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My niece made a deal with my Mom. The niece promised to remodel her basement with a handicapped bathroom by November 2022 so Mom could live there. In return my mom would buy her a used car and my Mom would give her gorgeous house in Maine to her for free. Me and my brother agreed because we are both in 60’s and we can’t physically or financially take care of our Mom. My Mom put her on the deed in April and nothing she promised has happened. She’s done no work on the basement, is driving my deceased sister's car from 2007, still living in Maine and it's already August.


Has anyone gone through this?

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I wish everyone would come to these boards BEFORE they start signing over or promising their homes in exchange for a place to live or free care. Even if your niece has only good intentions for providing a home for your mother it is unlikely to be as rosy as everyone would hope. So, you and your brother are in your 60's, which probably puts your mom in her 80's and your niece in her 40's. Your mom is in a situation where she will likely soon need more care than just a handicapped bathroom in the basement. Is your niece supposed to provide all that care as part of this deal? It's highly unlikely that she will be able to do that (you'll find lots of evidence of that on these boards). By giving her the house, the Medicare look-back of 5 years means you may have 5 years of providing care for your mother should she suddenly need nursing home care - think a stroke, broken hip, any number of things can occur such that she can no longer be cared for at home. Get to an Elder Attorney ASAP to see what the steps are to assure that her assets and her plans going forward are sound. The house deal may be a lost cause but she still needs to appoint financial and medical POA and have some counseling legal ramifications of her current planning
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is tour Mother of sound mind? Find a real estate lawyer and have Mom remove niece from the deed.
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This should be Mom’s problem. Why isn’t she dealing with niece?
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🌻
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How old is your niece? Early 20's? She isn't really even an adult yet.

I'd talk TO her.

So many things could have happened. The supply chain is broken so badly--we've been waiting for 6 months for patio doors. IDK if we will ever get them.

Trying to do a remodel when you are NOT experienced in it is a nightmare. Maybe you can help Jasmine out with some sage advice, before you start pointing fingers. A 15 yo car is hardly something to ruin family relationships over.
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BurntCaregiver Aug 2022
Exactly right, Midkid. A 15 year old car is nothing to ruin a family relationship over.
Only I'm thinking the OP (Bekind2022) has a lot of gaps in the her version of things.
The grandmother is HER mother, not her niece's. Between herself and her brother they can't at least communicate with the niece and find out what's going on?
My guess is the niece is young and wants to back out of having grandma move in. She's probably afraid to say so because she doesn't want to let everyone down.
How many times in my 20's did I get railroaded into baby-sitting someone's old person or kid for free because I didn't want to let anyone down. Too many times.
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First of all it's only August 2022. Not November 2022. Your niece could be delayed for any number of reasons.
So, why don't you and your brother try talking to her instead of about her.
You say she's driving your deceased sister's 15 year old car. Was that sister her mother? If she was, then I'd say your niece has a lot more right to the vehicle than you or your brother do.
Do you have a legal agreement in writing stating that your niece agrees to do this remodeling to her home and have your mother moved in by a certain date?
Unless you have a contract with her, you can't hold her to anything.
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If the remodel is scheduled in Maine it could very well be delayed for months. I've been remodeling two cottages for months. Delays in material (a shower on order since last December), contractor delays because of worker shortages, etc. Remodeling an apartment building Pittsburgh PA with many of the same problems. Your niece may have very valid reasons for not having installed the bathroom. There are permitting delays in some municipalities because of staffing shortages.
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You Mom should have not turned anything over until her niece abided by her agreement. And as said, this could effect your Mom getting Medicaid in the future. Why did your Mom not just sell her home and with the proceeds go into a nice AL or independent living. Did she expect the niece would take care of her? I so hope there was a written agreement.

Yes, time for a lawyer.

P.S. Where is Mom living now.
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Bekind2022, have you asked your niece about the remodeling?

It could be she has a contractor all lined up but he can't start work until later in the year. With covid slowing down remodeling in 2020 and 2021, this year people have been busy updating.
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Hire an attorney like, yesterday. She has been scammed.
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BurntCaregiver Aug 2022
Not necessarily. The remodeling could be delayed for some reason or another.
Unless the mother has a written, legal contract with her niece agreeing to do these home renovations by a certain date in exchange for a propery and a used car, there is nothing a lawyer can do.
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If your niece will not deed it back to mom get a lawyer. You could start by calling Adult Protective Services. What niece has done is called exploitation and a felony. Maybe all niece needs is the threat of that to do the right thing.

And mom should not be giving any assets away. If she needs care and Medicaid, she will be penalized and not eligible for medicaid assistance because of the gift.

Mom NEEDS to see an elder law attorney, NOW!
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Did this get put in writing?

Did a lawyer look it over?

Has your niece always been trustworthy and true to her word?

What does she say when you ask about the schedule for her gma to move in?
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