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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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She is competent but I’m scared she will report me. I feel like we are being held hostage by her and her manipulative ways. We are at our wits end with her and her dog peeing all over our house. Anyone been down this road?
Just tell her to "Go Right Ahead, Hopefully they will help you to find a new place to live, since you are so unhappy here".
Remember, that Narcissists try to rule your life through FEAR, OBLIGATION AND GUILT (FOG), and threats like this hits all 3 buttons. Do not play into it, nor worry that any on of them will work, unless you have Something to worry about, which I doubt. If she were to call APS, someone there will hear your side of the story, so you will get your opportunity to speak your mind too, and ask them for guidance on the situation!
Perhaps it's time to remind or Establish some serious house rules.
Example's:
1. This is Our house, so she needs to be respectful, and there is a pecking order, your husband first, yourself, your son (kids), and she is last. Those are the wedding vows you made to your husband.
2. She can remain as long as You feel that the arrangements are working, and that you can manage her care, after that you will help her to find Clean and Safe accommodations geared towards someone with her needs.
3. You are not her waitress, so she needs to help herself with those things that she is capable of doing on her own, if she needs assistance, she can ask, and you will try to accomodate her when you have a moment, no more "Chop-Chop" to her demands, as that is rude, and rudeness will not be tollerated.
4. Everyone participates around here, you will be assigned some chores to help the household duties (like laundry, chopping vegetables, etc... depending on her abilities.
5. She is to participate financially toward household bills.
6. You need alone time with your hubby, so establish a place or time that you want to be alone, and she needs to make sure she respects that. Maybe a set time at night so you can have your TV room to yourselves, plus she is not alowed to enter you bedroom without knocking. Make sure there is a TV and internet in her personal space (her bedroom) for her to use and to retreat to so you can be alone.
Etc, Etc, Etc, ........... Make the rules apply to your own unique household circumstances, but you should have these things established, so that there is no confusion.
Your husband will appreciate that you are taking steps to establish these rules, so that actions can be taken, and his MIL isn't taking over the house, as she certainly will, if she can get away with it!
Think about how you want your home run, now and in the future. Rules can be changed as necessary! You can't give a Narcissistic an inch or they take a mile! Don't be afraid, and don't back down.
You can't stop her reporting you, but that doesn't mean that you will be found to be at fault. This might be the trigger that gets other agencies involved and leads to her going somewhere more appropriate than your home.
Seems like if she does report you, she might be placed into another living situation, so don't understand how she thinks she has any leverage. Seems like it'd be better for everyone if she lived somewhere else anyways. How frustrating! I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Hi. i meant to say can she report us to elder abuse. I feel like we are the ones being abused and she does whatever she wants. She constantly does passive aggressive things to me. Not my husband or my son, just me. I swear she is like a friend emeny
She can do whatever she wants. Not sure if Social Services can do anything. Where I live SS only take care of Medicaid, SSI, SS and foof stamps. Really its Adult Protective Services she wants but we won't say anything.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Remember, that Narcissists try to rule your life through FEAR, OBLIGATION AND GUILT (FOG), and threats like this hits all 3 buttons. Do not play into it, nor worry that any on of them will work, unless you have Something to worry about, which I doubt. If she were to call APS, someone there will hear your side of the story, so you will get your opportunity to speak your mind too, and ask them for guidance on the situation!
Perhaps it's time to remind or Establish some serious house rules.
Example's:
1. This is Our house, so she needs to be respectful, and there is a pecking order, your husband first, yourself, your son (kids), and she is last. Those are the wedding vows you made to your husband.
2. She can remain as long as You feel that the arrangements are working, and that you can manage her care, after that you will help her to find Clean and Safe accommodations geared towards someone with her needs.
3. You are not her waitress, so she needs to help herself with those things that she is capable of doing on her own, if she needs assistance, she can ask, and you will try to accomodate her when you have a moment, no more
"Chop-Chop" to her demands, as that is rude, and rudeness will not be tollerated.
4. Everyone participates around here, you will be assigned some chores to help the household duties (like laundry, chopping vegetables, etc... depending on her abilities.
5. She is to participate financially toward household bills.
6. You need alone time with your hubby, so establish a place or time that you want to be alone, and she needs to make sure she respects that. Maybe a set time at night so you can have your TV room to yourselves, plus she is not alowed to enter you bedroom without knocking. Make sure there is a TV and internet in her personal space (her bedroom) for her to use and to retreat to so you can be alone.
Etc, Etc, Etc, ...........
Make the rules apply to your own unique household circumstances, but you should have these things established, so that there is no confusion.
Your husband will appreciate that you are taking steps to establish these rules, so that actions can be taken, and his MIL isn't taking over the house, as she certainly will, if she can get away with it!
Think about how you want your home run, now and in the future. Rules can be changed as necessary! You can't give a Narcissistic an inch or they take a mile! Don't be afraid, and don't back down.
like it'd be better for everyone if she lived somewhere else anyways. How
frustrating! I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
i meant to say can she report us to elder abuse. I feel like we are the ones being abused and she does whatever she wants. She constantly does passive aggressive things to me. Not my husband or my son, just me. I swear she is like a friend emeny