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Caregiving is hard work and 80 hours a week is too much. But as others have said, it does sound like you need to 1. Talk to an accountant or attorney and 2. Create an income plan that has nothing to do with your parents or their house.
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Thanks, pstegman. One point I want to make to those people who ask questions that are financially-based is that they should always check with an accountant for tax issues, a lawyer for legal issues, and don't forget to check with all benefit agencies for their rules, too (the example in this discussion would be Medicare/Medicaid). It is quite complicated to figure out and some of the issues vary from state-to-state.
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At this point discussing your sister being Power of Attorney isn't going to solve. Anything. If he has dementia, he can't change his Will or Trust because he is considered incompetent. I'm sorry you are having financial issues, but you can't count on any monies from the house until after he is gone. He made that choice for a reason, and now it it too late to do anything. I'm the Power of Attorney for my Mom, and my brother is extremely angry about it and we ended up in Court and now don't speak. But who do you think will be at the front door with his hand out the minute she passes on asking for his portion of the trust? After reading the stories on here (and my own situation), nothing surprises me anymore.
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Geo, No they can't even gift things away. IRS would consider it a tax free gift, BUT Medicaid would consider it hiding assets and impose a $10K penalty.
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I'm with pstegman on this. Unless they have huge savings and other assets, you'll be surprised how much things can cost. I had an uncle who had a rare blood disease that cost something like $1,000 a dose (I really don't remember the exact figure or how often he had to take it), and you sometimes hear of expensive experimental surgeries. It can get more costly more quickly than you might realize.

Personally, I think selling the house would be a good idea and putting the money in the bank rather than paying for upkeep, but that money still probably mainly needs to be help for your parents' care with the remainder going to you and your siblings.

However, if you are desperate for money, I think my accountant told me that parents can gift up to $10,000/year without tax penalty. I don't know that that would cause an issue with the nursing homes, but I would ask an accountant about that and see if your siblings might be willing to distribute that much and also if they think that much would cause issues with your parents' savings.
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The cost of keeping two of them in a nursing home will add up quickly, and your sisters are correct in not selling the house. Homesteads are exempt assets, but if they are sold now, ALL the money has to pay for their care and cannot be divided or distributed in any way. The person who is POA cannot benefit financially from their position. You want to be POA and sell the house and take your 1/3, which in legal terms would be a "conflict of interest" and no judge in any court would allow that. Your father made the right choice by appointing someone who is not interested in profiting by their POA.
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the house's total value is over 1,150,000.00 plus other valuable things in the savings.
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