Share your annoying request or demands that happened to you today.

Tiredreader and all other posters, this is one of the most enjoyable threads that I've read in a long time. It really is important to vent one in awhile (actually as much as needed) and then to see the humor in it is just awesome. I'm on this site very often and have found so much help, information and help and compassion here, but today this thread really hit the spot. Than you all and blessings to all, Lindaz.

JessieBelle, I also have to hear about every little ache and pain of my mother's, along with the "wait until you are old" refrain. And of course she showtimes on the phone calls with my brothers, and doesn't discuss her ailments with them.

One day many years ago mom and I were sitting together on her sun porch chatting when suddenly the words coming from her mouth turned into gibberish. She just kept right on talking as though nothing at all was wrong, I was totally freaked out!! I jumped up, grabbed her hands and looked in her eyes and "mom, are you OK?". She paused and then replied, in normal english, that she was fine. After she said that she knew that she felt "queer", but was totally unaware that anything was wrong with her speech. She never had an episode like that again, but she has clearly had many TIAs before and since.

Mom has had TIA's in the past but she was showing no other signs of one last night other than her speech. And her speech was not slurred like it usually is with a TIA it was more of a stutter and a lack of ability to find the word she wanted to use. She has been having a lot of trouble with communications and her abilities fluctuate a lot. She has been this way since her last massive UTI - which we are still fighting (or maybe just fighting the next one).

Mom2mom, that sounds like a TIA. I know I've brought this up before and probably sound like a broken record, but has she be evaluated for that?

Mom suffered from a bout of aphasia last night (can you just have a bout of aphasia?) She could not form words or carry on a conversation at dinner but I finally deciphered that she wanted Greek Bread.

Now, we live about an hour from Greek Town to begin with and most of the stores that I know of there have very limited hours. And I work full time.

But here we sat. Her, suddenly finding the ability of speech... but in fluent Greek, insisting that I serve her Horiatiko bread... and right now.

My mother says that to me a lot about being old. I'm sure she's right, but I don't want to be old just now. It will be my time to be old if and when I get there. Usually when she says it, it is because she wants me to do something that she should be doing herself. I also don't like being told that I owe it to her to take care of her. That is a terrible thing to say to a daughter, particularly if the same isn't said to the sons.

If I hear "someday you will be old and understand" one more time.... Who says I will be old one day? Who says if I make it to old age I will have the same needs and same demands? Who says I won't have learned from this ride and planned my final days so as NOT to need my children to take care of me?

Stating all day long "I hate water'" and barely drinking or going to the bathroom and then calling me for help 5-6 times a night so she can go pee and needs a drink of water... UGH!! I miss SLEEP (Completely dependent can't get around on her own so "on-call" 24/7 I even sleep with a baby monitor.

Kimber, I'm glad that you and your husband are on the same page, at least! With people like this, it would be lovely to cultivate a Phoebe-from-Friends attitude to their invitation and say: "I wish I could! - but I don't want to."

My conversation with my in laws last night (of course they waited until my husband was away on a business trip) wondering which two or three weeks we could come to visit them and help with all of the stuff they need done. Since I'm no longer going up to take care of my dad for three days a month, I should be able to help them out for a couple of weeks, it was the least I could do. I told them no. Nada. Bupkiss. And that our expenses for home repair and car repair are higher than budgeted this year, that my husband and son only would be visiting for a few days in June, but not me. We cannot afford the $2000+ in airfair right now. When they started yelling, I said "i have to go now, my son needs me" hung up, and refused to answer the 10+ times they called last night. Then my husband got a call during a work dinner from them - told them "as Kim said" and hung up. They are pissed off because my BIL/SIL recently told them they are quitting being the ones to do all of the chores at the house and vacation house and that my InLaws needed to hire help or go into assisted living. (yay BIL/SIL - strapped on a pair!!)

I was flabbergasted - they are healthy, just aging. Plenty of money to hire help. Yet we are supposed to spend over $2000 in airfare, and use up all our vacation time, to do work around their house AND their vacation house in the woods. They are angry because we usually come over a weekend plus two days (five total) once a year and then we are heartless enough to only do SOME of the things they ask for.

Last visit I offered to clean the upstairs rooms and bathroom we use because my mother in law doesn't clean (never has) and it was filthy and we were all sneezing due to the dust. They blew a gasket when I refused to wash all of the windows in the house plus thoroughly clean two downstairs bathrooms and the rest of the house, which hadn't been cleaned in ages.

Get this - My FIL planned to take my husband golfing and my MIL take my son to the playground, and I was supposed to stay home and do all of the cleaning and window washing. Continue to day two or three as needed. My husband and I said "no - we'll clean the upstairs since we are using that" but no to everything else. We were lectured, called selfish and chewed out every day, including Easter dinner in front of all of the relatives. Finally my husband looked around the table and commented "you all wonder why we don't come more often???"
We flat out told them - your house, you maintain it - whether you do it yourself or hire someone, if you cannot - you need to move to senior living, but we have our own house to maintain and clean and we were not going to work on their two houses. We reminded them that when they were our age - they were not giving up their vacation time to care for parents' homes, but were enjoying their vacation home for weeks at a time. Explosion ensued. My grandmothers and my husbands grandmothers BOTH chose senior living and assisted living and didn't make anyone their slaves. What is wrong with my parents and my husband's parents?

I can imagine how many responses i'll get for being selfish and so heartless and "someday i'll be old and understand". Foo-hey.

Mom said she had ano itchy lip! All I could do was laugh so hard because it turned out to be the "vaginal lip"! What the what? I still get tickled when I think about it.

I get unreasonable request from my mom all day. She eats cup after cup after cup of ice cream till its gone.. All the while saying. I haven't had any. Smh...But I also agree with cdnreader ..my mom is 85. And as much as she gets on my nerves. When I'm away and I call my mom on the phone. Its something about her voice its beautiful and connects to some portion of my heart and soul....It takes me back to her answering her phone at her shop a business her and my dad made so profitable for 40 years.. Its unbelievable. I actually feel this tugg. Nothing could ever replace it..If I didn't have that I would be empty. I miss my father so much we were so close and this little women is my link. Her dementia takes a toll on our family and she says horrble mean things to me.. But I can't imagine her not here. Life???

My mother wants cup after cup after cup of ice cream. All through the day till its gone. Claiming she hadn't had any.

The answer never varies when dH is asked what he wants to eat. Our drive-thru is an In N Out.
There are several nearby Outback, however, none are drive-thru, Sally.

I used to live down the street from a drive thru Outback Steakhouse. I would brag that I cold get my kookaburra wings without changing out of my pajamas.

Well, spank my a$$ and call me Sally!

You'd think with all the rain we have here in Oregon that we'd have more drive thru's. But noooo, I just endure a steady level of soaked from October- June! Bummer.

Yes, almost everything in Florida has a drive-thru, even some pizza stores and Chinese takeout places. maybe due to our big senior population. Like elevators in 2-story buildings. All over the place here.

Arrrg! The pain, the exhaustion, the injustice and unfairness of it all!!! CarlaCB, your Panera has a drive thru?!!

My Dad had a million of them. He was desperate for some 8 oz bottles of water from the supermarket. Just the right size and the caps were easy to get off. We also had sparklets bottled water in the kitchen, but he didn't want to fill a glass. I got him a case of the small bottles, then went to run some errands. When i got back, I found my brother dumping the bottled water out in the sink, and refilling them with the sparklets bottled water. I was probably a little louder than necessary when I demanded to know what the h*ll was going on here!  My brother wasn't really sure, but was following Dads' instructions.

Ibeenscammed, I love what you say about the gift of hindsight.

Send you can post whatever you like. :)

Knew I should have moved to Canada if I wanted to be free to post.

Susan you shouldn't have deleted your post. We have just as much of a right to say "you might regret it when your parent dies" as anyone else on here has the right to complain about their parent ad nauseum. It is a free country isn't it? Sticking to the theme of the OP's original comment doesn't happen on most threads so what's the diff?

Do we throw the mandarin oranges in top, or mix them in?

tiredReader, I read your post and absolutely guffawed. Momma died two weeks ago and I have not had such a genuine eruption since before her passing. Thank you.

I don't know if it helps...probably depends on your mood in the moment...but she may truly not know how to combine the two - or just fear that she is wrong about how to do it. Hard to believe but it happens. I remember asking my mom what she wanted to drink. We went around it for five minutes and she would not tell me. I asked "do you want coke or milk?" and she would not tell me. I offered other choices with the same result. I was so sick of making every single decision and I just wanted her to make this one decision. Finally, I ranted for two minutes about how it was her drink, it had to satisfy her and she was the only one who could make that decision and I was tired of making all the decisions. Then it hit me like a thunderbolt. I asked her if she knew what the word "drink" meant. She threw her arms out to th e side and said, "I have no idea what you are talking about". In the last 12 hours she had lost the meaning of the word drink.

I had an Uncle with Alz. Who had a rash on his legs so we picked up a prescription lotion for him. My aunt sent him into the bathroom to treat his legs. After 15 minutes he still had not returned. She went to check on him and found that he thought it was a suppository and was trying to figure out how to squirt it into his butt. She had to show him how to spread it onto his legs.

Even when they truly need help with simple things, after a long day it can be really hard to remain patient. There were evenings when I snuck some bourbon into my coke with dinner because it kept me from being snappish.

Never mind...seeing others raked over the coals for expressing remorse, I've deleted my response.  

Umm today... mediating between the ceiling fan and my MIL.... Yes the ceiling fan was having a conversation with her and she was NOT happy with the repies.. No she doesn't have a UTI, just new grannie post 4th stroke.. sundowning can be a biatch,lol

Aaarrrgggghhhh! Something really minor happened today, but it annoyed the heck out of me. I was with my mother, taking her around to her usual weekly errands and shopping. She mentioned that a few days ago the folks at Panera had messed up her order - failed to include her bear claw in it. She didn't have the receipt so it wasn't clear if she had paid for it or not.

She said she was going to complain to them about it, and I asked her nicely not to do it while I was in the car. Reason being she gets so loud and confrontational that I'm embarrassed to be seen with her.

So today we had to go to Panera on our way home to pick up a smoothie for my sister who was sick at home. As we're leaving the first window after ordering, she says to me "You didn't say anything about my bear claw." and I said "No, and I'm not planning to. I asked you not to bring that up while I'm in the car." So as we're being handed our order she shouts rudely at the headset-wearing woman at the window "YOU OWE ME A BEARCLAW!!!" The poor woman had no idea what my mother was yelling about and luckily was more frightened than annoyed. When my mother repeated it, the girl just meekly threw a bearclaw into a bag and handed it out the window. This is just typical of my mother - rude, obnoxious, and zero regard for anyone's feelings but her own.

I completely agree with JesseBelle. No one needs to hear "you'll feel differently when they die" as if you the caregiver has no right to be tired or fed up with putting your life on hold so they can live theirs.

My father moved to AL. I did not unpack all his boxes as I thought it would give himself something to do and help him settle in. A few months go by and he tells me he has no warm clothing. Yes he does, I know it was packed. I had to drive 25 miles to lift the lid off a box marked clothing to show him a box full of sweaters. Another time he said I needed to buy him more shampoo. I did only to find a computer sized box in his closet marked "bathroom' filled with bottles and bottles of shampoo and other necessities. When I asked why he didn't go through these boxes he said he just "didn't get around to it". Seriously? What has he been doing for all those weeks???

Does anyone think I am really going to miss all those trips to the ER and wasting more hours than I can count over frivilous and made up ailments? Or all the times he dumped plans with me because one of his nephews were going to visit? Or all the vacation time I gave up to run him to all those doctors? Or all those phone calls that always started with "I've got a problem..."? Or all the conversations that revolve around what he did in the bathroom.

Please caring for an elder is a very hard job. Please don't condemn those of us who do not find doing this fulfilling. Sometimes you just need to vent and have others tell you they understand what you are going through. The guilt trips are not necessary and quite frankly uncalled for.