My mother has Alzheimer’s and is losing weight and getting weak because she only will eat a few bites a day. We have been getting her to drink some fortified shakes, but that is not enough. She is still home where she wants to be, but for the last month, spends most of her days in bed and occasionally will sit up in a chair. Most times she refuses to bathe even with help and does not want to brush her teeth. I have tried offering her favorite sweets but she doesn’t want those either. Don’t know what to do. My son lives with her and I go back and forth.
All of them you probably don't want to hear.
As a person declines their need for calories lessens. They are not as active. The body needs a few calories to keep the major organs functioning, brain, heart, lungs, kidneys. These will also stop functioning.
To give mom food or fluid that her body can not use can cause more problems. So you are right not to try to force her to eat or drink. Offer but never force.
Your mom would probably qualify for Hospice and the Hospice Nurse can give you information and help you through this difficult time.
Another thing that often happens with dementia is a person "forgets" how to swallow. So food given may remain in the mouth or throat. This can lead to aspiration of the food or liquid that leads to Aspiration Pneumonia.
She is not feeling hunger or thirst like you or I do.
The body "prepares" to die. By stopping eating and drinking she/her body is preparing.
Please watch a few videos on this subject by Hospice Nurse Julie. You can find her on You Tube and on Facebook. She has some very informative videos.
My husband will soon be at the same stage. We have to accept what is happening with peace in our hearts because we have no other reasonable choice.
Best of luck.
My dad had frontotemporal dementia (not Alzheimer’s) but he went through the exact same thing that you are describing. He ate less and less his last few years and the last six months, all he consumed was one small scoop of vanilla ice cream and maybe 3-4 ounces of orange juice per day. The dementia caused him swallowing problems and he just didn’t like any other foods, protein shakes, etc. He was skeletally thin and too weak to walk much at all. He went into home hospice four months before he died. The last several days of his life, he barely consumed anything including water.
He also did not want to bathe or brush his teeth or change his clothes. The hospice people got him to cooperate a few times on cleaning but it was rare.
Hospice is really helpful. Best wishes
She just died, also did not eat or drink she was in transition; she was ready to go at age 100.
Hospice nurses will help you understand what she is going through and what will happen.
If you do not want this to happen in her home, she can be placed in Hospice, talk to her doctor about this.
You will not stop the inevitable, so now is the time to prepare yourself.
Sending support your way.
Sorry for the loss of your mom.
They will supply all needed equipment, supplies, and medications, along with access to a volunteer, their chaplain and social worker all covered 100% under your mothers Medicare.
It sounds like your mother life is winding down and having Alzheimer's is a death sentence anyway, so call hospice so they can better direct you to make sure that your mother is kept comfortable and pain free, so she can die in peace.
Can you tell us how old Mom is, and how long she has had dementia?
Have you educated yourself to the fact that eating less and sleeping more is the norm in middle-late and late stages of dementia?
So last night handed her a cup of cottage cheese, a spoon, and walked out.
if she won’t do anything to help herself, I dont care anymore.
Doctor said her not eating or drinking a lot is part of the “process”