my sister as the POA, that will create thousands of dollars in legal fees for me. Why? Because, my sisters are 10 plus years older than I am, they have houses paid for, I don't . the one large asset my father is splitting with us, unless he is lying big time is the house, he and my mother own. They do not live there because they cannot. They are too ill. She is far worse off than he, and not of right ming "alzheimer's" The house is about a $350,000 or more asset to me. That cash, would pay my house off, and make my life, so I am not care giving for 82 hours a week. I do this because I have to. My husband got really sick, and tonight, the reality is this. If I do not have some sort of income, I will be working 80 hours a week for a year or so. I am 54, and who can keep up that schedule?
My sisters do not invite me to anything, they are big babies, and my father has never stuck up for me. In private of course, I feel sorry for you and am proud of you, but when push comes to shove and I say dad, what do you thing of making your real estate;
I realize that regardless, I am stating that when my parents die, I am wanting to sell my 1/3 portion of a house that is out in the middle of nowhere, but why would I want to have 1/3 share. If I was in a better financial shape yes, but I know my POA sister who won't even call me, and lives less than a mile from me is pathetic and sick.
I need advice of any kind.
I know i am banking on my parents money, but I have tried to talk to my father, and he states, that is not my problem. I feel for 20 years he has been a real cop out on this.
Right now, both sisters are taking money left and right and because my parents are not dead, I cannot find out a thing legally. My dad told me once just get along,
Thanks for your help.
I LOVE MY CAREGIVING JOBS
Personally, I think selling the house would be a good idea and putting the money in the bank rather than paying for upkeep, but that money still probably mainly needs to be help for your parents' care with the remainder going to you and your siblings.
However, if you are desperate for money, I think my accountant told me that parents can gift up to $10,000/year without tax penalty. I don't know that that would cause an issue with the nursing homes, but I would ask an accountant about that and see if your siblings might be willing to distribute that much and also if they think that much would cause issues with your parents' savings.
The reason that I am working 80 hours is because my husband had a heart attack, and we have lost his income to live on. Eventually, we are going to sell our house, but I am very financially smart, and don;t want to jump before it is the right situation.
Do not judge until you really know the entire situation, that is why I am trying to make sure you all know. I am a financial planner. We lost $4,000 per month in income, and there is no way with care giving I can make that up, and 80 is just temporary. Clearly no one could do that and not go nuts.
Second, I do not understand how which one of you has POA as any impact on what you will inherit. How will having a sister with POA create legal fees for you? I hope you will explain this a little more, because it seems to be the heart of the issue and we could address it better if we understood it.
Therefore, before all this happened, she was named the POA, which was fine when she was communicating with both of us. She is not. At All. She clearly stated, she is keeping the house that mom and dad have regardless of off it sits empty.
It is highly unadvisable to have a POA that does not have good communication skills with those that will need to be part of the solution in getting things done.
AGAIN, I am a bit frustrated that I cannot make a statement, or let me rephrase, I feel like when I make a statement about my parents house, you all feel as if I am sitting here waiting for that. Let me tell you what I think about wills. I expect nothing in life, nothing is ever handed to a person, and anything given is a bonus.
The reason for the attorney's is because every attorney I have talked too has stated that it is almost impossible to have a POA that has NO COMMUNICATION, and there are things I can do in the court to get information out of her. i.e. she has made it known, she is not going to share public information with us.
But, please people, I am an adult, and obviously there are many adults out there living off of someone else's money. My parents lived with me, and I paid the entire cost and quit my job and took care of them for zero because they are my parents. I paid for their food, because they took care of me when I was a baby, and it is obvious that there must be greedy people that all they want is there parents money. NO NO NO, forget all of it. my gosh you don't think I am trying in the last 2 weeks to come up with a totally different financial plan???? Of course, and NONE has to do with my parents EVER. I have never taken a penny from my parents. They raised me to work and work hard. That is what I have done since I had graduated for college. So please will everyone get OUT OF THEIR head that I am banking on some kind of money from my parents.
I just say this. If/When my parents whom I adore pass on, it would be ashamed to hold onto a house that is two hours away and has sat empty for the last two years. If I were POA, we could have rented that to create income for my dad to help with expenses he has. I say he has, because I haven't even mentioned my mother whom is in a living facility for Alzheimer's.
Thank you and I hope all has been understood. I AM NOT A MONEY HUNGER, NOR DO I NEED FINANCIAL ADVICE, MY HUSBAND just died, and you write things just to see the answers. I appreciate one person whom will read this.
Even if she communicated brilliantly with you and your other sister, even if she listened carefully to your input, she would still have the final responsibility. She could still let the house sit empty (assuming your father doesn't have other wishes).
It sounds like you suggested to your father that he change POA, and he decided not to. That is his right.
So what is it you want advice about? We can't tell you how to transform your sister into the kind of person you'd like her to be, and we can't tell you how to convince your dad to change behavior it sounds like he's been exhibiting for many years. What kind of advice are you looking for?
And I am sorry that you apparently feel attacked by us posters. We can only react to what you tell us.
So you are a professional financial planner, and you are "moonlighting" as a 40-hours-per week caregiver because you need the money? And you were doing this for a couple of weeks before your husband died, and have continued to do it since? You must be so stressed and upset. No wonder your sisters' behavior and excluding you from their social lives, etc. is especially upsetting to you at this time.
Give yourself a break in trying to work this all out. Deal with your grief. I was advised not to make any drastic or permanent decisions for many months -- a year if possible -- after my husband died. I think that is good advice.
Please accept my condolences.
In this case the owner of the house is still living, and it is not yet an inheritance.
In my case, my mother really needed some help and asked me to do it. Our agreement is that, for now, she does everything she is capable of, but that I help, but some day will probably do more. For example, she can't balance her bank book without help nor write the checks for her bills and I help her, but I don't just do it for her. It occurred to me that it would save me time to do it for her, but I want to keep her independent and proud as much as I can and I don't want to appear to just be taking over. Not every POA takes this view of it and I think there really is concern where siblings hate each other that the POA probably really could find ways to abuse it.
Secondly, I asked this question not for me, for my father. My father has worked hard, and I am the youngest daughter and there is much in between the lines, but the one thing he worked hard more is to make sure his daughter(s) have had a happy upbringing and life. That is important to him. I believe it is important to acknowledge him and tell him how much I appreciate all that he has done. I have realized on this website I should have not asked a few too personal questions.
The reason I will need an attorney and I cannot forget it is because
You are the people that will go somewhere in this world. I don't do well with bitter people.
Try again for another day.
As for the POA, you could go to court and challenge the appointment, but be fairly advised, where siblings cannot agree on a POA, the Judge will appoint an independent guardian that neither of you may want.
Again, POA ends at death, and the Executor takes over and must follow the instructions in the Will. With a large amount of assets, you go to Surrogate's Court for "Probate". A second battle will likely ensue, and again, the Judge appoints an impartial third party for the Probate.