It's a little after 2AM. I live in a converted apt. in back of my mother's house. I hired a caregiver a little over 2 wks ago supposedly 24/7. She gets days off but it was agreed that she would be here every day from 5PM as mom gets up at odd hours (last night it was 3AM) gets dressed and is on her way out the door. Or like just now, I for some reason went in the house and she'd wet her pants and needed help. Lo and behold, no caregiver. What should I do with her?
On the other hand someone who is prowling the streets at 2AM has a drug problem. Fire her. But forget a 24/7 employee, it's against the law.
I cannot imagine ever, leaving my spot when I am caring for someone at night. Geesh, I don't even take a break, because there usually is a huge reason that someone needs watching at night. These are the Hospice or people that want me to stay up all night long.
Regardless, even if your client is sleeping, it is plain unacceptable. I have written to Sooz, and think she is doing ok, she I believe is looking for another care giver, and is getting (I hope) a lot of advice from people here.
We need to stick together.
The school or college student would work if you needed them at night, then you would find someone for the two hours in the am, and could do that for a cheaper amount.
You could also be like a parent waiting for their teenager to get home: Sit in the living room, in the dark, & when she walks in the door, turn the light on & ask her where she was. If she tried to give you some excuse, ask her why she didn't call you & ask if she could leave instead of just walking out & leaving your mother by herself, which is the exact reason why you hired her in the first place----so your mother wouldn't be alone at night!!!
If you really want this person out, then you have to make adjustments to your own life too. The doctor's appointments may be necessary, but meetings with lawyers & bankers can be postponed. Your mother is the priority right now, don't you agree?
If you can't find another caregiver for what you're willing to pay that will stay with her 24/7, then you're going to have to put her in a long term care facility so she can be supervised & not wander during the night----you have no other choice.
Let this person go at once.
You might get a student to jump at the chance but they will be burnt out after a few weeks, then you will be back to square one.
I agree with ba8alou, maybe it is time for your Mother to be in an assistant care facility. If something would happen to you, then what?
You fire her.
At least that's the way it works in Michigan. Someone can change his/her address with the Michigan Secretary of State, w/o permission from the person who owns the property. It happened to my father.
Ba8alou, wouldn't you think that at sometime these people would figure out their tactics? Or maybe they're dumber than we realize. Maybe that's why - they're too stupid to get a job.
Make time. TODAY. RIGHT NOW. Appointments can be rescheduled; if they're more important than addressing this issue, then acknowledge it but don't pretend to be upset and irate and then present an excuse for not acting.
You've given her 2 excuses; don't vascillate with any more just because you've got appointments. If they're more important than your mother's care, then you need to rethink your whole caregiving role.
At-will employment should have been established when you hired her. If you gave her any inclination that her employment would be with you for a while, for any length of time, or represented anything other than that her employment could be terminated at will, you can't invoke it now in firing her.
Did you do a background check on her? If not, why not?
Ba8alou is right; get professional help and start working on Medicaid qualification today.
And for crying out loud don't hire someone from an Internet site.
1. What State do you live in.
2. I have some ideas. $1,500 per month for a student that includes room and board sounds really great. It sounds like she works the hours that are at night. Studen'ts have an abidance of energy, and possibly if you found a nursing student, or go to the college and see if there is anyone wanting to get something put on their resume for the next 6 month's. I know many adult children that would jump at this. I will review back to see if you did put any sort of (nursing student to be, or aide would be perfect). When typing here, I can see and feel, you sound exhausted.
Let me see what else. Facility, correct. What about a 2 week respite stay at an skilled or adult living facility. If I new what state you lived in that would help, because I would pop on the internet. I might email you and ask you some more.
Also, like I said, you DO have the tiME. I am sorry for your ailments. BUt APS Adult Protective Service would remove her from the home if you stated that, and that is NOT a StrESS YOU NEED, I can feel.
SHE cannot afford agencies. You can hire a individual, which is where I do all my marketing, and yes, there are good candidates, and not qualified, and you set up an account, put your zip code in and write what you need. You would be amazed at what you get. I am sorry for your health, this is a matter of finding any family friends acquainted.
People know people, regardless of where you live. You need to write one thing, go around to all of your senior care and health care agencies ask them for permission "That diagnosis allow;
I will email you from your personal email page, and now, regardless, it is public information, and you have no choice. The sooner the better.
I think it's weird that the caregiver goes out at night. What is she doing?