I wanted to ask a more general question. What happens to dementia patients that are physically and verbally abusive if put into a home? There are many out there. I see people telling others to put them into a home immediately, then I see others telling the nursing home caregivers to contact the police. So what is a person to do exactly? Dementia people are angry and abusive. They don't know what is going on around them and do not understand their actions have consequences. So what happens to the abusive dementia patients who have no where to go as they have been kicked out of nursing home care (as suggested by you guys) but have been put into one due to their abusiveness at home?
Then, there are Assisted Living facilities, who accept those with dementia, but, not if the resident is to far progressed or is difficult to manage due to their behavior.
So, then they would be placed in a Memory Care facility, where is there more supervision and training in the care of dementia residents. Still, if the behavior is too unmanageable, disruptive or violent, even with medication treatment, they would not be allowed to stay, according to the regulations in my state. (based on what I have read and been told.)
So, that leaves psychiatric hospitals and residential facilities that house people who are not able to live in a regular AL or Memory Care. There are a few in my state. I know someone who has a parent who lives in that type of long term care facility. He has mental illness and dementia. It's actually state operated. Those facilities provide very special care for those who are not able to be managed elsewhere.
I'm not sure of your situation, but, some dementia patients may improve in their behavior and mood when properly medicated, (not drugged up) and provided with the proper supervision. My LO responded very well to proper medication and the care of trained professionals in a Memory Care facility. IMO, disruptive and resistant behavior can often be the result of untrained staff doing all the wrong things.
I do believe nursing homes try to hold on off this however. They don't want their residents to be drugged zombies. There are many interventions that can be tried first and while those things are being tried the person with dementia may begin to become acclimated to their surroundings.
If you Google it, you will find lots of case histories, many of them very sad stories.
The issue overlaps with that of overmedicating people with dementia. Relatives and the general public are rightly horrified at the thought of elderly people being kept quiet and compliant with drugs. But you and we on the forum know that before they get too appalled and vocal, they need to know what happens when a person with full-blown dementia acts out. And if they still have a better idea of how to prevent that person from being a danger to him/herself and others, let's hear it.
Really excellent dementia care can avoid the worst problems. But it is such highly skilled work that it is both expensive to provide and difficult to find enough people with the true vocation for it.
I hope you'll get many more answers with positive examples of how things were handled. Good question, thank you :)