I lost my mother 2.5 yrs back and ever since i have been the primary caregiver of my father who had a massive brain haemorrhage which left him left side paralytic.
He's cognitive skills have declined and he is usually in a bad bad mood out of boredom.
He used to enjoy the stock market and reading newspaper and kept himself occupied but all of a sudden he doesn't want to do either. I understand he's bored and lonely but it gets difficult for me to engage him in a conversation since he lashed out at me for everything.
I'm pregnant and it gets difficult at times to manage my own health and his.
What kind of activities can I engage him with? I'm really lost! Oh, he feels that I have taken away his authority which is what makes him hate me.
Any advice?
First work on your mindset. Expect a decline and worsening of the situation, plan for it and be ready. It will be even more challenging when the baby arrives. Sometimes accepting allows us to get over the "living the problem" toward "solving the problem"
2. What's your support network like? Other family, friends, caregiving help, community, etc. You are going to need help. Start building your team now!
3. Talk to him constantly, about things he used to enjoy. Engage w him and let him lash out, he needs to do that, agree with him on some of it, and talk him thru others.
4. Find out what daycare programs are available in your area he can qualify for.
5. Read to him or listen to music together. Sometimes that helps a lot.
6. Most important, and this is for you: Stay positive no matter what, he will feed off your energy! Be patient with yourself, talk to someone about what you are going through and vent out. You'll feel the diff instantly, then get back to problem solving mode.
You can do this! :-)
Best,
Claudio