I am in a wheelchair with severe balance issues and spasticity in one leg. My husband and I live in an ADA apartment, but I fell trying to use the toilet by myself because the toilet configuration and grab bars cause me to have to lead with my weak leg. As a result, I am no longer able to use the toilet without his assistance. I've looked into various assistive devices, but nothing is tailored to my apparently novel problem.
He's a good and caring husband, but my new dependency is getting us both down. We are low income. I looked into having a caregiver come in for a respite day for my husband, but it would cost about $100 per visit because there is a three-hour minimum. All I need is someone to help me use the toilet a couple of times while he's gone. Should I be calling around to more places or are they all going to cost about this much? I'd sure like someone who is caring and kind. I know. That sounds like an impossibility, finding someone who is caring and willing to come for a short time and is affordable.
Any ideas?
Thank you.
Get a commode and then you can place it where it works best for you.
You can then empty it out and refresh it, alleviating the need for your husband to have to do this for you.
A bucket with a lid to transport waste to bathroom, a spray bottle of cleaner to freshen commode and a small bucket for water to place in commode for ease of clean up. Easy peasy.
Or you could wear depends while he is gone.
Do you have a crafty relative that is good with woodworking or construction?? You might be able to show them the problem and a solution found. I've done several modifications, on my own, for my mom based on watching her, figuring out the struggle, and making something that works. And I'm certainly no Handy Dandy where it comes to building things. My brain just finds solutions to problems!
If using the toilet is only issue when hubby goes out. Maybe you could get a portable pot and place it next to a wall (to avoid tipping) in a way you could roll yourself right to it, stand, sit on the pot, and then get back in your chair. Pads or diapers while he's out is option, too, and neither of you would worry about a fall trying to do a transfer alone.
Health care assistance is expensive. Reaching out to relatives might find a volunteer, but don't bet on it if you haven't already seen them step forward. It's possible you have a neighbor in your apts who would work for a cheaper fee as on-call for a day when hubby goes out. (No middle man upcharges like a home health care is going to get). Work out a deal with advance notice that hubby will be gone from 1-5 on a certain day, can you come to help me w/toileting maybe X number of times while he is out? They don't have to sit in your apt earning an hourly wage and all you have to do is call. If they don't work anyway - it would be a little cash for them.
Is there any kind of volunteer senior services group or perhaps a group affiliated with a church) in your area? Some of these groups have volunteers who run errands or take people to doctor's appts. Maybe they would have someone who would offer periodic respite care. Even if they do not offer it right now, your making such a request might get the agency to think about adding respite care to their program. A volunteer probably would have no special health care training, so it would depend on the level of help you need.
If you had to hire a regular health care aide from time to time, it might be worth the money to give your husband a little "vacation."
I would suggest that your reach out to your Area Agency On Aging, (AAA). The AAA in Missouri does offer some respite hours to caregivers at no cost.
im not sure what state your in? But I know in Maryland. If you receive medicade, not Medicare. Do to your income. Then you can usually get state assistance with a care giver. Through your local government. Usually the department of aging.
unfortunately because of her assets, retirement, and SS. We do not Fall into that category.
Are local governments. Offer different grants. To help with caregivers, and offer a little help. We just revived one for $500. Which in the big picture is not much. But we could choose whoever we wanted. To give me some free time. It could even be a family member. In we were able to choose how much we were going to pay them. In Howard County Maryland. The cheapest you will find someone. Is around $30 a hour. With a minimum of 20 hours a week.
in most caregivers at that rate. Refuse to do any heavy lifting, on the toilet, shower etc. Which is were most people need help.
Im going to attach the government agencies. That have been a little help in my area. They may have the same ones in your area.
Earnestine M. Thomas, MSW
Caregiver Specialist
Howard County Office on Aging and Independence
Department of Community Resources and Services
Please be careful with hiring a caregiver. I have heard too many stories of robbery and theft from someone who takes advantage of old people.
1. Try to find recent immigrants to this country. Sometimes, recent immigrants come from a culture where elderly people are respected, and they are warm and loving. Before I quit my job and came home to be a full-time caregiver, this really helped me.
2. Start using disposable briefs. Not pleasant at all, but you won't have to worry about falling trying to get on the toilet, and you won't have to pay expensive caregivers.
If you find better answers, please make sure you post them here. We all need all the help we can get.
https://www.o3a.org/
When I was caring for my mother I contacted my Area Council on Aging and they provided money to pay someone to come into my home and sit with / assist my mother. I was able to use the money to pay someone I know or an agency. If you are low income and receiving medicaid you may be able to get assistance from medicaid as well. I hope that this works out for you and your husband.