She moved in because of health debilitation's and financials. She is bed ridden for the most part due to rhuematoid arthritis, congestive heart failure and copd. ive had to stop my work to care for her around the clock, and now im unable to pay my rent. ive exhausted my savings by moving into a house that is on a ground floor(ive had an upstairs apt. for years]. i love my mom and dont mind caring for her, but 20 hour days are beginning to take its toll on myself
Her doctor should be able to provide you with a doctor's 'order' for Home Health assistance, (being bed-ridden & home-bound qualifies) which may help some, but won't allow you to get back to work so you can make rent payments. The doctor can also authorize DME that may help. (ie) hospital bed, commode, wheelchair etc. But - once again - without knowing her Medical Coverage; you may have a hefty co-pay for the DME. When I started with my mother - I went ahead and bought some DME that has lasted years. If you can't afford new - try flea markets and garage sales. I see you are in San Pedro? You may qualify for subsidized (HUD) housing. Google HUD San Pedro. Women taking care of children and/or parents are pushed to the top of the list. Contact them to get that started. If you can - find one within walking distance to groceries & a drug store. MEANWHILE - call your utility companies and ask for their 'low income' discounts. They'll send you a form (some do it online) and you can get substantial discounts on Gas & Electric. You may even qualify for a free cell phone & free monthly plan through Assurance Wireless. Cutting expenses lowered my stress :) You are in for the long haul. If you don't start finding ways to enjoy yourself a little; your love may turn to resentment. Keep in touch. You found a good group.
I agree that utilities should be addressed. Contact the providers; utilities with which I'm familiar have budget plans that allow for flat rates monthly to spread out the flux in seasonal usages.
Also check to see if you can get food assistance from places like Forgotten Harvest, Focus Hope, etc. Research your state government to see if there's an elder agency that can offer help. In Michigan, there's an excellent governmental agency that offers advice and assistance on getting help, including with food.
Contact local senior centers and inquire about their programs. Depending on your community, there may be a variety of organizations with which they're familiar but are otherwise unknown to the public.
There's also a group called Angel Ministries which offers advice on a variety of programs: http://www.angel-ministries.org/#/programs-calendar. This group used to provide food packages for flat rates, but in a quick check I didn't see that on their website. Some more checking would be in order if this might help.
Lighthouse agency also offers advice and some assistance on different issues. Google or other search engines will help you locate these in your area and state.
As to the physical and emotional drain, try to schedule periodic down times when you both can just put aside all the health issues and enjoy each other's company. Listen to music, just chat, play cards, dominos or do something relaxing. If you don't find time to recuperate, you'll end up emotionally and physically drained.
If you know any neighbors, ask if they or others have pets that could come and visit. Pet therapy will relax and refresh both you and your mother.
You mentioned stopping your work. Did you quit or are you off under FMLA?