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Susie, Depends here on what you are saying? Is your mother in pain? Does she have fractured broken teeth or gum disease? To be honest, if she's competent it is her decision. Gum problems and infected pockets can cause sepsis and even death, but it's unlikely. And if she won't go it is her choice. If you however are her POA and there are problems it is suggested must be addressed, then you will have to work with a dentist or even oral surgeon who will consider some light sedation.
At 96 I wouldn't push what doesn't NEED to be done. But deciding need isn't always easy, so I will wish you both the best.
I am caring for my mother Betty, who is 97 years old, living in independent living with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, incontinence, mobility problems, osteoporosis, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection.
I vote to leave mom be. With all of the issues she has, dental work is not going to be possible, most likely.
With everything your 96 year old mother has going on with her health, it seems like dental care is the least of her/your worries. Let the poor woman alone and live out her days in peace.
My mom passed yesterday after 3 days in Hospice care. She was 85. She had not brushed her teeth for a year. She refused mouthwash. I couldn't get her to the dentist. The saying at the dentist is ... "you don't have to brush your teeth, only the ones you want to keep". My mom would just laugh. Her breath was deadly. And caregivers and I just asked her to swish her mouth with water (or whatever liquid she would drink after every meal. It helped. Her favorite soda was Zevia Cola - natural sugar not as bad as cane sugar, still not great, but... The last time she and I were at the dentist (about 8 months ago), he put on a liquid barrier of some kind that is supposed to last six months and stop or severely limit further tooth decay. She had been complaining of a tooth ache. My dad (88) and I went to the dentist for a chipped tooth and cleaning on Tuesday. Chipped teeth happen and at his stage (stroke in 2021 and left side of body doesn't work right) fixing teeth just isn't worth it even to the dentist though he gave the choices of crowns, and two lesser procedures where one was just applying this barrier I mentioned above. That is what we opted for. Now the love of his life for 62 years is gone. We each do what we can in the moment to get loved ones what is recommended to be healthy. As caregivers regardless of the relationship to our LO, we have to back off insisting on things. Our health has to come first and that means not stressing over what our LO will and will not do. We can watch for an opportune moment to float an idea and be elated when it comes out of their mouth as something they want. My dad brushes his teeth as part of his very regimented routine, so I know he is likely to allow someone else to brush when he isn't able anymore. Each one is different and we love them all. THANK YOU to ALL in this forum!
What dental care does she need? At 96, I think you can skip routine dental check ups.
If she has an infection, or pain, perhaps you can convince her that you can find a dentist which will sedate her for treatment which will make her feel better.
Otherwise, leave it alone. You can't make her do anything.
If she is not having any problems, don't worry about it. Just make sure she brushes morning and night, night expecially. Flossing if you can get her to do it. I floss 3x a week and get good exams. If it has been a while, maybe get her back for a good cleaning.
susieangus: You could poae your question to her DDS. However, with Alzheimer's at play, in all likelihood it wouldn't be a successful experience in the dental chair.
Have you tried coming at dental care from a fun or different point of view? Maybe she doesn't like the tooth brush or the burning taste of products or mint. Have you tried asking her if she would like to try other teeth cleaning products? Cloth finger brushes, miskwa sticks, sonic full teeth cleaners, water picks? Maybe as others have stated try to find something she enjoys rinsing with? By no means should you force her as it can lead to her refusing it more. She needs to be in control and the best way to let her be in control is to give her options and let her find what works best for her. There could be something she isn't telling reguarding why she is refusing and the best course of action is to try and gently find and cure the root cause of that unhealthy pattern. Good luck with finding a solution!
With supervision, perhaps let her chew gum; since increased saliva itself can help deter decay. If she likes apples, crunching on them, even cut up, is good for the teeth, too. There are many products now that don't burn, are good for teeth and breath/bacteria control. Even old fashioned baking soda is a good 'toothpaste', even swished and spit out because it neutralizes odors caused by bacteria. There are also those brush-like dental picks; if used gently they are like flossing but quick and easy; dislodging food particles helps prevent cavities. Best wishes; at her age she likely is just 'done' with all the fuss.
I'm 65 and back to using baking soda, whitens better. I used it when I was growing up...yuck! Now, I think the grittiness removes plaque better. Oh the days when my parents had us use Vaddimacome was intolerable!
I have the same problem. My mom has lost 2 of her front teeth! We bought her dentures , but she threw them away by accident. Many of her bottom teeth are also missing. We decided to let her forgo dental care. She won’t go to the dentist anymore! When she’s with me I insist that she brush her teeth and use mouthwash. Otherwise her breathbis so bad that I can’t stand it!
My moms 91 and very demented. I encourage teeth brushing..I doubt it gets done other times. When she refuses dental office visits or can not tolerate it I plan to not do routine visits…...just deal with emergencies.
I don't understand what your moms situation is. Is she in pain? Is she having difficulty eating? If so, it's pretty late in her life to have any kind of dental surgery as anesthesia could be a non-awakening problem. If she's not in pain,let it be. If she is, Ambesol gel(mint) can reduce the pain. My mother was going through tubes like it was candy but as long as she wasn't howling with pain, it was worth it. It's really tough at that age and with dementia/alzheimers to get any dental treatment. Hospice gave her something called "magic mouthwash" that she would swirl around and spit out. I think it was a prescription version of Ambesol/Ora-gel.
She will probably not allow people to brush her teeth. She might allow an Oral Pik - device that uses pressurized water to clean her teeth. If not, then opt for mouthwash, oral numbing agents, and ask staff to limit sweets (which cause most tooth decay). Eventually, she may lose all her teeth and then require a mechanical soft diet to eat - soft foods only. This is do-able in most facilities.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Depends here on what you are saying?
Is your mother in pain?
Does she have fractured broken teeth or gum disease?
To be honest, if she's competent it is her decision. Gum problems and infected pockets can cause sepsis and even death, but it's unlikely. And if she won't go it is her choice.
If you however are her POA and there are problems it is suggested must be addressed, then you will have to work with a dentist or even oral surgeon who will consider some light sedation.
At 96 I wouldn't push what doesn't NEED to be done.
But deciding need isn't always easy, so I will wish you both the best.
I am caring for my mother Betty, who is 97 years old, living in independent living with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, incontinence, mobility problems, osteoporosis, sleep disorder, and urinary tract infection.
I vote to leave mom be. With all of the issues she has, dental work is not going to be possible, most likely.
Let the poor woman alone and live out her days in peace.
The last time she and I were at the dentist (about 8 months ago), he put on a liquid barrier of some kind that is supposed to last six months and stop or severely limit further tooth decay. She had been complaining of a tooth ache.
My dad (88) and I went to the dentist for a chipped tooth and cleaning on Tuesday. Chipped teeth happen and at his stage (stroke in 2021 and left side of body doesn't work right) fixing teeth just isn't worth it even to the dentist though he gave the choices of crowns, and two lesser procedures where one was just applying this barrier I mentioned above. That is what we opted for. Now the love of his life for 62 years is gone.
We each do what we can in the moment to get loved ones what is recommended to be healthy. As caregivers regardless of the relationship to our LO, we have to back off insisting on things. Our health has to come first and that means not stressing over what our LO will and will not do. We can watch for an opportune moment to float an idea and be elated when it comes out of their mouth as something they want.
My dad brushes his teeth as part of his very regimented routine, so I know he is likely to allow someone else to brush when he isn't able anymore. Each one is different and we love them all.
THANK YOU to ALL in this forum!
At 96, I think you can skip routine dental check ups.
If she has an infection, or pain, perhaps you can convince her that you can find a dentist which will sedate her for treatment which will make her feel better.
Otherwise, leave it alone. You can't make her do anything.
Best wishes; at her age she likely is just 'done' with all the fuss.