My father is the POA and lives out of state. I moved here almost 5 years ago to help my other set of grandparents and I found out how bad this set had gotten. I have uncles and cousins here but nobody helps. My father says they say they are getting rid of things and when he visits, he says he won’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do. It’s floor to ceiling in the guest bedroom and bathroom and in the walk-in area, living room, kitchen, and dining room with just a narrow pathway from the front door to their bedroom with a tiny trail to the kitchen sink and refrigerator and their washer and dryer. They don’t get rid of anything and they keep buying things. You can smell urine from outside. They have a dog. Grandma and the dog are incontinent. Grandpa does everything for Grandma. My father is the POA and refuses to force them to move against their will and keeps saying they say they are getting rid of things. My father lives out of state but visits. My father’s brothers and their children all live in the area but nobody really visits because it’s too gross. My throat hurts and I get itchy if I am in there for longer than maybe 20 minutes. I have been trying for almost 5 years but nobody will help me and nothing has improved. I don’t know who to talk to but I want to anonymously report this situation so they can get forced out of their trailer and into assisted living. Please, help me!
https://dhs.iowa.gov/DependentAdultProtectiveServices/Families
If your grandparents are considered to still be competent to manage their own affairs then you may not have any options right now. Still, it certainly couldn't hurt to get them on the radar screen of the authorities.
I will champion elders' rights to autonomy until I am blue in the face, but the other side of that coin is that you have to be alert to signs that they're not following their own wishes, they're just scared stiff of what happens next. The answer is to make a plan they are happy with, it's not to carry on regardless until somebody gets hurt.
If you can't do this soon, or you don't think it'll get you anywhere, then act on Snoopy's really helpful information without delay. It's the right thing to do: no matter how anxious you feel about "calling APS on them", remember that it's *nothing* compared to how you'll feel if somebody else does.
Call the local Senior Center. Often they have social workers that may be able to help. (If they can't they may be able to point you in the right direction.)
Call Adult Protective Service if there is one in your area.
Call the Health Department
Call the Fire Department.
Hoarding in most areas is not "legal" and they can be forced to make changes or if they can't or your father will not step in to do anything there is a good possibility that they will be removed from the home and they will have Guardians appointed. This is not the ideal situation as it will cause quite a bit of stress. For all parties.
But it sounds like this is something that has to be done for their safety. So do NOT feel guilty.
Mother's hoarding is pretty mild, since we simply insist that papers and garbage and bags of wet pads and depends GO OUT at least bi weekly. And, WOW does she get mad when I take the newspapers to the recycle bin. It's kind of picking your poison, really. Since she lives in an apartment in a home--the smell travels to the rest of the house pretty seriously. And she's mad at my SIL for complaining for the smell!! I think when you live in someone else's home, you should at least attempt to follow some basic rules.
Addressing the "hoard" is EASY. Addressing the underlying mental illness is nigh to impossible. I actually have never known a "cured" hoarder.
If the case is really bad and the hoarder just freaks out over "loosing their life"..get as many clear plastic bins as you can and just pack those. If they are the clear ones, they seem to calm the hoarder a little as they can see inside) Mother has about 20 in the storage area in the crawlspace. It's ALL garbage and will be thrown away after she dies. It's time to do that again, although we did this about 3-4 years ago, she never forgave me and I am not allowed to so much as scrape the coat of dust off her dead plants. She did recently let my niece cull her closet, only because she didn't have the strength to push aside one item to see another. Niece reported she "gave away" maybe 10 things.
I have long since given up trying to help her. If she gave me 2 days with carte blanche---she'd come home to a clean, sweet smelling MUCH more spacious living environment. Which she would absolutely HATE.
And that will NEVER happen. Never.
I am referred to the heartless daughter who throws away everything.
Good luck to you. My heart goes out to you.
For five years, I spent many weekends and days off work to jump on cleaning when my dad indicated he wanted to fix the problem. We would get an area usable, I'd come to visit the next weekend and everything was back as though nothing was done.
Mom had me take her to the hospital and they called APS due to her poor hygiene. Dad let them in the house. APS had the police check out the house. I talked to the detective who said there is no law against hoarding if they are of sound mind.
The end result was that mom had to stay with me until she got better (five years) and moved to independent living. Dad was allowed to stay in his house until he was hospitalized twice due to a severe infection. He was discharged to my house because he couldn't get healthy in his own house. Today, the house is an expensive storage building.
I'm giving you my example of how a similar situation turned out. It could be handled differently with the authorities in your area. I feel for you wanting to fix the mess. Unfortunately, your grandparents don't see a mess, they see treasures and a livable home. The laws have much gray area regarding hoarding and elders.