I'm an only child and the unplanned sole caregiver for my mom and stepfather. After a self-destructive period of burnout (I didn't know how to take a respite break), I can't deal with it. I want to help—at the very least I want to see my parents—but I seem to be unable to go there. It's so overwhelming and I am now crippled with guilt.
It is a benefit to your mother to have contact with you. Therefore, the people responsible for her welfare should welcome your interest in re-establishing your relationship, and they should be ready to help you. Little things first, maybe ones that "wave" at your mother without needing a response from her that might prove too much for you to handle. Send her a pretty post card. Call and say simply that you're checking in. That kind of thing. Try not to get ahead of yourself.
But whatever - ask for help, don't take on too much at once.
If you didn't love your mother, you wouldn't care a hoot about all this, you know. We're all only pedalling as fast as we can. Hugs to you.
There are so many things that need to be done outside the house too - like mowing the lawn.
Only one sister ever offered to pick up groceries that I was unable to order online.
No one offered to do anything else to help me. I was a 24/7 caregiver for 3 years and no one offered to lift a finger.
Offer to lift a finger.
As to start to care more for your Morger, make sure to arrange for time off. Take care of your health.
This could be an easy way for you to re-approach the situation. Because a visit is feeling quite overwhelming for you, it gives you a way to build up contact at an easy level that you can feel good about. Don’t underestimate how much it will matter to them or to you.
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