Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Where does your mom think she's going to live if she doesn't go with you? Is she aware that it will be either an assisted living or memory care facility with no family near by to visit? And is her dementia too far progressed that she really can't comprehend any of it? Just know that wherever she moves to it will be very difficult for her at first as change for someone with dementia is much harder than for those without it. You as her POA need to now just make any decisions for her and do what is best for her and all involved. And if that is moving with you then you just tell her she's moving and that's that. You wouldn't leave a minor child behind in a city because they didn't want to move and leave their friends, and it's basically the same when you're dealing with someone with a broken brain. You're the parent now and have to do again what is best for all. I wish you the very best going forward.
Please make appointment with an Elder Law Attorney, ask Adult Protective Services to evaluate her for placement and look into hiring a Public Guardian. You could hire a Visiting Angel to visit regularly and report to you. Daily FaceTime might make your move possible. You and she should make your own choices unless one of you is incompetent.
mom we are having a lunch date and a tour of an assisted living place. They will meet with us, give us lunch so we can experience the dining area. We are going to have c fun day. They will show us daily activities , games, and what services they offer, as you will still need to be taken to doctor etc. next week we can visit another place for you.
Mom, you have 2 choices. You come with us to our new home or you move into Assisted Living or a nursing home. Can she comprehend that choice, as I don't know how advanced her dementia is? I could never give my mother a choice.....she was impossible with them. I gave her directions. This is what is HAPPENING mom.
So you made your plans to retire elsewhere. And you did that when? What did you think would happen to mom when you left?
There's always Plan B, a beautiful assisted living or memory care place. Lots of people who don't have family nearby live in such places and they do just fine. Sometimes they have no family at all, and this is where they choose to live. Quite frankly, most places are much more lively than living in the back bedroom in the grown kids' house. People make friends there.
Perhaps mom doesn't need you as much as you need her? Think about it from that angle, and good luck.
Don't tell her your moving just act like your going on a trip and when you get to your new home act as this is the home you never left. My friend had to move his MIL to a memory care facility and he hired movers to move the furniture while he and his wife took the MIL on day trip. The movers were instructed to set up the new apt as best they could to look like her home she was leaving. When my friend and his wife arrived at the memory care (new apt) they acted as if they were "home" using sentences as wow isn't it great to be home isn't, I am so tired it's great to sit in my nice soft chair etc.
Well, if she is incompetent in her own care you CAN'T leave her. If you have taken on your duties as her POA you are now legally responsible to keep her in safe care. I am assuming, with the level of your fears here that your Mom is already in such a state of dementia that she is no longer safe at home alone. So she will have to go with you at this point OR be placed in in facility care where she is at. Seems the only two choices.
You will need to make clear to your mom her choices.
And again, I am assuming your mom is no longer competent in her own decisions and her own care, and that you are already in charge as POA. If that isn't the case, then where Mom lives remains her own choice.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
And is her dementia too far progressed that she really can't comprehend any of it?
Just know that wherever she moves to it will be very difficult for her at first as change for someone with dementia is much harder than for those without it.
You as her POA need to now just make any decisions for her and do what is best for her and all involved. And if that is moving with you then you just tell her she's moving and that's that.
You wouldn't leave a minor child behind in a city because they didn't want to move and leave their friends, and it's basically the same when you're dealing with someone with a broken brain. You're the parent now and have to do again what is best for all.
I wish you the very best going forward.
Don't you have anyone else that can check on her, just because you are the POA doesn't mean that you have to do everything, that is a misnomer.
No reason to give up your life for her, she wants to stay where she is fine, so be it.
mom we are having a lunch date and a tour of an assisted living place. They will meet with us, give us lunch so we can experience the dining area. We are going to have c fun day. They will show us daily activities , games, and what services they offer, as you will still need to be taken to doctor etc.
next week we can visit another place for you.
maybe she
is scared of change…
Best of luck.
There's always Plan B, a beautiful assisted living or memory care place. Lots of people who don't have family nearby live in such places and they do just fine. Sometimes they have no family at all, and this is where they choose to live. Quite frankly, most places are much more lively than living in the back bedroom in the grown kids' house. People make friends there.
Perhaps mom doesn't need you as much as you need her? Think about it from that angle, and good luck.
My friend had to move his MIL to a memory care facility and he hired movers to move the furniture while he and his wife took the MIL on day trip. The movers were instructed to set up the new apt as best they could to look like her home she was leaving. When my friend and his wife arrived at the memory care (new apt) they acted as if they were "home" using sentences as wow isn't it great to be home isn't, I am so tired it's great to sit in my nice soft chair etc.
You will need to make clear to your mom her choices.
And again, I am assuming your mom is no longer competent in her own decisions and her own care, and that you are already in charge as POA. If that isn't the case, then where Mom lives remains her own choice.