My sister is the first on my moms POA, then me, then my brother. My sister went on a vacation and did not let anyone know. Should she had let the facility know she is gone and to call me being I am next on the POA? For me it is just being considerate. What are your thoughts? thank you!
I was just curious to see what others thought and I appreciate everyone's thoughts!
Usually the POA only moves to the second agent in line when and if the original POA agent is seriously ill and is unable to perform as POA.... or finds him/herself no longer wanting to be POA.
Well. Clearly she let *someone* know. Or else - how do you know?
I think the reason there is some resistance to replying...
"of course, as a matter of courtesy, one keeps both the facility and one's deputy informed on at least a 'need to know' basis"
... is that there doesn't in fact seem to have been a problem? And therefore, other than correcting your sister's slight lapse in manners, is this anything you actually need to pursue?
I suspect your sister didn't want to confuse the staff where your Mom lives with further directions regarding who to call. Believe me, adding special notes and phone numbers to your Mom's chart would just muddy the waters of your Mom's care.
I suspect your sister expected this to happen.
1. Mom falls, they call her as they alway do.
2. She tells them she is away.
3. She calls you and asks if you'd be able to look in on Mom because she is not able to.
Since she is the primary POA, it is unlikely she meant any harm in not telling anyone. The nursing staff at most facilities are already overworked. Adding additional, temporary information to your Mom's chart would just cause confusion. Confusion in a time of emergency is not what your Mom needs. It sounds like your sister did exactly what was best for your Mom.
We learned that giving mom's NH " too much information" confused them. Keeping it simple ( one person for them to call) always made better sense. If my POA brother was away, I called more often to check in with the nurses.
If she got a call from the facility and Mother needed some attention she could direct them to the appropriate person to call.
My mom's nursing home had a list of her children, in order of preference for calling. If the first on the list couldn't be reached, they called the second, etc. Does the facility your mom is in have a list?
The way our parents POA are set up is that Me for Mum, Db for Dad are POA with the other as a second if we are unable to act, as in we are incapacitated. I would not take over re Dad, nor would DB take over for Mum, just because one of us was on holiday. We are still available while on vacation, by phone or email.
I will be away for the month of May, but still reachable by phone and email, not need for DB to step in.
We each have heath care and fiscal POA.