My mother has been in a facility since last fall. It has recently become apparent to me that she gets no hands on care at all. The last time she was showered by staff was in March. I have been bathing her or cleaning her up when I visit. Often when I come I find her in 4-5 pairs of filthy underwear. This is an issue I have discussed with aids, the charge nurse, social worker, and director of nursing since December. The nurses and social worker yell at me claiming I "know" my mom is "resistant to care." The aids say she doesn't want too and they legally cannot force her to or they could get "30 years in jail." I try to reason with these people. I've even threatened to call the dept of heath, but NOTHING makes any difference. I have not reported this already because I was afraid of repercussions. I like the fact that my mother has a private room. That makes a big difference in her happiness, but I've gotten to the point where even if we have to leave, this is unacceptable, though I am afraid of where she might end up, going from the frying pan into the fire. Some dementia units aren't fit for a dog.
Has anyone done this? Can you share your experience? The low lives at my mom's facility are bullies and they cover for each other. I wouldn't be surprised if they falsified the records because when I asked to see my mother's bathing records back in February, they started acting weird and would not show them to me.