I am at lost and desperate need some advice. My father, who is over 90 year old, doesn't seem to have serious Alzheimer's disease. He is okay in short memory, but he has illusion a lot of time. He also has Parkinson’s disease for 20 years. He does have issues to go to the bathroom, so he wears adult diaper. But lately, his diaper gets very wet and even pooped on it without knowing it. As you can imagine how messy it is. He is behaving like a baby. We try to ask him to change diaper, but he insists he is fine and gets very angry. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have this type of experience? What should I do? What kind of doctor I should take him to see?
You'd think "Can't they SMELL it??" and yes, they can. but can't equate the smell with something they've forgotten they've done.
I think treating this with calm dignity and just getting him cleaned up is the first priority, HugeMom's wording for her hubby is perfect. My mother refers to her depends as Diapers--but we don't.
And be firm. I know my FIL would have a bowel loss and sit all day in it, rather than shower and clean up. And he wore thong underwear. So--just imagine, no "containment" whatsoever. Lots of sores, raw skin and pain, and it all could have been avoided.
It would have helped if my DH, his SON had said something to him, but he never would and never did. Maybe if another man spoke to him about it, you'd get some cooperation. IDK
My mom, same age, is more or less continent, but usually refuses to change her clothes or to bathe. Drives me nuts. She lives in an "independent" apartment, does not recognize her age-related failings, and turns my trying to get her to wear a clean shirt into a power struggle: me against her, my treating her as less-than-an-adult versus her resisting any step towards dependence. Your situation seemed similar to mine.
Don't have any total solutions, except that (just as with toddlers) it's better not to let the power struggle escalate. I try distraction, good-humored bribes ("Oh, you know the rule about riding in my car! Gotta have clean clothes!"), and blaming it on others ("When your son gets here, he'll wonder why we haven't done something about that stain"). Logic and common sense no longer work. Because of my schedule, I've resisted showing up in morning before she gets dressed and simply taking away the soiled clothes before she puts them back on, but I suppose that's inevitable.
If I were you I would try to get him on a bathroom schedule, encourage him to go to the toilet before and after meals or every couple of hours. By doing this you not only may be lucky enough to catch his BM's in the toilet, but have the opportunity to change a wet/soiled pull up.
If he has constant diarrhea he can have c.diff. I'd call his PCP or whomever his provider is and report diarrhea so they can test for c.diff - which means he just goes #2 nonstop.
If that isn't the case call the doctor and ask if it's ok for your dad to take Imodium.
We are not doctors here on this site so please call his doctor for guidance.
Try leaving a bedside commode next to his bed so if he can't make it to the BR he can have quick access to get on the pot.
Evaluate if he has been eating any new food that is making him go #2 more frequently. Limit his fluids approx 3 hrs before his bedtime.