He is 98, in memory care, has CHF, but is pretty happy watching westerns and napping. He is usually all smiles but never liked showers in the past 5 years of his DX. The past couple months have gotten worse, with him striking and kicking staff as they try to shower him. It requires more than one person. We have a virtual appt with MD to check skin issues on his legs (an on-going issue due to dry skin (they apply lotion and meds when needed), and they’ve requested orders for UTI test. They are also requesting possible med to calm him an hour before showering. The staff nurse will be at the “appt” as well. Any ideas or advice?
The "problem" that this might cause is he may be more of a fall risk for a few hours after so if they can do the shower before bed that might be a safer time.
Also keep in mind that a bed bath might be an option as well.
I'd rattle on during the process about how I also hated showers dang it (of course not true), adding that I was going to contact a lawyer about it, and (I'm not kidding, I'd said to him), a congressman to look into this craziness and I that I bet we could sue. Although non-stop agitated he was agreeing with me and looked for a precious fraction of a bit appeased. He had an ally. I'd quickly add that I bet we could beat our last record of 3 minutes to 2 minutes and work on less. I often got soaked. I often had my ungloved hand in some monster adult sh.t with aids laughing quietly as my goal was to not let him endure more time in distress, I'd say it's ok this is family sh.t.
These poor sad demented care recipients develop a fear of water, feel a loss of control, or a heightened feeling of discomfort, and a complete incomprehension of the need to bathe. I've seen people totally unaware that putting their hands in the toilet to grasp their waist was wrong. It breaks my heart. These were fine, and lovely people.
PS. Regarding brushing teeth - an electric soft bristle tooth brush was done passingly, and a waterpick at a gentle force helped for a while.
Also, calming meds, in my husband's case, made things worse. After the morning shower he slept all day and then needed more drugs at night to sleep but just walked around all night like a drunk because he had slept enough during the day.
I'd vote for the meds before showering.
Also, yes, someone like your dad qualifies for hospice. The one my husband is on will admit them if they are in steady decline from a fatal disease, which dementia is. Many in his memory care facility are under hospice care. It's wonderful because the hospice nurse is there a lot. She keeps an eye on all of them, even if it's not their day to see her. The more eyes on them, the better the care. Truth.
re:hospice….his health seems ok, except for the wgt gain from CHF. He eats well, can get himself out of his chair and walking (only if he wants) or at least from chair to walker seat, and then he can move his feet to get to meals. Once in a while walks w/walker.
he is in later stage of dementia-incontinent, eats w/hands (essential tremor and Parkinson’s), doesn’t know what is really going on w/tv, and yesterday was the first time he asked if I was with (motioned w/arm, unable to come up w/most words). Looks like he could go for another couple years.
does someone like that qualify for hospice?