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My cousin is currently in rehab and looking at hiring a live-in home health aide. Her other alternative is to seek admission to a nursing home. She is in a wheelchair and needs assistance with bathing, food prep, and just daily life. I am wary of hiring live-in help. I live 100 miles from her and cannot be her live-in caregiver myself, and there is no other family. Does anyone have experience with hiring live-in 24/7 caregivers? What pitfalls should she be aware of? Her finances are limited.

She would probably do better financially in a Skilled Nursing facility. (aka "nursing home")
For a Live in caregiver you still need to pay a living wage, you need to have a back up because 1 person can not work 24/7/365.
Add to that you must pay legally taxes, have workmen's comp, make sure your home is insured properly in case of injury.
"Room and Board" is not payment for caregiving.
If necessary begin the application process for Medicaid ASAP.
Your cousin should talk to the Social Worker at the rehab facility.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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CousinCare 4 hours ago
Thank you so much - I had not even considered the taxes, WC, insurance, etc., and I doubt very much if she has thought about them either. I do recall now that when my mom had an in home aide come a few hours a week - mostly to make sure she got up the stairs to bathe safely, help her with bathing, and make sure she got down safely, and do a little cooking and cleaning - I went through an agency to make them responsible for the taxes, etc. Thank you for the reminder about these considerations!
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“Her finances are limited” This will likely preclude hiring a live in caregiver as live in help is cost prohibitive for most people. It’s far more expensive than a facility. Otherwise, anyone willing to do it for a lesser amount is in their own desperate position and not someone you should trust in the home
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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If you search this forum you will find numerous posts detailing the headaches and pitfalls of hiring a live-in aid. I personally would never do it.

The aid needs to earn some actual cash in order to live properly. There are also numerous posts from live-in aids who also regret the arrangement.

If she has limited resources she can maybe consider going into a good facility that accepts Medicaid on private pay initially and then going through the application process (she needs to qualify both medically as needing LTC and financially).

Please find those posts and have her read them -- they are eye opening.

Also, hoping your cousin has assigned a PoA and has all her other legal ducks in a row. Never be tempted to pay for her care, even if she asks. The monthly cost can be in the thousands, and sometimes in the tens of thousands.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Is your cousin going home on hospice?

If not, she really should find a nursing home and apply for Medicaid.

I am sorry for your family, my sister died of breast cancer and it truly took a village of friends and family to have her at home on hospice. One person would have never been able to handle it.

As far as you paying, solid no, she has public resources available.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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So much. The care giver will have to have days off, so another person will need to be hired for those days. The care giver might get sick and need time off. It will be really expensive, as room and board are not considered payment for care, so if your cousin has limited finances, that might make the idea not even be possible. How long will your cousin be in a wheelchair? You say caregivers. Is the house huge? And I wouldn't even want to get into all the paperwork involved. Others here will have advice on that part of live-in care.
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CousinCare 8 hours ago
Thank you for your insight. My cousin has a one bedroom apartment - the proposal is that the live-in caregiver would have the bedroom and my cousin would live in the living room. Shared bathroom. Not much privacy for either of them. I was her caregiver for the period between Christmas and New Year's - had to call 911 New Year's Night and then she was hospitalized for 12 days. She is Stage 4 breast cancer, and because of how the cancer is expressing itself, she has little use of her right arm and hand - meaning she cannot use a walker. The apartment is not ADA - bathing requires a transfer seat. I am being asked to pay for the HHA for two months.
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I would not take on POA work from 100 miles away. And this is essentially what you are being asked to do whether you are designated POA or not. This will become more and more and more complicated and I think you understand that already.
If she needs help in managing this it's a good sign that she's not capable of being home at this time.

I would tell her you can't/won't handle this for her.
Rehab is the perfect place to go into care from with the help of their discharge planning. It will be much more difficult if she returns home in need of this level of care and is alone and helpless.

This gets a big "NO!" from me, or a more gentle "I am so sorry; I couldn't possible help with that; I don't feel anything like competent to do that".

Speak to discharge planning TODAY by phone to tell them you can't assist. And caution them against an unsafe and unwise discharge home from their facility.
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CousinCare 8 hours ago
Unfortunately, although there is no other family, there is a close friend who is urging the live-in HHA. Said friend has even done virtual interviews to find someone willing to fill the role - assuming I will pay for it, which I have not agreed to do. I had offered to pay for my cousin to be in AL for two months, but now it is clear she needs a higher level of care than AL. The friend and cousin are asking if - instead of AL - I would pay for live-in HHA. Not at all comfortable with the whole idea.
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