My 88-year-old mother has been declining mentally and physically for about a year. It is no longer safe for her to live at home on her own. We have found a senior facility that we really like. But, do we place her in assisted living or place her in the memory care unit? The facility did an assessment and told us she is right on the verge of needing memory care. Although she has dementia, she can still carry on conversation and enjoys talking to people. I fear that if she is placed in memory care there will be little stimulation, as most of the residents appear significantly less mentally aware. However, if we start her out in assisted living, we may be faced with needing to move her to memory care within a few months. Have any of you faced this type of decision?
Due to the level of care she needed, I got daily, sometimes more, phone calls from the AL. There were so many things that she needed help with. She went to a wheelchair and bladder incontinent. Plus, the resistance to care....AL staff are not just trained to manage the care of someone with dementia, like MC are. They will remind residents, but, if the resident has short term memory loss, they forget soon after the reminder. And, they need lots of prompting to bathe, bush teeth, change clothes, eat, etc. Based on my experience, someone with significant dementia, even if they are verbal, are not going to be fine in a regular AL.
When I moved my LO to MC, she immediately relaxed and was able to get the one on one attention that she needed. And, they allowed her to go to the regular AL section for visits, special occasions, holiday parties, etc. In her case, it worked out. Each person is different.
I don't approve of the AL/MC. From what I have learned, the place where she is now, they started out AL/MC but it didn't work. I hate the separation from the AL part of it. Not all who live in the MC should be separated from the AL side. My mom is the higher functioning in some areas.
What is your experience where your LO is now? She must be in a lovely place to have everything done for her like that. My mom wasn't too lucky at the first place she was.
Yes, indeed. The practices you describe in the model of care can "Give your loved one some control back over his/her life."
My LO fell between the two and continues to do so after a year and 9 months of residential care.
It was VERY TOUGH for me to accept the recommendation of the center that she needed the locked MC placement, but they proved to be absolutely right.
There is PLENTY TO DO in her MC unit, and higher functioning residents can go to religious services, concerts, the beauty salon on site, and MANY other activities with the higher functioning AL folks.
Socialization and boredom are NEVER concerns in her residence. Look for good programs before you choose......
My suggestion was to visit the MC area again, preferably at meal time. You would see a much better representation of all the residents. At other times the only ones you might observe in the "common" area might be those who are more challenged, physically and/or mentally, who require more care. Others may not be present, so you don't get the full picture.
Mom's place (and her residence) just started year 4. Those who moved in at the same time and similar level are gone. Others have moved in/out. There is always a mix of capability present in her place, and various activities geared to the resident's interest/ability.
Always go several times at different times of the day to get a better idea what ANY facility offers.
Wishing you the best of luck.
My concern would be more to ask about the other residents. Are they only seeing those who are visible at the time of visit, those who require more care or are not mobile, while the more "with it" residents are elsewhere?
Our mother was the first to move into the newly opened MC (entire IL/AL/MC was rebuilt) section. The other residents vary in capability and progression. Generally in the 3+ years she has been there, the mix has been varied between those who are more capable vs those who need help (or move on, either to another facility or pass.)
ANY MC facility should have activities and socialization to keep the residents active. I would either find another MC facility, or find out if they are only seeing those residents who are less capable (visiting at different times might be more revealing, esp at mealtimes.)
I would place her in AL and see how she does. MC is not for someone that can function at all from what I have seen.
My dad improved tremendously by getting the above.
Mom has dementia. Her short term memory is totally gone. She repeats the same statements/questions multiple times a minute, all day long. She could not help Dad in any way, and actually caused him a great deal of irritation at the end.
Once he passed, the AL staff told us she would need MC immediately. She was assessed as being at a 6 year old level of functioning at the time, less now. While the AL area had good programs and there were lifelong friends living there, Mom became confused and somewhat agitated in any group setting, even family. She could take one or two at a time but not more. She gets more agitated later in the afternoon. She cannot remember to change her clothes, bathe or shower, go to meals, take her medications, go to bed. She does not remember that dad is gone and does not remember that she doesn't live in the family home (sold) any longer. She constantly packs "to go home." Constantly asks where Dad is.
Her MC area is locked, but they have all day program of activities that she can participate in. There are occasional "excursions" to the AL area for programs. We can also take her out for lunches and MD appointments, but she's resistant to that. We are told she enjoys the "crafts" projects but hates "bingo" since it involves groups of people talking at the same time. She has her favorites among the residents and some less favorites but she is not one to rock the boat. It is a great relief to family that she has 24/7 oversight, since that's what she needs. She seems pretty settled and content there.
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