She clipped the wires to the thermostat so the AC and heat do not work. She keeps shutting off the portable AC and starts ranting about how we need to keep it off. We live here so she doesn't have to go to a home, but summer just started and we have heart issues. She cusses all the time and tells us to leave if we don't like it. I'm in California.
Elders + those with health conditions may be endangered.
Yet, civilisations have existed for eons without aircon. There are many ways to keep cool, wet face-cloths, cool bath/shower etc.
I'm wondering what this is? A preference you want & G'ma doesn't VS a dangerous situation?
Please correct if wrong, ok?
You moved in with your daughter's G'ma - 4 yrs ago.
You are not a blood relative yourself.
It's horribly hot right now.
You report that G'ma has broken the air con.
Who has the responsibility to fix the air con? To keep it on? To pay the power bills? You? G'ma?
** Who's in charge? **
Either way, what would a reasonable person do?
Would a reasonable person fix & pay for aircon if their household members ask for it? Need it?
You can put special lockable hinges on the doors so she can’t go outside etc.
Also, in California you have residency at her house so you have rights. You can put a lock on your door etc so she can’t go in there and turn anything off.
I'd do this quick. You see the temps we're going to have next week? It's going to be brutal.
She has dementia. Up and leaving her completely alone in an overheated home because she demands it isn't really good advice. It's elder abuse and can come with some really bad consequences to you.
A person clipping electrical wires is a danger to themselves and others.
You need to get out of her house and get your life back. You’re enabling her to go on with this charade.
So next time grandma says "leave if you don't like it", do just that and leave.
And then you call APS and report a vulnerable adult living by herself with dementia and no air-conditioning.
You can't fix a broken brain, but you can fix your life and living conditions, and I hope you'll do just that.
I agree, might be time to move out and on with their lives.
My mom is going through this. I get that she is cold , I'm being very compassionate about it now that I understand it.
I think learning about dementia would be good for you. It's good for anyone, you tube Teepa Snow. She is amazing.
My mom knows that it's not physically healthy for her to be to hot, even though she never wants the AC on she knows it not healthy, so she keeps an AC on rooms she is not in to keep the humidity level down. This is very important because there body doesn't feel the heat and they can get dehydrated easy,
Which can cause bladder infection, and cause all sorts of issues.
Everything your going through is not going to get easier, it just gets harder and harder from here on our. My life is me , running around daily trying to put out a fire ( today I've gotta run to drug store, get mom steroids,for her back and then it will be more physical therapy, last week it was a sinus infection. It never ends at this point) and it's me trying to not get burnt(out) . Waytomisery said this to someone yesterday. And she is right that's what my life is now
So you need to decide do I want this life, and if not you need to figure out what to do.
Best of luck
Are you her PoA? Is anyone her PoA?
If you're not, then you will need to move out and allow the social services to deal with her so that she gets assigned a court-appointed legal guardian. It won't be possible to continue to live with her. It's wrong to subject your daughters to this (...are they all minors??) Are you living there and not paying rent? Are you bartering caregiving for free housing? I'm trying to figure out why you'd stay in such an awful situation.
If you are her PoA (or someone else is) this person needs to read the document to see what activates their authority, then work to fullfill it (usually it's at least 1 medical diagnosis of sufficient impairment). You are preventing a solution by propping up the "aging at home" nonsense when she obviously needs medical attention or/and more help than you are now able to give her. Her dementia will only continue to get worse.
An option is to call 911 and tell them she's doing delusional things and that you suspect she has a UTI (which she might) or dehydrated. They will hopefully take her to the ER to treat her. But since you're in her home, she'll come right back unless no one goes to get her after being discharged. If she makes it to the hospital you can then tell the staff that she's an unsafe discharge and tell them how she clipped the thermostat wires so now there's no AC in this heat. Tell them you're not her caregiver. Ask to speak to a social worker and discuss the possibility of transitioning her directly into a facility.
IF she gets a legal guardian then you will have to move out of that house anyway. But if she has a PoA but not enough money to go into facility care, then I don't have a solution for you, except to resign as PoA and step aside for a court assigned guardian.
You don’t have to live with her “ so she doesn’t have to go in a home .”
Don’t subject your children to this situation .