I'm at the point of 'purging' friends. I have one friend in particular, who used to be a caregiver for her mom, who never emails, calls or gets together unless I push the issue. She even said she only wanted to get together after I'm done caregiving. I have such little free time, being a 24/7 caregiver, I want to start only spending time with people who are more uplifting. Is anyone else experiencing this? Sometimes I think I'm just being oversensitive because of the stress of caregiving for my mom.
I also read somewhere to go to events and not say a a word about your problems so that no one knows to ask you about them later when you don't feel like talking about them or the problem has passed. I tend to brood, fester and wear my problems on my sleeve so I tried this and found that it gives me a mental break and people seem to like me better than when I b*tch too much!
You could find something new that interests you such as a bookclub or check meetup.com where there are all sorts of groups--hiking, yoga, language study, knitting. You're bound to meet some nice people and it will give you something to look forward to.
And I think one is drifting away. We have been invited to visit but I don't feel comfortable taking DW on a long road trip.
The other doesn't visit very often but she will visit or call sometimes.
The only way to visit with the others is to go play bingo, which DW no longer can do. We have actually gone there and the "friends" only has a few seconds to say HI before running off to play.
I wait and hope someone will call or visit. I doubt it will ever happen.
The same for my contacts. Nothing.
I am not a full time care giver tho. my moms in AL.
I do have a friend and she will do that. we don't text on and on...but just to say HEY im thinking of you. and that helps so much.
Yes, find people who love being with you and go out of their way for you.
He has not said, once, in 12 years that he feels "fine" If I ask, then it's ALWAYS "I'm so very sick" I'm so very tired" I'm so worn out"..to others he'll put on a "face" but we don't go out or socialize with anyone but our own kids.
Married couples are uncomfortable going out with (essentially) single women. Single women don't want a married woman hanging around them. It's kind of a lose-lose situation.
Maybe you could check with local hospitals or office of the Aging and see if there are any caregiver support group around. You're bound to make new friends there,no? It's worth a shot.
Good luck .