of redirection, and ooo, you used some fibbing there! No harm, no foul, just what serves the situation best!
(1)
Report
Yes it is called therapeutic fibbing. Beneficial when the truth will cause pain or stress. We should never let our loved one relive death or any painful event repeatedly because they cannot remember.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter