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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Call your physician and tell them you think it's time for you go move into an Assisted Living facility and ask them to help you do that. While I personally, think it's awful when a family essentially abandons a person who needs help and care, I also have to consider that there are usually reasons for this. It might be a giant blessing to you that they don't as those who are resentful for having to take care of you might be abusive in their care, rather than loving and caring. At the same time, It important that we ALL remember that NO ONE is EVER obligated to take care of any one else (except a parent taking care of the child). Your questions actually sounds like you're looking for ways to MAKE them take care of you. That, in itself, is a red flag indicator of the reason why they don't want to. Now might be the right time for you to reflect on your relationship with your family, and why they are reluctant to take care of you.
All the answers so far are good for “when your family doesn’t want..to take care of you”. There is no reason why they should – and they may have many personal reasons why they shouldn’t.
‘When your family doesn’t want ..you around” is a bit different. Are you being ‘around’ too much, so that they can’t live their own lives? Put some effort into making your own life independently. Try a senior day care place - if you look about there may be one locally which is enjoyable for you. Senior living places have lots of activities, if you need just a bit of care. Plan for the future, while you can still make it happen and enjoy it!
If none of your family want ANY contact with you, you are probably doing something wrong for them (even pushing or hinting repeatedly that you want them to take care of you). Stand back and look at yourself and your behavior. Remember that your children are not CHILDREN any more - too many elders act as if they are still parents 'in charge'. Perhaps talking things through with a counselor could help you to see where you are going wrong. While you can, you are responsible for your own life and your own happiness.
Since you are looking at the situation, you are doing a lot better than some elders, by wondering what is going wrong. Don’t make things unhappy for yourself and for your family. Work on it!
You will need to figure out who will be your PoA. This is someone you trust, is younger than you, lives locally to you and has enough time from other commitments to manage your affairs. If you don't do this you will become a ward of a 3rd party guardian assigned by a judge. Which is not the worst thing in the world... it got my SFIL the care he needed.
No one can be assumed into caregiving. You need to plan for the worst and hope for the best.
Well you need to plan for your old age. And by plan I don't mean assume someone will take you in. Most of us don't think about this until it is too late. Managing my father's life opened my eyes. I have made sure I can afford assisted living so I won't be running my kids ragged with demands.
Start with Office of Aging. If you have money, or can sell a home, maybe Assisted Living. In my State, if you pay at least two years to an AL that excepts Medicaid you can apply for Medicaid. If you qualify, you can get in home help thru Medicaid and for Long-term care. You would see Social Services for Medicaid.
Does 1965 mean your birthday? If so, I hope your on Social Security Disability.
You need to be proactive. You need to advocate for yourself and stop relying on friends and family to help. If you are in a house you sell the house and move to a Senior apartment or condo. Or into Assisted Living if you need help daily. Or if you do not need help daily you pay a caregiver or other person to come in and help with what you can't do. If you have had a thought of "leaving a legacy" to family get that out of your mind now. Spend what you have to make YOUR life as comfortable and manageable as it can be. IF after you are gone there is something left...great but that should not be your goal.
You can also go to your local Senior Service Center and see if there are programs that you would qualify for that could help you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
‘When your family doesn’t want ..you around” is a bit different. Are you being ‘around’ too much, so that they can’t live their own lives? Put some effort into making your own life independently. Try a senior day care place - if you look about there may be one locally which is enjoyable for you. Senior living places have lots of activities, if you need just a bit of care. Plan for the future, while you can still make it happen and enjoy it!
If none of your family want ANY contact with you, you are probably doing something wrong for them (even pushing or hinting repeatedly that you want them to take care of you). Stand back and look at yourself and your behavior. Remember that your children are not CHILDREN any more - too many elders act as if they are still parents 'in charge'. Perhaps talking things through with a counselor could help you to see where you are going wrong. While you can, you are responsible for your own life and your own happiness.
Since you are looking at the situation, you are doing a lot better than some elders, by wondering what is going wrong. Don’t make things unhappy for yourself and for your family. Work on it!
No one can be assumed into caregiving. You need to plan for the worst and hope for the best.
Does 1965 mean your birthday? If so, I hope your on Social Security Disability.
You need to advocate for yourself and stop relying on friends and family to help.
If you are in a house you sell the house and move to a Senior apartment or condo. Or into Assisted Living if you need help daily. Or if you do not need help daily you pay a caregiver or other person to come in and help with what you can't do.
If you have had a thought of "leaving a legacy" to family get that out of your mind now. Spend what you have to make YOUR life as comfortable and manageable as it can be. IF after you are gone there is something left...great but that should not be your goal.
You can also go to your local Senior Service Center and see if there are programs that you would qualify for that could help you.
You can call center for the aging in your area
More information would be helpful to give you better advice.
Your age, health issues?