My Dad passed away tonight, and I am in bits because we had left the nursing home just 20 mins before. He seemed settled, and I thought he had a day or 2 left, but I got the call in car and feel so guilty. I wish the nurse could have been a bit more specific as to how long he realistically had left, because I would have stayed.
Anyway, I guess this is just to say that we thought she had round-the-clock care and she still managed to be alone when she actually died. Having been through that experience with her, I really do believe what I've heard about dying being work, the way labor is, and something every person ultimately does alone, even with loved ones right there at your bedside. If that makes any sense.
If you were just there 20 minutes earlier, how can you possibly feel guilty?
You didn't cause it, nor had any control over it. Of course if you KNEW the exact time, you would have stayed. You came in awful close to me. You did good.
So sorry for your loss.
You didn’t fail your dad! He loved you so much that he made sure you wouldn’t watch his death. This really was a gift to you. I promise.
It happens, the pass after everyone leaves, my sister did it to. We all had just got home from visiting her when Dad called and said she had passed.
Dying when loved ones leave is so very common that you have nothing to feel guilty about, as you did nothing wrong.
What you're feeling now is grief, not guilt, so please call it by the right word as that will help you better move forward.
You say that your dad was "settled" when you left which means that he got to die settled and in peace. You really can't ask for more than that.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Mom passed 5 minutes after I left. I was driving down the road when I got the call from the RN.
I find comfort in knowing that Mom did not struggle and passed peacefully. I also find comfort in knowing I was with Mom for the long haul.
My dad died in his sleep so I wasn’t there and didn’t get to say goodbye. It is what it is.
No one can say when a patient will die, please do not dwell on this.
I pray that you receive grieving mercies, comfort and peace during this difficult time. I do believe that some people do not want the last memory of them to be their death and they do wait for their loved ones to be out of the room.