I am 29, I have autism and social anxiety, and from the time I was about 19, until just last year I took care of my mother. She is currently 78. She is diabetic, takes several medications, and had a stroke about 3 years ago but still walks/speaks fairly well there were no long term effects. My aunt has been taking care of her for the past year. My aunt has now decided she is not capable of caring for my mother. I am not capable. We cannot afford a nursing home. What can I do?
I agree with the other posters that we'd need more information about why your mom needs help. However, eventually, she will. As Jeannegibbs suggested, have social services come out and do an evaluation. Be up front about your own situation since the stress of caring for your mom could set you back to where you can barely care for yourself. I believe that your whole family needs to be on record as needing services.
Please check back with us when you can. I'm worried about how you are doing with so much stress.
Carol
I'm reading your post a couple of times and wondering why your mom needs someone to take care of her? Does she live with you or you with her? Does she own her home? At 78 with no assets she would qualify for Medicaid and Medicaid would pay for the NH if her dr agrees that she needs to go to a NH. Does she have dementia? What services does she need to have provided? Give a little more information for a more detailed answer.
If your mom needs care, someone needs to arrange it. My first step would be to call suman services in Mom's county and ask for a needs assessment. Someone will come out to Mom's home and interview her. Be sure you or Aunt are there at that time. Elders often are not very realistic in these interviews. They claim they can make dinner, for example, when they can no longer even use the microwave.
Once you have such an assessment done, Social Services will be able to help you determine the next step. It will probably be to apply for Medicaid.
Elder Affairs should be part of children and families.
CAL-MED SHOULD HELP YOU