Mom keeps trying to reverse decisions she and dad made to live in a very nice independent living apartment, so dad can have his meals catered, etc. while mom ws in the hospital. She is very frail and has an in-home nurse in the apartment 11-13 hours each day. My sister and I have set up a living trust, with their credit union and an attorney as financial POAs, specifically to avoid any misunderstanding between our parents and their estate. Regardless, mom has become very paranoid that dad is spending their money fooliishly on himself and we daughters, and is denying dad minor purchases, and complsining to her nurse that they can't afford her per their contract. She is constantly waking up at night demanding thair financial papers, and cursing us and her nurse, telling us that she wishes dad would just die and leave her their money.
Mom and dat have enough money to live on for quite a long time, which was shown to them using a financial plan calculated by their credit union. Her nurse keeps calling in tears, as she is getting the full force of her abuse, and is afraid for my dad. The facility has a skilled nursing facility, but they don't want her to return due to her behavior during her last stay.
Is there any way we can declare her incompetent due to her irrational behavior? She is very manipulative, and could probablyfool people into feeling sorry for her.She has done so before, never desitating to lie and cry on demand..
Question: Incompetent and irrationl,or just plain old mean?
From experience I can only say you must do what you believe is RIGHT, if not what is BEST for your circumstance. Pray for wisdom, search, wait then apply whatever God has brought to you. And it will probably be more than one solution. That way whatever choice you make with the options given to you, you will not be wrong.
However, we would love it if you kept coming back to learn from those of us who walk a mile in similar shoes every hour of every day. We would be very grateful for the benefit of your suggestions on topics that fit in with YOUR life experiences.
Services to report your Dad as an 'elder at risk?' Elder Services may be able to take some of the burden off you and your family. Best wishes on this difficult dilemma.
Try diverting the subject at hand OFTEN - get a medical POA - and move forward with her care. Competency issues are tough at best.
Best wishes...
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