Hi all, new to the forum and just wanted to see if anyone might be able to shed some light on our situation. So my wife is extremely close to her grandparents, they're basically her mum and dad. Her grandfather is 85 and has had a few health problems in recent years and through all this her man who is 80 has been reasonably well health wise.
Anyway recently she has not been feeling herself, worrying, dithering, overthinking tiny things. So she went to the doctors and he gave her anti depressants?? This led to her being hospitalised to due dangerously low sodium caused by siadh caused by the pills. Needless to say they have changed doctor. Anyway she is out of hospital now but all of that kind of masked what was wrong in the first place. She is now even worse. She wanders round at night because she has the wrong socks on? Wrong dressing gown? She's obsessed with the toilet, she wanted to phone 999 because she was constipated, she constantly takes movicol then wonders why she has diarrhea. She wants to take a sleeping tablet then worries when she's taken it. Worries she's going to choke on chocolate because it got stuck in her throat a while back etc, it's so sad to see.
This is just a brief outline of what is going on to give you an idea, my wife is so worried. Nan doesn't take any medication other than blood pressure pills which has led me to discover vascular dementia as this has come on in a matter of weeks. She has always been a bit of a ditherer and a bit fidgety in recent years but nothing like this.
I should note there is a history of huntingtons in the family but 80 is very very late for this to surface.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance X
Grandad is holding up ok but I know he'll be really worried about all this so again, we need to make him feel comfortable and safe as well. Great advice about calming techniques which I will speak with the family about.
I will also look at some mess you have mentioned. Thank you all again so much
Music, art and pets are great therapeutically. Play her favorite music when she becomes agitated. If you don't have pets, ask neighbors you know if they'll stop by periodically when walking their dogs. If there aren't any such neighbors, buy a little furry toy that looks very lifelike and encourage her to hold it when she's agitated.
Country and Country Extra magazines are two of the greatest therapies I've found. The photos range from stunningly beautiful to amusing - from majestic mountain ranges to cute photos of children with farm animals. Thumbing through the magazine is relaxing and calming.
Also try to redirect her anxiety through tales of past events, where she grew up, what their home life was like, pets they had, etc.
Dementia only gets worse, sometimes rapidly, often very slowly. Eventually one or both of them will need full time care. Be careful that you will not be nominated for that roll simply through proximity, being willing and able to help out now should not be misconstrued as volunteering for years of servitude. The family, including the grandparents, need to come together and agree on a long term plan and fair compensation for anyone contributing more than the rest.
There are all kinds of medications that help with anxiety and other out of character behaviours, but she really needs to be evaluated and prescribed what the doctors feel will help her unique situation.
Also, and this may be a long shot, but the house next door to nan and grandads has come up for sale, we only rent at the moment so it's not like we're upping stocks for no reason, but I guess my real question is, wether we do this or not, is that do dementia sufferers gain from feeling safer, which I know she would, or is it like a catch 22?
My wife is pretty much their primary care giver so it would end up being her job anyway?
Just wanted to get some thoughts on it, thanks
Beyond that, it definitely could be dementia. Do you have access to a good doctor that will evaluate her for that? There are tests that you can look at on line (the MMSE is one) to give you some ideas what you are looking for.