I got an urgent call from my Dad-77yrs in North Carolina (I live in CA but currently in Mexico on vacation). He has progressive MS and is bedridden, he struggles with talking for long periods and his phone access is limited (I often call and get no answer). Married 4-5yrs
He called me saying, he overheard them talking outside his hospital room that they had got his coin and stamp collection worth (100's of thousands) and were selling the car and had moved 250K to another account. She had nothing coming into the marriage all assets were his.
I did not even get to find out what hospital he was at as he said he had to go because he saw they were at the house and called 911. He was due for surgery today and I have not heard back from him and his phone is going straight to VM.
Due to his health, I know she had requested him to add her name to everything in case something happened. I do not know if she has PoA and to what she has access.
I have looked into what I can do to assist from so far away, until I can get more info, I cannot fly back.
So far I have found:Contact Adult Protection ServicesEldercare/Divorce LawyerBank Account -Fraud/Freeze, get transactional informationStatus of a WillLife Insurance Policy
Is there anything else I should be doing to assist and protect him and his finances?
It is totally possible he is having delirium or paranoia. Even if you aren't your Dad's PoA the only real way to know what's going on is to go there and spend a few days. There's no other way to protect him if she is a predator. If she is, and she's his PoA then this is a dire situation because she's married and is his PoA, so you don't have much power in this situation unless you Dad has enough capacity to assign you as his PoA and you accept this role.
I'm sorry for this stressful situation, but you really must act asap because IF she is a predator they know what they're doing and will drain everything before you can blink an eye.
My Fil had ICU delirium coupled with AFIB after cancer surgery. He swore he was being held against his will in Tobyhanna PA, that the hospital workers were stealing his property and poisoning his food, along with calling people some really horribly racist names. None of these behaviors were normal for him whatsoever and were a direct result of the delirium/AFIB. And after, he had absolutely no recollection of what had happened to him.
As others have said, call the hospital/nurse's station and try to find out what his diagnosis is and if he's having any sort of hospital delirium before you try and go all Scorched Earth on his wife.
The stamps have to be pre 1930’s and not in an album and in mint condition (unused, never been glued, pristine condition) and then you might get $25 for it.
It's doubtful his stamp and coin collections are worth much; almost unheard of to be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.
If he has MS and is bedridden, he can't drive, so it would make sense to sell his car.
Moving $250,000 to another account might have a valid reason as well, such as making it more accessible to pay for his care.
Unless the hospital is right next door to his home, how would he see that they were at the house? Does he have Ring or other cameras connected to his phone? But if he shares the house with his wife, then she's allowed access to the house.
Or yes, his wife might be taking advantage of him financially.
If you aren't on his accounts and don't have any legal authority such as his POA, you really can't do much now other than ask the local APS to go to the hospital and interview him and determine whether there is any substance to his concerns. So you should do that. They may or may not be allowed to report back to you what they find.
You can also find out what hospital he's in and call the nurses' station on his floor and report that he made a very agitated phone call to you, and ask that his state of mind be assessed and ask that they call APS on his behalf. Again, they may or may not be able to report back to you, but at least you will have taken action on his behalf. If he's having agitation/paranoia/delirium, they should know that so they can medically treat it to calm him down.
For the long term, if he's mentally competent he can choose to assign his POA to you to be used if and when he becomes incompetent. But you need to decide if you want that responsibility, because you will have to manage his affairs from afar. Or he can add you to his accounts and you can help him manage them. But is that something you really want to do?
If he's not competent now, he can't assign you his POA. You could help by finding an Elder Law attorney in his area, who could advise him on what he can and can't do to protect himself from financial abuse or neglect by his wife, if he wants to pursue that.
When he's calmed down you can ask him if he has a will, when it was made or last updated, where it is, and what attorney handled it. The same with any beneficiary accounts, so that you have a basis of information in case his wife acts unethically after he passes away. But that will be up to him to share that information with you, and he may be inaccurate, which is why it's important to get the name of the attorney, who would have the record.
It's certainly upsetting. There may or not be substance behind it. I wish you well in sorting it out.
If dad comes out of surgery, begins to recover and is mentally competent, and if he wants to consult with an attorney, you might find one who would come to the hospital or to wherever he's recovering. Dad would have the right to meet privately with his lawyer rather than with his wife or anyone else in attendance.
Then there is always the possibility that dad didn't hear what he thought he did, none of this is happening, and it's all a figment of the imagination of a very sick man. You can't count that out!
If not, you cannot do anything.
Wife is considered next of kin. If she is on papers and is POA and is MPOA, and has access to accounts she is free to do as she wishes with them.
Clearly you haven't been in excellent contact here given the gravity of your Dad's diagnosis; but certainly it is too late now.
If you father wishes to see an attorney he should call social services in his hospital, request PRIVATE interview, and request an attorney to do legal papers; he will be examined for competency to do so.
Sorry. This is often the case in second marriages where the children and the second spouse do not get along.
As to your father's condition in the hospital, if you are not POA there is nothing you can learn by speaking to doctors. You CAN warn Social Workers as to what he told you, let them know you are repeating his words and cannot get hold of him. THEY can reassure you as to whether you Dad is stable, or whether you should now fly to his side.
I am very sorry. I wish you the best.
I would contact an attorney local to dad and find out what you can legally do to protect him.
My dad had a scum bag ho for a wife and she took everything, multimillions, leaving him penniless and sick near death, no legal recourse available against her at all, she was after all, legal next of kin and had his permission to access his money.
I found that I had to let it all go, his bad choices had dire consequences and they were ALL his, I wasn't paying for his bad choices, no matter what. This was the hardest part, helping him without getting sucked in.
Best of luck protecting your dad in his hour of need.
You can call the hospital about his well-being, they might tell you how his surgery went and if he is doing well. Then again, they might not if she has any say in who gets information.