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My husband is being cared for at home but we do not have the resources to hire a home health care aide. We have in the past, with financial help, but this can’t be done anymore with the cost being close to $1000 per week for 6 hours a day, when I am at work. We only have our incomes.he has a federal pension and I have Social Security and my part-time job. I am still working at 72 because I cannot afford not to. I have looked into so many resources and as soon as they hear our income, which is not excessive, all I hear is “you make too much for Medicaid.” I have been told about a Miller trust which would not leave us with even enough money to pay our rent. Elder care lawyers are about $7000 where I live and even then it takes a long time to get anything accomplished. In January we will be picking up Medicare part B and possibly an advantage plan which hopefully will help but I’m not sure either one of us can hold on that long. He has not been out of the bed or outside for over 2 months and is getting more depressed by the day. I cannot lift him nor do I have room for a hoyer lift. Our country’s health care system is seriously broken.

Sadly, your question, not being about caregiving itself, but being more about finances, may be better addressed on such Forums as are on www.bogleheads.org. I would join that forum and ask specific financial advice.

Also sadly, you cannot afford now NOT to have the advice of an attorney. It may at some point be necessary to do a division of finances, and to place your husband in care where he will spend down his portion and then be on Medicaid assistance. You will need to know OPTIONS and those are legal. You need information. Sadly, yes this will cost but it will NOT COST 7,000. It MAY cost 700 per hour, but one hour in the office of an elder law attorney is going to get you a lot of information.

You are not alone in your struggles. Everywhere in our country families, beset by every sort of circumstance you can imagine, are struggling to find out how to survive. In our country the medical care system is what is wrought by a choice not to do national health. We have decided we want not to be taxed to the extent that would allow national health. That often leaves families broken when one member becomes ill. VERY OFTEN.

Our own CPA had to do a legal divorce when his young wife was sent into coma and vegetative situation for many years before her death, leaving him with two children to raise. It was the only answer. He remained faithful to her during her life, and many didn't even know of the existance of this divorce, but he HAD to be able to afford care for the raising of his children.

There MAY BE option. You must know what they are. That means you are currently looking at gathering all information about your situation, assets and costs, and looking at seeing an elder law attorney. Find one that will sell you an hour of his/her expertise for a hardsaved 1K.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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In your instance, there would be no assets to split. Your home and a car are exempt assets. If all you have is monthly income, you would get enough to live on if your husband went on Medicaid. You become the Community spouse. As a married couple rules would be different. I only had Mom and it was cut and dry. You can make an appt with a Medicaid caseworker at Social Services. They should be able to help you.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Unfortunatly for all of us medical care is not custodial care. I worry about you because once he passes you will only receive one SS CHECK.
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Reply to MACinCT
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Elder Law Attorneys are not 7,000 anywhere. They ARE as high as 700 an hour, however, and as low as about 400 an hour. What you tell the office is that you are not paying any sort of fee other than hourly, and that you require one or at most two hours of visit.
That should run you high of 1,500 or so.

Then you speak to them about this whole "income being too high" because as I understand it with one of you on SS and one on the Federal program payout, and with no assets, there is no such thing as too high. The Nursing home would take ALL of hubby's assets and then provide care via Medicaid for that portion not covered monthly. ALL of his liquid assets and monthly income would go to his care.

Your own SS wouldn't be touched for his care. That's yours to live on (as I understand it).

The thing is that you cannot now afford NOT to see an attorney. You can't afford to take any advice from a bunch of folks on an elder care Forum (INCLUDING me). You must have the right information. So you will have to seek that out and you will have to pay for it even if it means two months of what Dave Ramsey calls "Beans and Rice and Rice and Beans".

I wish you the best. Each of us have our individual story and our individual division of assets and it is crucial that we have correct information.

You may want to start with Medicaid ITSELF on the phone. Ask for one of their counselors. You will have a long wait, likely an hour or more. They are usually quite helpful once you get them. That's for the easy answers and to give you a leg up on knowing what you need to ask the attorney.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Guestshopadmin Oct 7, 2024
Alva it looks like she wants to keep him at home. That is a different program than custodial care in a nursing home or other facility. An attorney would be best bet to help them figure out available programs and options. If he is a veteran aid and attendance may help pay for caregiver at home.
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Depends on the state, if they will support Medicaid funding. Get an elder care lawyer.
Contact council on aging for support.
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Reply to dogwithav
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If you are planning to place him, you need to talk to a Medicaid caseworker. Usually with a couple you get assets split. But in your instance you have nothing. Community spouses get to stay in the home, have a car and get enough money from monthly income to live on. Not sure how that would work with u having a job.
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