Sibling has POA, won’t get mother tested for level. Mother when younger adamant wouldn’t go to nursing home and frequently says so now. My brother & I feel she should go but have no control. Sibling & son are suppose to be caring for parent but often don’t. We have no idea what can be done, we are worried big time.
POA is a tool and mostly a financial one. They don't have to do the physical care, they can hire someone with the principles money. Maybe a good thing would be to get Office of Aging or Adult Protection Services in to evaluate Moms situation. There are resourses for the blind. Hearing aides and devices. She may be able to get an aide.
After my father (95) went into SNF my mother (95) was living alone and she is deaf with mobility issues. She refused to consider any alternative other than dying in her house. She had aides coming in 8 hours a day but it was not enough. So we had to wait for the next crisis, which came in August when she was hospitalized for Covid. We were fortunate to be able to transfer her to the SNF where my father is. Not a perfect situation but it is better than the stress of wondering what's going on with mother when I'm not there. I had spent every other month with her. Not the greatest arrangement but it was what I could offer.
I think you are going to have wait for the hospitalization crisis which will happen soon. Then your mother, you siblings and you will have decisions to make.
How big are your concerns?
Milder concerns eg about socialisation & activity?
Medium concerns over 'aging in place' & how this will progress?
Or very large concerns over risks that carry high danger?
My High Risk List has any of;
Falls
Fears - sundowning or wandering from home looking for 'home'
Fire - poor mobility to get out, unsafe cooking
Fraud - poor decision making leading to being taken advantage of
It can happen that some family members take a nothing to see here approach.. "it's fine, it's fine, all good, no probs" whereas others see risks.
There can also be very different values behind people's vision. Eg different ideas about HOME.
Let's keep Mom at home as long as possible VS let's get more company & care.
Do you live local to Mom? Are you able to visit & see how things are yourself? Or are you relying on phones calls to deflective relatives & a hard of hearing elder to gauge how things are?
Best out to you. I wish your Mom a peaceful passing in her own home with family if that is sustainable at all. Good luck.