Today I saw what to most would be a heartwarming tale in the paper. A couple in a retirement community in their 90s who both lost spouses who got married. The story was they were both married for over 50 years, families, common beliefs and faiths, discussed with their minister and all I could think was hmmm their "kids" (more likely grandkids at this point) are probably on the forum talking about undue influence and their future inheritances!! And I hope they know better than to comingle assets at this point, and etc etc etc.
Anyone else look at things lately with a glass half empty attitude!? I need an attitude adjustment 😉
Just do a fake ceremony ( not legal ) at that age .
I have 3 neighbors , all couples in their 70’s , none of them are married . That’s how I would do it .
I don’t think it’s glass half empty , I think it’s practical to not get married in certain circumstances at various ages .
Me, I would not get remarried at 90. I would not remarry in my 80s.
You surely learned a lot in just seeing your Aunt out after ONE HUNRED years of age.
My old dad used to talk about his grandma who came via covered wagon from NYS to Marion, IL. by covered wagon. She was a corker and she lived to a long old age. When her son built her an outhouse to stop her going to the woods with her waste, she said it was much too good for that purpose and put her chickens in it. On her deathbed she wondered if her old cow was headed over to the Krickerbergs farm on her own and when family told her yes, they thought so and hadn't a clue how to get her home, she told them it was a good thing, laughed and said "Won't have to pay old Krickerberg his fee this year. Figured she was heading over to the bull on her own.
My Dad used to laugh about what a saver she was, how loathe to spend on anything, and commented she lost three husbands, making sure to marry UP after each entry into widowhood.
Lot's of change in this century and a bit more. Now it is romantics in their 90s thinking to start a whole new life. Oh, lord SPARE me!
One of my very dearest friends is a single, energetic, erudite (and flaming red-head) who I love to pieces. She's 74 and does PT contract work in a very upscale MC facility leading "exercise" classes for the residents -- and is doing a jaw-dropping job of getting the elders engaged. Even though she's had both a total knee replacement and a hip replacement, she's above average in fitness. Yet last year when she sold her 100-yr old farmhouse she was looking to rent an Air BNB that had no garage (MN winters? No garage? No where to plug in a battery warmer? No remote car starter? Not even a paved driveway?? NO WAY) and the main bedroom was up a steep set of stairs and there was only a claw tub, in a town where she knew no one etc etc etc. It took a while to get her to stop romanticizing things. She finally found a great rental, really appropriate and she loves it BUT... she continues to romanticize an actual house and is making noise about looking for one again. First off, in this real estate market? nope. She just cannot accept that aging is mostly about loss: of our physical and cognitive selves, of family and friends, of a way of life we used to live, etc. It's also about needing help and she's fiercely independent. I swear I will club her with a pool noodle if she even talks to me about buying a house. Why can't she see? Her romanticism continues to trip her up. In America there is a LOT of romanticizing of aging and it's causing a lot of problems for a lot of people. That's why that article was written... because it sounds SO romantic. B.S. It's probably 2 people with cognitive decline that barely know the implications of what they're doing and its downstream effect on their families.
We caregivers know too much.
Now I met my current partner when we were pushing 50. We are together 30-odd years. He had, at the time, much more than I did. He had paid for a home already, put that money, after selling, into a building we share in which we live in upper flat and rent out the lower. Because I no longer needed to pay rent, and with the passing of parents and brother, we ended up with the same in liquid assets, pretty much self-insured. But he still owns a building which I have not participated in and which is in a Trust. The trust stipulates I have to right to live in, and all proceeds of, the two flat until my death. At that point it goes to his two children. My children will have my liquid assets. This has all been discussed ad nauseum with all children, who all approve of our relationship, and how things work with us and how things will work at the death of either of us.
So let us say this couple chooses to marry (not certain why they WOULD, but let us say they do). They will see an attorney I am assuming, and will discuss how to do what they WANT TO DO. IF they are competent. And if not competent they cannot marry.
So seems pretty simple on face of it.
These days I think children are VERY SHORT SITED to ASSUME they will be rich. We are living too long. My SIL is now 70 and his wife, my daughter is 63. The 70 y/o SIL has a living mother. Well off and in IL. She and her "beau" share expenses on their IL place because it SAVES money for each of their inheriting sets of progeny. But to be honest--a 70 year old man can be a sitting duck for sudden cardiac events and so on. There is no guarantee you will get the money or get it in a timely manner.
SADLY.
I think we live too long. The options here to address that are drastic, whereas in other countries (some) there is more choice.
Interesting for Discussions, to be certain, Casole!
Just kept pushing myself, until I felt better.
I call it, I lost faith in humanity days... or weeks...