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Hello, I currently have been living with my grandmother for the past 2.5 years. She will be turning 98 this weekend. I have a background in care and working with the elderly and she has care 4 times a day through a care agency for her personal care needs as I am not able to assist her as one person however, I cover every other aspect of the house, cooking, shopping, appointments, companionship etc. recently her sleep pattern has become inconsistent which, is to be expected but this has meant that I am being left with little to no sleep. I can’t sleep in the day as I have my own priorities to deal with as well as hers but she’s has stopped sleeping for periods in the night and is calling for me all the time.

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It’s time to place grandma in an SNF ( skilled nursing facility ) where there is staff 24/7.

Even if you brought in help overnight at home , she may yell for you and keep you awake .
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to waytomisery
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It's time to put grandma in a facility, or get some night time help. You need to sleep.

I did some night caregiving, slept with a baby monitor. You never get the rest your body needs. Your not getting any rapid eye movement sleep , without that you will never feel rested, and you can only go on like that for so long.

I'm sure day time you can hardly function, and maybe a bit moody. I'm sorry it sounds like you are doing an amazing job, but this job just gets to be to much . It takes a community sometimes, she will have that community in a facility.

Best of luck
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Yelling for you often is probably Shadowing, which is a dementia behavior, as is her disturbed sleep pattern.

If she is bedbound, then transitioning her into a good, local LTC facility would be best. Medicaid covers LTC when one also qualifies financially.

Is anyone her PoA? Who has been managing her financial and medical affairs and legally making decisions on her behalf? Does she have a Advance Healthcare Directive (aka Living Will)? A DNR?

Does she have a medical diagnosis of cognitive impairment and/or memory impairment?

At this point you can do very little to increase her quality of life, therefore the caregiving arrangment needs to work mostly for you, since you are young, and are a priority so that you don't burn out. You need to work and have a life at the same time your Grandma gets the care she needs, just from someone other than you now.

It would be help us give you the best, most specific guidance if you could fill in the context with more information.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Is she sleeping during the day? If so, can the help try to keep her awake? Make sure she gets sunlight in the morning to tell her body it's time to be awake. Maybe melatonin at night? Or something to calm her down like trazadone or whatever her doctor thinks would be best for her.

You certainly can't going without sleep. So if nothing works in the near future, as others have said, it's time to place her.
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Reply to againx100
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Lydia86, I always cringe whenever I read that a grandchild is taking care of a grandparent. Too many times I see where the grandchild used up their savings to help out. Your profile doesn't say what are the health issues with your grandmother. Is she mobile? Any dementia? Major illnesses? Is your grandmother self-paying for the caregivers or is she using Medicaid (which is different from Medicare)?

Please note that over 40% of family caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were caring. Those are not good odds. What would happen to grandmother if something happened to you? Would she go into a nursing home? If yes, why not start looking for a nursing home now, before its too late on your part.
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Reply to freqflyer
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