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Stress and lack of sleep does some weird things. I'd like to hear of health problems that caregivers can develop.
Of course there's back issues that can arise from picking someone up off the floor, and weight gain from trying to get them to eat. But, I'm wondering about other less obvious things that the cumulative effects of stress and and lack of sleep can cause. I mention lack of sleep because I don't really allow myself too much deep sleep. I'm always aware of when my wife gets up and wanders through the house.
Last November I came down with Bell's Palsy. Reading Pubmed papers lists of possible causes, two things jumped out at me, shingles virus and lack of sleep. My wife had shingles a couple of months before that. Now 10 months later I'm still left with a couple of residual effects from it, about 90-95% recovered.
So I'm wondering what other maladies should I be aware of so I can watch for warning signs.
Oh, the Bell's Palsy warning sign was a strong pain right behind my ear for 2 days before the paralysis set in. BP is an inflammation of the 7th cranial nerve which exits the skull right behind the ear and comes up over the ear and runs to several places on your face.

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I think, for myself, I've had non-stop stress that has caused my immune system to be taxed. I'm getting sick way more often than I ever have before.
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Reply to TXmomof3
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It started with sleep problems, first with my job in 2009, then with progressive caregiving for my mother with her bipolar, health and balance problems. One year after my mother at age 95 had passed in 2014, I developed microscopic colitis and some arthritis in my hips. I cannot blame my mother entirely for my stress, but her problems did not help.
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This won’t apply to everyone, but one of my first posts here was about how caregiving/care managing difficult LO’s plus perimenopause ( now Meno ) creates a perfect storm. I don’t think peri would have been a walk in the park for me, but I know that the constant stress and neediness and drama of my mother blew up my symptoms. It’s been absolutely insane.

One thing I recommend for everyone and helps me is grabbing simple joy moments whenever possible. Walking in the dog park. Music! A purring cat in my lap. Etc…

For women I recommend seeing a specialist in perimeno,/meno, getting full blood work, and working out solutions that work for you for hormone issues. Not cheap but I’ve been cobbling together what I can get from Kaiser and then the rest via a naturopath MD who I don’t have to see often. Omg total game changer! I put off dealing with this to ‘tough it out’ and ‘ I don’t have time, and am wishing I hadn’t, but I’m all over it now.

Those are the two things that have helped me the most.
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Reply to Madisoncuckoo7
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I encourage you to get a caregiver in - overnights - as necessary. You need to get the sleep you require.

Look at this website:

https://psychcentral.com/stress/is-stress-the-number-one-killer#how-stress-affects-the-body

In part, it says:

While stress is a natural response to perceived danger, chronic stress can lead to physical and mental health complications and early death. 

Stress is a natural response to new, challenging, or threatening situations. Experiencing stress is part of being alive, but it can become overwhelming, causing daily dysfunction and even leading to serious health complications.

Stress itself is not a problem, but it becomes a problem when it’s left to run rampant and starts holding you back from experiencing your full potential. 

... stress may escalate into full-blown test anxiety and limit your ability to study, arrive on time, and finish the task. 

Stress is a response that is supposed to peak and resolve. It is not supposed to go on endlessly (i.e., after the test, the feelings of test stress should resolve). 

If your stress response continues after the fact, and if it goes unmanaged (i.e., becomes chronic), it can lead to mental and physical health problems, including anxiety and depression, heart disease, and even death.

How stress affects the body________________

Stress affects every part of the body, and this is why it’s felt physically and mentally. 

According to the American Psychological Association, short-term stress affects all systems including:

Musculoskeletal (ie., muscle tightening and tension)
Respiratory (ie., rapid breathing or shallow breathing)
Cardiovascular(ie., heart race increase, blood pressure increase)
Endocrine, gastrointestinal, nervous, and reproductive: stress hormone release, flight or fight response kicks into gear.

These natural responses are designed to peak and drop. When they don’t, diseases can occur in relation to the overstimulation of the stress response.

The question is: What are you doing about taking care of yourself?

Gena / Touch Matters
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Dropping dead. Literally.
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Reply to Southernwaver
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PBS did a documentary on stress that every year you took care of a disabled child you aged 4 years, it included living in a dangerous environment as well

My mother took care of my quadriplegic sister for 50 years now has severe Parkinson’s with dementia. I have serious health problems from caregiving my sister since I was 10, it does wear on you.
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Reply to Mjustice98
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Sleep is when you repair and clean your brain. So many things can be triggered by chronic lack of sleep Parkinsons, Dementia etc. Sooo many things!!
Try and get as close to 8 hours of sleep as you can. My mum, strong healthy woman, aged about 10 years in the 3 years she took care of my father. She is not the same person now. Never got a full night of sleep and that was the part she found the hardest.
My advice is sleep as much as you can (get door alarms, night sitters etc) and go for brief walks whenever you can, even if just 10 mins around the block. Both lower the effects of the stress and fend of the depression. Eat well and watch comedies. Think prevention as becoming sick when you are caregiving is a whole new nightmare.
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Reply to FarFarAway
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Bell's Palsy is caused by a virus, not necessarily, the varicella virus, which causes shingles after having had chicken pox years before. It can happen at any time, at any age. Had it twice. Once in my 20s, then in my 40s. Don't know if stress had anything to do with it. There are many infirmities that can be exacerbated by stress, but as for warning signs...because the physical manifestions would be different for each person, it would be difficult to list. Although, anxiety and depression are mental health issues likely related to the stress of caregiving.
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Reply to Tynagh
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High blood pressure -seen many here who have developed it from the stress, lack of sleep and exercise, and weight gain from poor eating

Diabetes, pre-diabetes - from all of the same factors.

They are two of the major illness in North America,
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Depression. And more depression.
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graygrammie Sep 10, 2024
The first thing I thought of.
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Tremors
migraines
body aches & pains
stress
problems sleeping
anxiety & depression
extreme fatigue
recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia
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Reply to LostinPlace
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STRESS is the first and foremost - because we tend to ignore those signs.

Physical symptoms - repetitive injuries - Back pain, foot pain, hand and wrist pain, elbow pain, neck pain....all of those things can sneak up on you. In our case - of the 4 of us that were taking care of my FIL - both my DH and BIL had back and spine problems that required surgery, my SIL had knee and foot pain and wrist/hand pain that required surgery and I have wrist/hand pain that requires surgery - all directly related to caregiving.

Stress can cause all kinds of physical symptoms as well.
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KittyJoy Sep 10, 2024
Thank you for mentioning the hand and wrist pain because I am developing horrible pain in my hands and wrists. I never linked it to the repetitive movements and weight of lifting from caring for my husband who has Lewy Body Dementia. Now I understand! Also I had to have surgery for POP from trying to lift him and make him comfortable.
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If your dad lives in a personal care home, they will check his vitals. He should have a CBC test to check his levels. My mom had echocardiograms and an Abdomen with IV Dye contrast. Your dad may have health issues that need treatment. The ER will test for any issues.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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What I say to people is that you know your own body best....after all you've been living with it. So if you notice something different /out-of-the ordinary, mention it to your primary doctor.
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Reply to ThisIsIt
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TMJ disorder, apparently from clenching my jaw; very painful. And then tinnitus from the OTC pain relievers I was taking to knock down the TMJ pain. We had recently moved and I was wondering why the mosquitos on this side of the mountains all buzzed in E-flat. 😆
I’m still in pain but I’ve tried everything and thrown many hundreds of dollars at it with no relief. I’m learning to cope.
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DeborahL Sep 10, 2024
My dentist told me eventually the TMJ would stop and it did after about 6 mos. Tinnitus? never found anything to help.
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jwellsy, for myself, the stress caused breast cancer. There were no other markers, no family history, no smoking, no drinking.... just a lot of stress. It was my surgeon who said that stress was now very much a marker.
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Lisaderin Sep 10, 2024
So sorry to hear this! It may also be why I have extreme osteo arthritis symptoms in knees, back, hands and feet. No family history there either. I do hope you are okay and wish you much comfort and support while you go through this time!
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Any health problem that you already have, or are prone to, will get worse if you do not take care of yourself. So, find a way to get more sleep!!!! Either ask doctor for medication to help your loved one sleep through the night (my personal favorite option). Or, get somebody to watch your loved one for several hours so you can sleep.
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KittyJoy Sep 10, 2024
Agree on asking for meds to help the patient sleep through the night. Best decision ever. My husband would be up roaming around and of course I would be up looking for him and getting him back to bed. This wandering behavior at night is hard to manage.
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Caregiving is often hell on earth for many people. Living in a constant state of stress and having to be "on" 24 hours a day can cause so many health problems.

-Depression and anxiety
-Weight gain/loss
-Digestive issues/stomach issues (like GURD and acid reflux)
-Heart disease and high blood pressure from the constant stress
-Weakened immune system
-Triggers auto-immune diseases
-Addiction (alcohol, drugs, abusing food, gambling, etc...)
-Reckless and dangerous behavior

I compared living with my mother and being her caregiver to being in a P.O.W. camp. It's psychological torture. A person can't live in a constant state of anxiety waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or be verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused every day because it will destroy them. It also creates the perfect conditions for caregiver abuse.

In my situation I knew where it was going. I had to get out of it or the caregiving would have ended in tragedy for one or both of us.

No one should ever have a moment of guilt for needing to place a person and stop being a caregiver.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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deidrew Sep 10, 2024
It really is psychological torture. My mother cuts herself every day because she believes she has parasites in her body. I'm always cleaning up blood and putting the bloody tissues in bags for her that she insists she needs to save for "evidence." It's my own personal horror movie playing daily. When this ends I will have to find a way to recover.
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You have to really take care of yourself . When My Mom was In rehab for 80 days during summer I was driving back and forth from Cape Cod and Boston and sleeping In youth hostels . I remember being so tired from exhaustion I thought I was going to die . She was discharged from the rehab and the physical Therapist tole me " She could Not live alone and was telling stories . " The Next 2 weeks were the worst 2 weeks of My Life - I Lived in a hotel for 3 weeks . The VNA Nurse did Not show up till 2 weeks Later and we had to call 911 . She stayed In the hospital for a week Then I had to Place her in a Nursing Home. The hotel Kicked me out Because they had a 3 week Limit . So I snuck into her apartment and slept there . And then I tried to be with her at the NH for the next 2 Months - October and November . My Brother fell November 7 so I had to go to Cape Cod hospital that Day and cancel my Psychiatrist appointment . I remember falling Into a deep depression That Day . The Next year would be brutal . I would be caring for My schizophrenic brother with stage 4 cancer alone. He Lived with me for 6 Months . Long story but he Passed October 22, 2017 - 10 Months after My mother . I had to renovate a house and find tenants . My Dad started shuffling and walking slow .... he went to Florida for a couple Months and I got seriously Ill with a Flu for 2 months and slept and couldn't shake the flu . Finally was given these strong antibiotics that left my Joints Killing . I started to swim that May and get several Thai massages . Massages always helped with the stress and swimming in the ocean . I Had gained weight . I started to smoke and Have some wine . The realtor had given me a mentally Ill tenant who eventually Killed himself . I started going to a community acupuncture clinic for support and stress . My fathers dementia and Alzheimers grew worse . His Behavior was Manic and OCD . I Really thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown . He had a stroke . I took care of him for for 15 Months after that and My sister Kidnapped My Father from Boston to California and I Have Only spoken to him twice for 2 Minutes in 2 years . To Say That I am Traumatized is a under statement . I Got serious Kneee Pain Last November, they found a cyst in my breast in July that was extremely painful for 7 weeks . ( Ultra sound shows no cancer ) Got a Bursitis But I feel like I have arthritis Now and I have always been Healthy . There are times I want to die But what good would that do Me . Sometimes it is really hard to stay Positive when your sister turns Out to be a creep . Hopefully there will be a brighter future but after 8 Years I am worn Out Like an Old car and I am not that Old . I think about My own Mortality and death a lot . The Happy free spirt adventurous person is gone , I have become jaded and Not so much in love with humanity any Longer . But since I was told " I did not have cancer " I am trying to talk to people and Not be so shut down and withdrawn .
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Reply to KNance72
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Not all stress is bad by default. Stress motivates us,
oftentimes it forces us to make positive changes.
If we care for person with long progressive diseases like dementias we must make decisions which will include safety for both.
And no guilt.
I think guilt is the biggest stressor.
Word “guilty”should be removed from caregiving vocabulary. As we did not cause this or other disease. We cannot cure it.
Acceptance is paramount.
Often there is nothing absolutely nothing we can do to change anything.
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Reply to Evamar
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Fibromyalgia, someone in the forum was just diagnosed with that.

Actually if you have a family history of any autoimmune diseases. Stress can bring them on. Like diabetes for one.

And burnout causes carelessness and recklessness. I fell caring a end table, I should of never been caring. I just didn't care.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Peasuep Sep 10, 2024
Ooh, you are so right about carelessness/recklessness which hadn’t occurred to me before, but I’m beginning to see in myself. I think it’s at least partly from lack of uninterrupted sleep. Also being at wit’s end, constantly.
I took a dive in the driveway last night while chasing deer out of my ‘sanity garden’. Honestly, that’s the only place I can go where I feel like I have any control. Even the wildlife around here is trying to ruin me!
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Watch for ALL the maladies.
That is to say you must not neglect yourself.
You need to eat right.
You need to get adequate rest and sleep.
You need to get exercise.
You need not to be in a constant state of stress.
ALL THESE THINGS contribute to your being more vulnerable.
You seem to be aware of this issue.
That isn't often enough; caregivers tend to put off self- caring. That is no guarantee that you wouldn't get sick if you were the wealthiest and most carefree person in the world; you might. It is just to say that we understand stressors as a danger. You seem to as well. And THAT is the good news.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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The most important thing to know at this point is that 40% of caregivers that are caring for someone with any of the dementias will die before the one they're caring for from stress related issues.
If that doesn't scare you I don't know what will, and it only emphasizes the importance of caregivers taking good care of themselves.
Your profile says that your wife has vascular dementia, and as I'm sure you already know, that is the most aggressive of all the dementias with a life expectancy of just 5 years. It also sounds like you've taken good care of her thus far and even yourself, with getting help in from not only your daughter but others as well so you can get away, and I'm glad to hear that, as you matter too in this equation.
Your journey won't be as long as some others whose loved ones have Alzheimer's as that can go on for 20+ years, so hopefully you can continue to handle your stress best you can.

I know when I was caring for my late husband who also had vascular dementia, the thing that bothered and affected me most was the lack of sleep we both got while his incontinence was out of control and before he got his permanent catheter. He was a fall risk and was getting up every hour to pee, so I would have to go with him or get up to hold the urinal for him, as he only had use of one arm and that arm had essential tremors in it.
I was running on empty and at my wits end. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Plus I am a stress eater, so I did put on some weight during the last few years of my husbands life, but thankfully have since taken that off.
I did however understand the importance of trying best I could to take care of myself, and even if it just meant running to the grocery store to get away for a bit was extremely helpful. But of course I did lunch or supper with friends, went to church, or just sat outside on our patio.
The thing that helped me the most though(other than God)was my in person caregiver support group as there is NOTHING better than getting to share with others that know exactly what you're going through, and are there to give you a hug when you need one. My support group literally saved my life.

I wish you the very best as you travel this very difficult road with your wife.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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elcee499 Sep 10, 2024
40% is a shocking statistic! I hope you don't mind if I ask for your source?
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Just about anything ,
Chest pains , heart attacks , stroke , even cancer .. mental health problems , stomach ulcers etc .

Reducing the stress to prevent problems is better than waiting until they happen .,
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Reply to waytomisery
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Of course it’s important to take any symptoms seriously, but I think the real question is what you can do to decrease your stress. I know I’m not answering your question but I think you need more assistance with caregiving. My husband was on dialysis so those 12 hours weekly were my salvation. I would have hired caregivers otherwise to make time for myself. If you can’t afford more caregiving hours, it may be time to look into long-term care. You can’t help your wife if you yourself become disabled from health issues related to stress. I can imagine how difficult it is for you and wish you well.

Sorry, just read your profile and see that you do have caregivers coming in five times weekly. Perhaps you need someone to come in at night as well, so that you can get some restful sleep. I also think it’s vital that some of the free time you do have is spent on healthy activities for yourself, not just errands and appointments. I would go to the gym, have lunch with friends, etc(hopefully you are doing this already).
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